Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

This week: a former product manager, who is an aspiring product marketing manager working in tech, and who makes $36,000 per year, spends some of it on career coaching session.

If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email. We are legally unable to publish any diaries that have been written with the use of AI.

Editor’s Note: This is a 2026 follow-up diary, you can read the previous diary here.

Interested in taking our latest Money Diaries survey? We’d love to hear your thoughts here.

Occupation: Former product manager (aspiring product marketing manager)
Industry: Tech
Age: 25
Location: Atlanta, GA
Salary: $36,000
Joint Income/Financial Setup:
Assets:
401(k): $69,000
HYSA: $12,500
Money Market Fund: $17,497
Roth IRA: $38,942
Debt: $3,042 (this is tentative due to an unemployment mishap)
Paycheck Amount (Weekly): $2,892.89 (This fluctuates since I work two jobs, both with varying hours)
Pronouns: She/her/hers

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $0 (I currently live with my family)
Loan Payments: $0
Spotify: $12
NYT Subscription: $6
Gym Membership: $29.99
Google One: $19.99
GRE prep resource: $9.99
Therapy: $60
Claude Pro: $20
Tithe: ~$200
Car Insurance: $0 (I paid this off in full at the start of the year)
Netflix: $0 (I’m on my family’s plan)
Debt: $2,994 (credit cards)

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes — growing up in an immigrant household with a family of educated professionals, higher education was a requirement, and post-grad is the expectation. Luckily, my four-year university was covered by a state scholarship and my parents paid for the remainder and housing.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My parents generally talked about living below one’s means and saving aggressively. However, they didn’t really talk about investing. My brother educated me on starting an investment account when I was in college, which I’m very grateful for. 

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I was an ice cream server at age 16 because I wanted to buy my own clothes and fund weekend outings with friends.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, I grew up in an affluent household and it was a privilege to not worry about money.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes and no. Yes — because I’m unemployed for the first time in my adult life for a long stretch of time (it’s been seven months now) due to an unexpected termination. While I saved somewhat aggressively when I was employed, I’m no longer able to save and invest at the same pace, meaning I feel very behind when it comes to my personal financial goals. However, I moved back home once I lost my job, so I no longer have to worry about rent and groceries, for the most part. This was the biggest blessing I could’ve imagined as I was considering signing a lease shortly before the termination occurred. 

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I would say age 23 — but I’m 25 and I rely on my parents as a financial safety net now. I’m forever grateful for them.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Nope.

Day One: Monday

6:30 a.m. — I have a final interview today — a surprise in-person round that I’d been anticipating pretty much all of last week. I pray in bed before groggily getting up to throw on some workout clothes and dash to the gym.

7:00 a.m. — It’s glute day. I feel like giving up halfway through — oh, man — but I don’t. My body will thank me later (I hope). 

9:00 a.m. — I log into my first job (it’s a temporary role that’s mostly remote) and make a cal block for a three-hour ‘appointment’. I answer a few calls and eat breakfast: coffee, overnight oats with my homemade Greek yogurt (a life-changing staple, if you ask me). I make a cup of coffee before putting on some business casual clothes (for the first time in forever!) Then I drive to the interview.

12:00 p.m. — Interview complete and I’m relieved. The conversation with the hiring manager was nice, but I couldn’t fight the feeling that this job feels like a bit of a demotion compared to the scale and scope of work I did at my previous company. I think the hiring manager picked up on this because they curiously asked me if I hated it, I think in some attempt to understand why I ‘left’. So, I guess, the ‘org change’ answer wasn’t enough. Anywho, I try to remind myself that I want to make a career pivot, so this next step may not be as glamorous, but it will be an opportunity for me. I sure hope the price is right, though! The salary is still an enigma, but I won’t worry about negotiations unless there’s even an offer on the table.  

1:15 p.m. — I’m back home and back to work. I answer calls I missed and do some paperwork. I then make some smoked salmon on toasted ciabatta with cottage cheese and a bit of kimchi (weird combo, but tasty). I switch between a meeting with a developer for my second job and a coffee chat with a girl who works in the department of the second company I’m interviewing with. Funnily enough, right after the interview, I find out I’ve made it to the third round — eek! However, the call left me with reservations on the scope and power of my work at the other company too (sigh). 

4:15 p.m. — I finish out the ‘work’ day with a coaching call (ironically, I coach for my past role and help people get into the company that let me go). It’s a prescreen and the candidate wanted to book for a future session. 

6:45 p.m. — I have a bit of time before my scheduled social event of the day: a meet-up with college friends since one is in town for the week. I meal prep banana muffins for the gym and a bulgogi-flavored ground turkey and Korean sweet potato salad. It only takes like 35 mins total to make! I finish meal prep right before GRE class [Graduate Record Examination]. My plan, before my life blew up, was to go back to school next year. Nonetheless, I’m committed to knocking out my testing this year for good. Since I double-booked myself today, I listen to the class like a podcast as I hit the road. 

10:00 p.m. — Had a splendid time catching up with friends, and it makes me feel more like myself. Chatting about my life, or the mess that it feels like it is currently, with people who don’t shame or judge me, is so completely freeing. I eat my meal prep and snack on some carrots I’d brought from home.

10:30 p.m. — I’m back home, so I make some hot cocoa (this is part of my daily routine), chew some nuts, and resume interview prep. I have a very important interview coming up this week, so I have to create multiple ‘stories’ and memorize them each night. It’s annoying but I’m determined to make this work pay off.

