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They say change is a good thing, and I like to think they’re right — especially where skincare is concerned. Formulas have come on in leaps and bounds in recent years, thanks to breakthrough ingredients (think PDRN and sunscreen’s newest UV filter, bemotrizinol, aka BEMT), not to mention clever packaging innovations. But progress also means some of our all-time favorite products are undergoing tweaks, and this month, it’s Drunk Elephant’s iconic T.L.C. Sukari Babyfacial AHA/BHA Exfoliating Mask that’s a little different.
What is Babyfacial and how does it work?
When Drunk Elephant unveiled Babyfacial in 2017, dermatologists, facialists, skincare enthusiasts and beauty editors alike sat up and took notice. While exfoliating masks weren’t new, few combined such a potent blend of alpha-hydroxy acids (25% AHAs) and beta-hydroxy acids (2% BHAs).
AHAs, including glycolic and lactic acid, work on the skin’s surface to dissolve dead skin cells, helping to fade hyperpigmentation and smooth uneven texture. BHAs, namely salicylic acid, penetrate deeper into pores, breaking down the paste-like mix of excess oil and dead skin cells that can lead to clogged pores and pimples. For devotees, Babyfacial delivers results that rival professional facials. So why change it?
What’s changed in Drunk Elephant’s Babyfacial formula?
Fans of the OG will be pleased to know that the same powerful acids — 25% AHA and 2% BHA — remain. Instead, chickpea flour has replaced chickpea extract, which the brand says helps “balance and brighten the skin’s appearance while combating dullness”. The change will also improve the texture and feel of the product.
I asked New York skin expert and facialist Jillian Blair whether this could meaningfully affect the cult favorite mask’s performance. She certainly thinks so: “[Chickpea] flour is the better choice here,” says Blair. “Chickpea itself is a known brightening ingredient, containing antioxidant compounds, and while an extract can deliver those [results], it has no physical texture of its own.” Flour, on the other hand, boasts those same brightening properties while also introducing natural grit, says Blair. “This lends a light physical exfoliation,” albeit gentler than larger particles like walnut shells or microbeads. “Unlike harsher scrubs, this type of grit tends to be fine rather than abrasive, so it buffs effectively without micro-tearing the skin or compromising the skin’s natural barrier,” — the outermost layer of skin that keeps good stuff in (like moisture) and other stuff out (like bacteria).
I also wanted to know if an ingredient like this could help offset the potential irritation caused by high-strength actives: “I wouldn’t call chickpea flour a true buffer, as it’s not neutralizing acid strength or changing a formula’s pH,” says Blair, but she adds, “What it may do is affect how a strong acid feels on the skin.” That’s because the flour adds bulk and texture. “It creates a bit of physical separation between the acid and the skin’s surface, which could soften the sensation as it’s massaged in,” says Blair.
Is the new Drunk Elephant Babyfacial better than the original?
Drunk Elephant says that it conducted more comprehensive testing and found a “marked improvement in texture, skin clarity, pore size, and even a reduction in redness”. As a fan of the OG mask, I had to take the latest one for a spin. Right off the bat, the texture felt a little different from how I remember it: it’s slightly thicker, which makes it easier to spread across the skin. It also sits a little heavier, but I actually like feeling as though I have product on my face because it reminds me to rinse it off. It’s easy to forget masks that dry down or disappear into the skin the moment they’re applied, and considering Babyfacial’s acids are so potent, the updated texture feels like a welcome change.
Whenever I go back to Babyfacial, I never know why I stopped using it in the first place. It helps minimize my closed comedone breakouts (those pesky little under-the-skin bumps), effectively clears my blackheads (making me far less likely to squeeze them), and fades red post-inflammatory acne marks like nothing else I’ve tried. I also love how incredibly soft my skin feels afterward.
If anything, it seems that Drunk Elephant’s messaging has changed the most, with the tagline “Please enjoy responsibly” appearing across the brand’s TikTok and Instagram bios — not just in relation to Babyfacial, but the entire line. It feels like a response to the brand’s powerful products recently landing in the wrong hands — namely much younger skincare enthusiasts whose skin barriers may not be ready for such high-strength formulas.
How do you use Drunk Elephant’s Babyfacial?
Despite a small change in formula, Babyfacial is still a once-weekly treatment that’s applied in a thin layer and left to work its magic before being rinsed off. The brand recommends leaving it on for up to 20 minutes, but given its high concentration of exfoliating acids, I usually stick to just five to 10 minutes — even as someone who uses ingredients like these regularly. Any longer and my skin can feel a little sore and tight afterward.
Michelle Ventresca, esthetician and founder of Live by Skin agrees that it’s important to acclimate your skin when using high-strength acids such as these. “Gradually building your skin’s tolerance is critical to avoid over-exfoliating and damaging your skin barrier,” she tells me. “Starting with less than what the product’s directions say, and slowly working up to their recommendations, can prevent irritating the skin and other negative outcomes.”
Wearing a broad-spectrum, high-factor sunscreen — like SPF 50 — is another essential step when using high-strength active ingredients at home, says Ventresca. “Ingredients like exfoliating acids and retinoids can increase the skin’s sensitivity to the sun,” she says, “making it more vulnerable to sunburn, irritation, and hyperpigmentation.” A dedicated sunscreen, rather than one combined with a moisturizer, is key here, she adds. “This helps ensure adequate protection and makes it easier to reapply throughout the day.”