12:00 a.m. — I snack on popcorn as I prep. Finally, I get an email confirmation for said ‘important interview, ‘ and it’s sooner than I expected — eek! I’m going to have to move around my work schedule to accommodate it (and possibly my sleep). 

Daily Total: $0

Day Two: Tuesday

6:30 a.m. — Today is usually spin day at the gym BUT because I have a big interview tomorrow and I have to go to an event tonight, so I’m devoting all the time that I have to preparation. I skip class, catch a few more Zzzs, get up to pray, and then start cranking out my story examples for the interview. I take a break to apply to more jobs and get started on work emails from my first job. I finally take a break from multi-tasking between story prep, job hunting, and emails to shower.

8:45 a.m. — I have a couple mins before my long team meeting starts, so I make the quickest meal known to man: smoked salmon on toasted ciabatta with mashed avocado and cottage cheese. I sprinkle nutritional yeast flakes and sriracha on top, and toss it in the air fryer for a few minutes.

10:30 a.m. — I finish up a coffee chat and end up getting a referral for a role so I quickly finish that application. I plan on front-loading today’s tasks, so I can spend the rest of my hours job hunting and prepping for tomorrow’s interview. All the while, I try to fight my own intrusive thoughts since it will be seven months of unemployment for me tomorrow. Wowzers.

1:00 p.m. — I’m on an application rampage. I reach out to three friends for referrals and get responses pretty quickly — people are so nice. I intermittently check work emails and request payment from job number two (since that’s overdue). I will restart interview prep tomorrow.  

2:00 p.m. — Food break — it’s the same Korean bulgogi-inspired salad with some carrots. I do interview prep with Claude so it can take on an interviewer’s persona and I can get feedback. I actually end up running out of credits and purchase extra tokens *wow*. Like most people, I have a moral dilemma when it comes to AI, especially due to my current situation, but what can I say? It’s cheaper than a career coach (which TBH I might need). $20

5:00 p.m. — I have a session with my therapist, which allows me to vent about my frustrations and confusion with the current state of my life. She’s very helpful in reframing my outlook on life and the pressures I impose on myself out of anger. I’m definitely going to work on being less self-focused and instead, pour my time into meaningfully contributing to others. I made a note to sign up for a volunteer opportunity I’ve been eyeing but de-prioritizing due to job hunting.

6:30 p.m. — I have an event to go to, specifically to support a friend’s performance. I somehow managed to eat my meal-prepped dinner in the car: tofu stir-fry with black rice and beans with a fried egg. The event is fun, insightful, and a good opportunity to step out of my head and hang out with old friends. I leave feeling a bit lighter.

10:45 p.m. — I get home and have a catch-up session with my mom after not seeing her for two days. It turns into a post-therapy vent about how I’m feeling, and she does a great job of encouraging me through some tough love. I make some low-sugar hot cocoa and a cup of yogurt with peanut butter and a sprinkle of nuts. It’s time to resume interview prepping.

12:30 a.m. — Halfway through prep, I realize I’m actually still hungry, so I make cheese on toast and power through another Claude session. I’m tired but also feel hopeful and remind myself that my future will be bright. Positive reinforcement, babes! I hit the hay around 1:45 after a 20-minute scroll on TikTok.

Daily Total: $20

Day Three: Wednesday

7:00 a.m. — Rise and shine! I slept in a lil’ bit today due to last night’s late-night prep session. I’m meant to do another one this morning, but gym first.

7:30 p.m. — I hit arms and run into an old college friend — we’re both surprised to see each other since we live in the ‘burbs.

9:00 a.m. — Start part-time job number one quite promptly. Part-time job number two sends me incorrect payment info, in addition to some unrealistic project expectations, so I level-set and plan to work on what I can on Thursday.  

11:00 a.m. — I run a mock interview with a stranger through this coaching website for jobseekers. It’s my first experience, and I find it incredibly helpful, especially given my AI interview coach agent has been a little too sycophantic these days. It also helps to expose some blind spots before my hour-long interview later this afternoon. 

1:00 p.m. — I begrudgingly end up paying for another sesh with a career coach. I did a few last year when I was beginning my job pivot, but clearly, I think I need to readjust my approach with someone on a more consistent basis. For a 15 min consultation, I spend damn near $50! I feel robbed, but yet again, I’m willing to do whatever I have to do to secure a full-time offer (within reason). I eat the same bulgogi meal prep for lunch. $48.52

4:00 p.m. — My hour-long interview leaves me feeling exhausted. I also fear I didn’t use the best, applicable examples. Nonetheless, I’m grateful for the opportunity and optimistic for more to come (where I can hopefully leverage MORE diverse examples).

6:00 p.m. — I take a break from worrying about my job hunt to make homemade yogurt in the Instant Pot. I also snack on some carrots, pretzel sticks, and oatmeal with some peanut butter (random, but we’re an ingredients household). I start reviewing my last GRE class (the one that I passively listened to on my way to a friend outing). I don’t finish the video but tune into the latest class.

8:20 p.m. — Wow, I actually fell asleep during a bit of class today. It was on Zoom and my face wasn’t on camera, but my instructor yelled, “Stay strong!” I’ve signed up for another mock interview sesh at 9 p.m., but I’m so tired, so I nap after class instead and stay in bed for an hour. 

9:30 p.m. — The medley of snacks reduced my appetite for a proper dinner, so I eat a bit of leftover black rice with scrambled eggs and bits of smoked salmon. I add some kimchi and avocado for good measure. I’m so sleepy so I stay in bed and watch the latest episode of Euphoria. At this point, I’m watching to critique its current direction. This is the first time I’ve watched TV in a while; it feels nice to relax a bit. I do an abbreviated TikTok scroll before my eyes glaze over around 11.

Daily Total: $48.52

Day Four: Thursday

5:00 a.m. — It’s spin class time! The music is so good today, and I smile the whole time. The energy of the class is just so high — it definitely helps to improve my mood. 

9:00 a.m. — Back online — I have to do some fieldwork for job number one today. I make a smoked salmon sandwich with avocado and cottage cheese spread on ciabatta. I also make some of my instant Colombian coffee; it’s so yummy.

11:00 a.m. — I have an onsite appointment with a client. It goes well and I snack on a mini popcorn bag on my way back home, where I’ll finish up my work.

1:00 p.m. — I’m home. I air fry my bulgogi salad and it tastes like an egg roll in a bowl, definitely bookmarking for next time! I do another mock interview, and it’s super helpful. I also finish up client calls and notes from job number one.

4:00 p.m. — I have a career coaching call and ponder setting up another session, given my desire to secure an offer from one of the companies I’m currently interviewing with. Also, I hear back from the big interview from yesterday, and I’ve moved on to a Power Day interview (think: five-plus hours of interviewing). 

5:00 p.m. — I need to catch up on GRE studying but I’m starting to feel super tired. I was supposed to go to a startup event in the city, but given I have a third-round interview tomorrow, I decide it would be best to nap and then schedule another mock interview later tonight.  

7:30 p.m. — Dang, I’m still tired and I sincerely don’t know why lol. Anywho, I eat some kimchi stir-fry and egg meal prep with black rice. I then feel super nauseous (I’m unsure why) but I keep a nausea band around so all good.

9:00 p.m. — I do a mock interview with a peer who’s been unemployed for a year. I pray my fate is not the same and that she finds success in her latest interview. I practice a few targeted questions for tomorrow’s interview and get on the phone with a friend to discuss the upcoming Power Day and how I can best prepare. (If you can’t tell, my whole day revolves around interview prep). 

11:45 p.m. — I stop prepping and watch a few YouTube videos while enjoying my homemade yogurt with some peanut butter and fruit. I also buy a party ticket for Saturday. I fall asleep pretty quickly after that (following a typical TikTok scroll). $11.99

Daily Total: $11.99

Day Five: Friday

7:30 a.m. — I struggle to get up — it’s been a struggle the past week and I think it has something to do with my nighttime scrolling. I skip the gym today to prioritize prayer and then interview prep. I eat some coffee overnight oats with peanut butter for brekkie. 

10:00 a.m. — I have a coaching call for a separate program that I’m in, and I decide that, given the changes in my employment, I would likely defer my participation in the program. It’s a hard decision to make, and I genuinely feel tears stinging my eyes. (I’m very Type A so it pains me when life doesn’t go according to plan). But I’m practicing surrendering my plans and letting things be, with the knowledge that they will work out in the end as they should.

11:00 a.m. — Time for the interview. While I performed well, I was stumped and discouraged by the question of my employment gap and felt myself spiralling into anxiety about the quality of my response. I text a friend for some reassurance and try to calm myself down. Today, I receive two additional interview requests. Next week will be very busy, and I have to ensure the same mistakes do not repeat themselves.

12:00 p.m. — I’m moving my scheduled test exam to a later date. With interview prep, I’ve had no time to prepare the way I should be preparing. Like most things in America, there’s a fee associated. I also book an hour sesh with my job coach so double whammy on my CC. $212.52

2:30 p.m. — I have a meeting and eat lunch: ciabatta with scrambled eggs, cottage cheese and smoked salmon with avocado. My boss for job number two is going out of the country next week without providing the resources I needed to finish a project. I’m annoyed but going to use his absence to focus on interview prep. I’m seeing a movie with a friend tomorrow so I buy tickets online. $18.38

4:00 p.m. — I’m having a mini breakdown over my interview performance earlier today since I was really interested in the role I was applying for, but I know that my employment gap was the elephant in the room I didn’t directly address. I also haven’t heard back from my final round interview so that only amplifies my anxiety. I take a break from my mental anguish to pay an outstanding fine at my library. I also pick up gum and an e.l.f. brow gel on the way home. $14

7:00 p.m. — I play pickleball with a friend and go out to dinner. I end up covering their meal since they paid for the court reservation, which was way more expensive than I expected. I leave the outing not sure if this turned into a date or not. He starts asking if I’m currently dating, which I’d tried and failed to do, mainly because at times, I feel like I don’t have much to offer without the identity and security that comes with a FTJ (dumb, I know). He doesn’t seem to care, though, and the conversation becomes less serious — TBD where things go, I guess! $25

11:30 p.m. — I help my mom with her hair for an event tomorrow and make a Ninja CREAMi ice cream while I catch up on the latest episode of Euphoria.  

Daily Total: $269.90

Day Six: Saturday

9:00 a.m. — I sleep in and take some time to pray about some important decisions I have to make. My legs are very sore from pickleball, which I later discover during my morning leg day workout. I think I’ve pulled something in my knee. I make an egg salad sandwich with carrots.

1:00 p.m. — I clean my room and then go to the movies with a friend. We see Obsession, and we’re both unsure if the movie was as good as the TikTok reviews said it was, but I did enjoy the underlying messaging. After leaving the theater, my car battery dies unexpectedly. Luckily, I get a jump-start by a kind stranger at my friend’s apartment complex. I snack on some mini popcorn bags on the ride home and stop by an auto shop to make sure my car is okay. 

5:00 p.m. — I work on a presentation for an upcoming trip (mission trip) that I’m going on in the summer. I also start interview prep for next week, but I fall asleep. After my nap, I make a bowl of leftover kabob chicken, rice, kimchi, and avocado.

9:00 p.m. — I’m going to the club with friends but stop by a kava shop first to get a drink since I want to try a non-alcoholic alternative. I get a drink to split with a friend. $7.13

12:00 a.m. — We get to the club and our $12 tickets are no longer valid, so now we have to buy $25 tickets to enter the event. Yeah, not happening. I’m able to make a new friend who ‘sponsors’ my ticket and he generously pays for my friends as well. We all dance the night away, and I get home at 5 a.m

Daily Total: $7.13

Day Seven: Sunday

12:00 p.m. — I have a very late start to the day. Due to a rainy weekend forecast, a friend’s picnic event has been cancelled. In anticipation of better weather to come tomorrow, I decide to focus on interview prep and finishing some items on my to-do list. But first, I watch church service online. It was good, as usual, and so I give my weekly tithe. $50

2:30 p.m. — I make avocado toast with smoked salmon, kimchi, and a small purple potato, sprinkled with nutritional yeast. The perks of living at home and with an immigrant family is I don’t have to buy most of my groceries. I recognize this is a privilege that I’m extremely grateful for (job or no job). That being said, I still go to the store to buy things that my family wouldn’t normally eat or purchase — I buy a tub of cottage cheese, protein cereal, gum, a small container of Greek yogurt, which serves as a starter for my homemade batch, and extra firm tofu for meal prep. We’re an ingredients household so we always have rice and frozen vegetables on hand. $22

7:00 p.m. — I finish my presentation and start interview prep work, which is essentially building several different STAR [Situation, Task, Action, and Result] stories. I take a break to catch up with my long-distance bestie. Our chats always lift my spirits a lil’. I eat my tofu and kimchi stir-fry meal prep for dinner.

11:00 p.m. — I call it quits on interview prep — I still need to create four more detailed stories for an upcoming multi-hour interview. I start doing GRE homework but abruptly realize I need a refresher, as it’s been way too long since I visited the topic. I make my pre-Memorial Day calendar intending to finish my interview prep stories so I can get back into GRE prep, and then start working on job number two items. I finish my remaining homemade yogurt with peanut butter and protein cereal (it tastes like ice cream!)

12:10 a.m. — Bedtime! I needed to make a decision by the end of today, as well as a few financial choices, given there are a couple of trips that my friends want to go on. Since my unemployment journey began, I’ve been the bottleneck to group travel, but I’m trying to not let my current circumstance always dictate my response and be optimistic for the future, instead of anxious over it.

Daily Total: $72

The Breakdown

Conclusion:
I think that my discretionary spending was way higher than usual. I typically don’t plan for three ‘fun’ outings per week, but I had a friend visit town. I also wanted to take advantage of the Memorial Day holiday, hence the party tickets. Recording my spending has also made me hyper-aware of the investments (both financial and mental) that I put into the job hunt. Now, I don’t think I necessarily NEED a coach to achieve my goals, but I want to ensure I’m putting 100% of my efforts into this search given the state of the economy and my future ambitions of going to grad school. In the future, I hope that I can make fun purchases without the anxiety and regret that accompany frivolous spending.

Update:
Needless to say, my life STILL feels like a work in progress and damn is it EXHAUSTING. I’m actively interviewing for my (theoretical) dream role while working my current full-time job. I’m also exploring what it means to find fulfillment outside of my 9-5 through social impact and creative writing. Although I still complain a lot about feeling stagnant and frankly uncertain about where my life will go, I’m grateful and blessed to be where I’m today. The journey continues.

Final side note: A lesson that I’m still learning is the importance of decoupling my worth from a role. Regardless of their title, the odd jobs that I held throughout my unemployment season played a pivotal role in my personal and professional growth. A career shouldn’t be defined by what you bring into a 9-5; it’s what you pour into your community through your curiosity, intelligence, and wit. 

Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.

The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.

Do you have a Money Diary you’d like to share? Submit it with us here.

Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

A Week In Indianapolis, IN On A $50,000 Salary

A Week In San Francisco On $1,673,000 Joint Income

A Week In Washington, D.C. On A $72,977 Salary

from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/zvV69hN
via IFTTT

Olivia Rodrigo may only be 23, but the pop star knows exactly who she is. The young singer has been vocal about supporting women’s rights since she was a teenager, and recently held the inaugural Daisy Chain Fields music festival — inspired by Sarah McLachlan’s Lilith Fair — raising $20 million USD for women’s charities. During a press conference for the festival, where she announced an initial $10 USD million donation, Rodrigo made waves by stepping out in a Palestinian-designed dress by Nöl Collective. At a time when Palestine is suffering under Israeli occupation, wearing a garment made on the ground with symbols of freedom on it was a strong statement.

“It helped say, ‘We are still here; we have not been forgotten’,” designer and founder Yasmeen Mjalli tells Refinery29. “It meant the world to us.” Mjalli isn’t sure how Rodrigo or her team discovered their fashion brand, but says they were honoured to be chosen, and stayed in contact with her team throughout the process. While the singer’s team suggested some general ideas for the silhouette that aligned with her classic style and the colour pink, Nöl Collective were given more free rein than one might imagine. “We had a lot of creative freedom in the details, such as the shade of pink — a soft and dusty rose — the type of material we use[d], raw silk, [and] details like the flutter sleeves, frilled neckline, the embroidery motifs and the embroidery colours,” the designer explains. “It was so much fun to be given the creative freedom to bring something to life that honoured Olivia’s style while also reflecting our own identity.”

The symbols on the dress are also more than just decoration. While the garment is beautiful, Nöl Collective knows the power that Palestinian embroidery can hold; representing a political reality, the natural world, and our dreams. The design house chose specific motifs to tie into Rodrigo’s ethos and what she stands for. “The flowers spoke to the theme of the Daisy Chain Fields festival. Flowers are incredibly important in our world; they decorate the land after rains, [provide] beauty after a storm, [support] ecosystems, [feed] wildlife, and sometimes [contain] medicinal properties,” Mjalli says. “In this particular instance, the daisy chain symbolizes the power of a united world in the face of adversity.” The dusty rose dress also featured embroidered birds, a clear representation of freedom — not just for Palestinians, but for all those who need it around the world.

It helped say, ‘We are still here; we have not been forgotten’.

Yasmeen Mjalli On olivia rodrigo choosing Nöl Collective To Design Her Dress

Nöl Collective’s garments are handmade in Jerusalem, Gaza, Ramallah, and Bethlehem, and the fashion brand places a strong emphasis on showcasing the entire process. Mjalli knows fashion is inherently political, regardless of where a garment is made. “70% of garment workers in the world are women; it’s a women’s rights issue,” she says. “[And] because fashion has unfathomably detrimental effects on the environment, it’s also an environmental issue.” Fast fashion has been widely criticized for human rights violations and environmental impact, but it’s so easy for consumers to compartmentalize or ignore these issues.

“When you show how the garment is made, you humanize the process and close the gap that separates the consumer from the creator. The hope is that people are more mindful when buying because they can see how much time, labor and love go into a garment,” the designer explains. “We hope that for every garment we put out in the world, you can picture the hands of the women who made them — the same hands which brush hair, pick fruit, and hold children and grandchildren.”

It’s impossible to talk about Nöl Collective without acknowledging the impact the Israeli occupation has had on them. For Mjalli, it’s incredibly hard to put into words how difficult the process of creating garments has been. Moving between cities and towns now takes much longer due to military checkpoints, shipping orders is challenging due to border closures, and customs can destroy shipments at their discretion.

It was so much fun to be given the creative freedom to bring something to life that honored Olivia’s style while also reflecting our own identity.

Nöl Collective founder Yasmeen Mjalli

The fashion house uses natural fibres that it is unable to source locally, so it relies on shipments from overseas. Last week, a large shipment of naturally dyed and hand-woven wools from Indian artisans was rejected. “[It was] destroyed last week, simply because of who we are. This was devastating, because our production had already been delayed for months, meaning the collection would be released much later than needed,” the founder says. “We still had to pay the cost of shipping and for the fabric itself because the artisans still need to be paid for their labor, and then we still needed to buy replacement fabric.” The fashion house ended up having to start a GoFundMe to cover the excess costs because fashion and art matter, and it’s a form of resistance to keep going.

Mjalli wants people to understand how vital it is to support Palestinian businesses, especially those on the ground. “We are creating under impossible circumstances,” she says. “Every day, a door slams shut in our face, and we keep searching until we find another door to keep going. So many talented artisans here don’t get a chance, so supporting artisanal work on the ground here can profoundly impact the community.”

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Why Black Feminists Are Standing Up For Palestine

Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Serena Joy’ Demands Solidarity

BTS: Michaela Coel's TIFF Fashion Tribute To Sudan

from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/jeVGLQr
via IFTTT

FX’s Adults is one of the buzziest new shows around. It’s a show that embraces the realities of life as a Gen-Zer in this chaotic world, and although it’s a laugh-out-loud comedy, it doesn’t shy away from real-world topics. In Season 1, there was an episode devoted to the cost of healthcare in the US, and the cliffhanger saw Paul Baker (Jack Innanen) struggle to immigrate as a Canadian citizen. Season 2 examines even more real-world issues, including language use, fear of aging as women, and our digital footprint. Lucy Freyer, the Australian star who plays Billie Schaeffer, tells Refinery29 that this could be why Adults resonates with so many viewers. Season 2 spoilers follow.

In Season 1, Issa Damani (Amita Rao) takes in a young teenager, Annabelle, who needs an abortion. Due to reproductive laws, she’s had to travel to New York to receive healthcare. The episode escalates, with Annabelle portrayed as an unlikeable, whiny character — but the point is clear. Everybody should have the right to reproductive healthcare, even if they’re annoying. “All of these ideas are packaged in this way that is sort of fun and easy. But when you think about it, you’re like, oh. [There’s] actually a lot to think about,” Freyer laughs.

In Season 2, Episode 7 “C Alert”, Anton Evans (Owen Thiele) gets in trouble when dropping the word “cunt” (complimentary) in a corporate setting. Many people from the LGBQTIA+ communities have taken back this word and use it in a positive way — see PEDESTRIAN.TV’s “cunty” moment with Pedro Pascal here — but it becomes a whole thing with the older, predominantly white NYC executives.

“When we read it, I was like, ‘Oh, it’s so brilliant!’,” Freyer recalls. “It’s about the evolution of language. David Foster Wallace has this essay that he wrote, which is actually a book review of a dictionary called Authority in American Usage and it’s about language.” She goes on to say that some people allow language to evolve, while others hold on to an idea of the traditional use of language. It’s these types of storylines that make us think deeper and keep us hooked.

One of Billie’s biggest hurdles this season is ageing. It sounds laughable, since her character is only 25, but it’s so easy to feel like you’re fighting an invisible clock. Again, it’s relatable. Freyer says she turned 30 while she was filming that particular episode, and was faced with an actor who played a younger version of her. “She’s so lovely and young, and [I thought], this could spin me out. But you know what? I’m exactly where I need to be, this is great,” Freyer says. “I think now ageing, especially for women, everything is happening later. It doesn’t matter. You don’t have any specific timeline… it used to be this idea of life ends when you turn 30, but [now] it’s like life feels like it’s just beginning, and in a big way.”

I think now ageing, especially for women, everything is happening later… [there] used to be this idea of life ends when you turn 30, but [now] it’s like life feels like it’s just beginning.

Lucy Freyer

Part of the reason Freyer thinks the “ticking clock” conversation isn’t as relevant now is due to health technology advances like egg freezing and IVF — another big storyline in Adults Season 2. “Specifically for women who want to have [biological] children, there is that biological clock that sort of starts to play into the way you think about your existence after you turn 30,” the actor says. “I think now with egg freezing, it’s opened up a world for women to be like, actually, you know what? I’m going to throw those things on ice and live my life the way I want to live it, and not [have it] dictated by that timeline.”

The other big drawcard for Adults is that friendship sits at the heart of every episode. Friends are your chosen family, and seeing what Billie and the gang get up to in each episode can either give you nostalgia for earlier days or something to look forward to. “To be able to live with friends when things sort of don’t matter that much is the greatest joy you can possibly have in life,” Freyer declares. “Especially friendship when proximity is easy.”

The actor notes that when you get older, it becomes harder to have regular, quality time with your friends, even just because of location and schedules. But the sweet spot for Adults is the setting: when you still have housemates and can be so entrenched in each other’s lives. “When you’re living with your friends, and you don’t have things on in your life that matter that much, friendships can be the centre of your life,” she says.

“Issa and Billie’s relationship in this season, the way they explore it and how we end up sharing a room… I think that it’s such a beautiful depiction of friendship in your 20s.”

Adults Season 2 is now available to stream on FX.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

The Not Suitable For Work Cancellation Is Harsh

Dolly Parton Was 'Aunt Dolly' & That Was Enough

Jennifer Garner’s New Show Is An Ode to Friendship

from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/7bLZiJV
via IFTTT

Besides a pilot, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone as well-traveled as Gabriella Karefa-Johnson. From the winding streets of London and the cobblestones of Paris to the glittering sands of Jamaica, the New York-based fashion editor and stylist — who made history as the first Black woman to style the cover of Vogue — has amassed a lifetime of memories, experiences, and, naturally, scents from the destinations that have shaped her work. Getting there, however, hasn’t always been smooth sailing — or flying.

“It’s difficult to exist sometimes in marginalized bodies,” says Karefa-Johnson, “so when you’re in this kind of like, rarefied air — as some might call first class — it can feel alienating, like there are eyes on you, like you’re not supposed to be there.” One thing she’ll never do? Shrink. “Or camouflage,” says Karefa-Johnson. “I’m going to be me wherever I am, and I think that that’s why I feel so comfortable in these places, because I bring myself authentically.”

London — in particular the eclectic melting pot that is Brixton — is one such place where she can truly be herself, with the surrounding scents creating memories that linger long after the vacation ends. But beyond the powdery, soapy blend of cashmeran, musk, and patchouli that makes the iconic Rosewood Hotel’s pillow mist so unforgettable, it’s the city’s everyday food smells that stay with her most: “Think fish and chips all wrapped in a newspaper, so you have that paper smell,” says Karefa-Johnson.

Ultimately, though, nowhere smells as good as home. “I want to be smelling like — honestly and truthfully — my mom,” says Karefa-Johnson. “I haven’t seen my mom in a really long time [but] I want to go back home to hug her more. I want to be around her enough for her brilliance to rub off on me. And I want to prioritize being with my family that is all in LA; I miss them dearly.” So what does that feeling of comfort smell like? EOS Vanilla Cashmere 24H Moisture Body Lotion, Body Wash, and Body Mist, of course.

Listen to the full podcast episode, where Karefa-Johnson joins Nose Dive host Asia Grant — an NYC-based independent perfumer and creative director — for a conversation about taking up space and being unapologetically herself, the best-smelling London hotspots, and the scents she’d avoid wearing on a plane.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

JoJo On The Scents That Shaped Her Life & Career

from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/nksA5pN
via IFTTT

In the depths of sorrow, we turn to music. I know what each of my heartbreaks have sounded like. I know every song that has picked me up off the bathroom floor and every artist whose voice has been the unknowing soundtrack to my grief — due to loss, love, and everything in between. Those sonic moments of comfort — the ones that reach through the speakers and whisper that your loneliness isn’t singular — are so personal, shared between you, your headphones, and your tears. Dolly Parton has been with me for some heavy shit stuff (censored out of respect to Dolly, who hated cursing). Fittingly, since she couldn’t have kids of her own, Parton has helped me through my own journey with infertility. After my first pregnancy loss, I’d go on long walks by myself to cry, scream at the trees or God or whoever was listening, and grieve. I listened to a lot of Dolly (and Whitney and Aretha and all the divas whose voices have transcended their time on earth). What I remember most about those walks was that I listened to the WNYC podcast series Dolly Parton’s America.

In it, host Jad Abumrad walks listeners through Parton’s impact, from her poor Appalachian upbringing to her country roots and Dolly iconography to how borderless her influence became — how the themes of her folk music stretched from Appalachia to West Africa, from “Nashville to Nairobi”, the show charts Parton’s global appeal. Like many have pointed out since her death this week, Parton was the last thing we all agreed on. She was universally beloved when the concept of being “universally beloved” doesn’t really exist anymore. She was an elder who adapted to the times when so many of her generation reject change. She was a celebrity who spoke her mind and loudly stood up for the less fortunate when stars of that ilk are becoming increasingly rare. She was a rich white lady who could have been a billionaire and chose to be a philanthropist instead. She led with empathy. Now, being empathetic is denigrated as a weakness. She embraced her femininity while being fiercely feminist, proving the two aren’t mutually exclusive. She said she wasn’t political but her actions showed us her politics clearly. Parton wasn’t perfect and she held multiple contradictions at once, but there was one thing she was, unequivocally: good. 

That goodness stretched from Parton’s Imagination Library, which provided hundreds of millions of books to children, to her support for LGBTQ+ and Black communities, to how she carried herself, to her philosophies on life and the cards it dealt her. Oftentimes, we value women by our reproductive systems. Society will say that motherhood is where we show our worth, that a woman’s most virtuous achievement in life is giving birth. None of that is true, of course, but even in death, when Parton is being remembered for her vulnerable songwriting, unmatched artistry, impeccable comedic timing, and her many charitable contributions, we’re also talking about the fact that she had no biological children. It’s a conversation we wouldn’t be having if she were a man (case in point: we’re not talking about the late Tim Curry, who also passed this week, in the same way), which makes it unfair to a point, but I also think that Parton’s views on motherhood are important to excavate. She spoke about motherhood the same way she did life: with irreverent honesty, wit, wisdom, and humility. 

I think it probably was [God’s] plan for me not to have kids so everybody’s kids could be mine. And they are now.

dolly parton

There isn’t much in the Dolly Parton’s America podcast about Parton’s struggle to conceive — she and her husband Carl tried for years — and her ultimate decision to be at peace with never having children, so there are quotes of her talking about her views on motherhood that I hadn’t seen until now that our timelines are full of Dolly Parton tributes, like this one she said to Andy Warhol for Interview Magazine:

“I couldn’t have children, I tried to for years. I’ve never been pregnant in my life. When I was a girl and fooling around, I was scared to death I’d get pregnant, and then when I got married and wanted to have children, I couldn’t have any. But I don’t miss it. I did for awhile, but I realize that I am everybody’s mother. I’ve raised five of my younger brothers and sisters, and now their kids call me Aunt Grannie. I’m like the grandma and the aunt.”

Last week, for the third time, a positive pregnancy test made me believe I’d finally become a mother. Once again, it didn’t work out the way I wanted. Despite growing up going to church, I don’t pray much anymore. What could possibly be the divine reasoning for the harrowing highs and lows of infertility? My husband and I are still trying, but over the past few days, I’ve been reckoning with the idea that it may not happen for us, that maybe I will never carry a pregnancy to term and raise a child who inherits a big forehead like all of us Newmans on my mom’s side of the family have. Parton has picked me up off the bathroom floor a lot this week. I’ve been inconsolable. Turns out, the third time wasn’t a charm. That fact has been a devastating reconciliation of expectations versus reality.

So much of the social media surrounding fertility journeys show the happy ending. There’s the hard fought battle for a baby, but it always ends with a baby. For Parton, it didn’t. And somewhere along the way, she and her husband decided that was for the best. She decided that providing books to hundreds of thousands of children was enough. She decided that helping raise her younger brothers and sisters was enough. She decided that being Aunt Dolly (most famously, to her goddaughter Miley Cyrus) was enough. A godmother, an auntie, a philanthropist, a caregiver. It was all enough. 

TOPSHOT – US singers Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus perform osntage during the 61st Annual Grammy Awards on February 10, 2019, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Robyn Beck / AFP) (Photo by ROBYN BECK/AFP via Getty Images)

In the past week, many writers have taken on the impossible task of eulogizing a last-of-her-kind icon who cannot be put into words. How do you describe the defeat, hurt and humor laced in the melodies of “Jolene”? How do you explain the spiritual experience of listening to “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” for the first time? How do you illustrate that Parton was the closest thing we had to an actual saint on earth while also being a complex cultural figure who loved to tell a dirty joke? How do you sum up that she birthed every country female singer songwriter currently reigning the charts? When Ashley Fetters Maloy from The Washington Post tried to tribute Parton, her piece “Why it matters that Dolly Parton wasn’t a mother” was met with backlash. People took offense to the publication’s post on X that read, “Parton’s lack of children demonstrated that the world could in fact love a woman who wasn’t a mother.. She was proof that a person could be an advocate for children while choosing against parenting.”

I actually understand and agree with Fetters Maloy’s sentiment about how the world sees women. See: when JD Vance disparaged “childless cat ladies” or how the internet reacts when a woman dares to get pregnant past the age of 40 or, god forbid, decides not to have children at all and expresses zero regret for that choice (Oprah and Tracee Ellis Ross may be applauded now but they have faced an onslaught of judgment). And with the tradwife movement on the rise, choosing to be childfree is radical. The whole piece is worth a read, not just the poorly-worded social post. Maybe it is a nice narrative to push though, that Parton was a progressive badass who chose to be childfree decades before it was cool, and in true Dolly fashion, there are cheeky quotes to back up that framing (“We don’t want children of our own… we don’t want the total responsibility” Parton told the BBC in 1978), but the reality is more complicated. Parton suffered from endometriosis resulting in a partial hysterectomy. She was unable to have children of her own, then chose not to become a parent by other means, and devoted her life to helping kids anyway, and raising them in her own way. I think it does Parton’s story a disservice to leave out the fact that infertility isn’t a choice, and that she spent years dealing with the devastating disappointment of a dream unrealized. 

“God has a plan for everything,” Parton said on the Today show in October 2017. “I think it probably was his plan for me not to have kids so everybody’s kids could be mine. And they are now.”

These quotes have been hitting me in the gut. I had an appointment at a new fertility clinic on Wednesday. It was scheduled months ago. I didn’t know when I booked it that I would be dealing with another unsuccessful pregnancy, or that Dolly Parton would be dead. When I walked in, “9 to 5” was playing on the speakers in the brightly lit office. As my doctor rattled off my medical history from her notes (including a fibroid removal surgery last year I am still mentally and physically recovering from), I listened to the faded sounds of Parton’s iconic anti-capitalist hit: “They let you dream just to watch ’em shatter/ You’re just a step on the bossman’s ladder/ But you’ve got dreams he’ll never take away.”

Infertility will have you questioning every choice you’ve ever made, especially ones that involved putting your career above starting a family, wondering why you spent years pouring cups of ambition, striving for titles that don’t mean much to you anymore. Some of that is just the web of bullshit grief spins in your brain, scrambling your sense of self, but, in that moment, I found it fitting that Parton’s pro-union pop masterpiece was playing in the background. Like Parton, I am an auntie and it’s the title I am most proud of. I have four perfect nieces and nephews (the youngest just turned six), and I’m grateful to be a surrogate auntie to my friends’ kids. I know that I have so much space in my heart for the children in my life, and if the maternal love I have to give goes to my community instead of a biological kid of my own, I think I can be OK with that — just like Parton was.

When I shared the above Parton and Andy Warhol quote on social media, the post (which has over 800,000 views and 83,000 likes) was flooded with comments affirming Parton’s status as a mother to the world and some testimonies from people whose aunts helped raise them. “I had a great aunt like this and she was and is one of the most important people in my life,” one commenter wrote. “The most motherly person in my family is an aunt of mine who has no children,” posted another.  

I have friends who have chosen to never have kids and they are some of the most caring, nurturing, and loving people I know. My own godmother, my mom’s best friend of almost 50 years, raised me just as much as my parents and big brothers did. She’s a striking, loud, Caribbean lady from St. Vincent who would never be caught without dark lipstick. She showed up to my cousin’s funeral with purple lips, head-to-toe polka dots and a wide brimmed fascinator. She taught me to dress boldly (I still raid her closet for bright prints and statement jewelry), to live fearlessly (she once stopped a mugger by whacking him with her purse), and how to be a loyal friend (my mom wouldn’t have survived my parents’ divorce without her). My godmother has kids of her own, but I’ve always felt like hers. I know intimately that you don’t have to give birth to someone to become their favorite person. And yet, I needed the reminder this week. I needed to remember that for all the years I was uncertain about having children, I knew that being an Auntie — by blood or through friendship — was the honor of a lifetime. Thinking of the women in my life who are nurturing kids who will grow up and write comments like the ones above made me replace sobs with happy tears. 

In death, Parton has provided me with something I didn’t think was possible a few days ago: hope. Not the hope that precedes the certainty of getting what I want, but hope that one day I’ll be able to accept whatever happens. Dolly Parton didn’t have her own kids, but that doesn’t really matter. She was a mother. In every sense of the word, she was maternal. Since the announcement of Parton’s death on Tuesday, stories of her generosity have filled our timelines. To millions of kids, she was the lady who sent them books. To her niece Rebecca Ann Seaver, she was her “most trusted confidant” and “best friend.” To Cyrus, she was “an angel.” Parton knew what it meant to value community, and to be a part of the village that raises a child. The most impressive thing about Parton wasn’t just that her music connected her to the world, it’s that her life was a testament to the value of kindness and community, to treating every child as your own, and to seeing humanity in everyone and knowing that empathy is our greatest strength.

Dolly Parton and I have the same birthday, over 40 years apart. A big-haired, big tittied, spunky blonde from Appalachia and an anxious, small chested Black girl from the suburbs of Ontario, Canada don’t have much in common on paper, but the fellow Capricorn was one of those fixtures in pop culture who felt like family. That may be a little parasocial, and I’m sure I’ve been projecting the trauma of my infertility onto her this past week, but sometimes, that’s what art and celebrity does. What we consume can be a mirror that reflects more about ourselves than the artist. Projection or not, I know that Dolly Parton’s legacy — more than the Grammys, the chart topping hits, and Oscar-nominated roles — will be that she was a good person doing good in the world. I may never be able to be a mom, but I can be good. I can try my best to use my privileges to benefit others. I can provide the children in my life and beyond with all the love, protection, and respect I can muster, just like Aunt Dolly.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Refinery29 (@refinery29)

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Hollywood Failed Hayden Panettiere As We Watched

Has The Ariana Grande Body Discourse Gone Too Far?

from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/YjQwTgl
via IFTTT