Every bottle of Babyfacial comes with a mini vial of the brand’s Virgin Marula Luxury Facial Oil, designed to replenish moisture after the treatment. Since my skin is already oily and acne-prone, I tend to reach for a moisturizer instead, like Medicube’s PDRN Pink Collagen Capsule Cream, which contains hydrating glycerin and niacinamide, or Farmacy’s Honey Cloud Lightweight Barrier Repair Moisturizer, powered by moisture-locking squalane and barrier-protecting ectoin.
If you have sensitive or reactive skin, you’ll likely be better off choosing a product with a lower concentration of exfoliating acids. For clogged pores and blackheads, I recommend Paula’s Choice’s new 1% BHA Exfoliant, which halves the brand’s original 2% salicylic acid concentration for a gentler approach. If it’s brighter, smoother skin you’re after, I love Medicube’s Zero Pore Pads. They rely on lactic acid, an alpha-hydroxy acid that’s generally gentler than glycolic acid, while one side of each pad has a textured surface to provide a little extra physical exfoliation.
Where can you find the new Babyfacial Exfoliating Mask?
The new and improved Babyfacial has now replaced the original formula, so retailers like Sephora, Ulta, and Amazon now only carry the new version going forward.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The best people are a little weird. Maybe you talk to your plants or swear pineapple belongs on pizza. Me? I have a few perfume habits that I’ve been told are pretty unusual.
While we’re taught to apply fragrance to our pulse points or spray a cloud and walk through it, I’ve always done things differently. Over the years, these quirky rituals — along with my work as a fragrance content creator and background in scent chemistry — have earned me compliments, helped me get more out of the fragrances I wear, and changed the way I experience scent.
Without further ado, here they all are for your perusal.
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Having a “foundation” or a “base” scent
I’m convinced that a base scent — a fragrance used as a foundation layer before applying another over the top — acts like a tether for all my other perfumes, giving me a very specific, recognizable scent profile. Base fragrances can be worn at any time, for any occasion, either on their own or layered. Think of them as wardrobe essentials, like a tank top or a great pair of shoes.
The best foundational fragrance notes tend to smell light and subtle. Think citrus notes like lemon, mandarin, and bergamot, as well as aldehydes (molecules that lend a clean, soapy quality), and sandalwood, a warm, creamy, woody note. In my experience, these fragrance profiles rarely clash with bolder notes, like oud or florals, and they never come across as screechy.
One of my favorite foundational fragrances is BVLGARI Eau Parfumée Thé Vert Eau de Toilette, with zingy bergamot, refreshing tea leaves, and creamy neroli, an oil derived from the fragrant blossoms of the bitter orange tree. Then there’s Xerjoff Pikovaya Eau de Parfum, which mixes sandalwood, sparkling aldehydes, and citrus with the scent of retro soap shavings. It’s basically a white chiffon blouse in a bottle.
I also love Santa Maria Novella Freesia Eau de Cologne. Even though it’s a floral fragrance, it’s like smelling sweet, airy freesias from three feet away, thanks to the ozonic notes that give it such a fresh profile. Last but not least is Guerlain Samsara Eau de Parfum. I truly believe the sandalwood here can blend with almost any other fragrance profile, transforming it while emphasizing its best notes. Think of it as that one person who can charm and talk to anyone.
If you don’t want to buy an additional fragrance, look for a scented body lotion or body wash with these notes instead. It can be just as effective at creating a fragrance foundation.
Wearing perfume on the bottom of your pants
This might sound unhinged, but trust me — it’s the ultimate fragrance life hack. I can love a perfume, but once I apply it to my décolletage or neck, it can become overwhelming. A simple workaround is to spray the bottom of your pants instead; the calf or ankle area is the sweet spot.
There’s method to it. Linda Pilkington, founder of perfume brand Ormonde Jayne, recently told me that opening windows can actually help scent disperse when you’re burning candles or using diffusers, as the airflow helps circulate the fragrance. The same principle applies here. As we walk, the scent gradually scatters into the air, giving us occasional, enjoyable wafts rather than an overstimulating cloud of perfume. This trick works particularly well with stronger fragrances, such as ouds and ambers, as well as extraits — perfumes with a much higher concentration of fragrance oil than eau de parfums or eau de toilettes. Oddly enough, people seem to notice my fragrance even more this way.
Keeping bakhoor packets tucked among folded clothes
Scenting rooms with bakhoor — an incense made from wood chips soaked in fragrant oils blended with resins, spices, and musk — is a ritual that originated in the Middle East, where the wood is traditionally burned over charcoal to release its scent. The fragrant plume can be used to perfume almost anything, from damp hair and clothes to the entire house.
One day, I accidentally ordered far too many packets of bakhoor from Amazon, so I started storing them slightly open among my folded clothes. My clothes were lightly scented before I’d even applied my perfume. I love the subtle aroma, like oud-infused laundry detergent. Happily, bakhoor pairs well with most fragrances, but it’s always worth doing a quick test spritz before committing to a new perfume combination.
Fragrance shopping with friends — & testing scents on them
Luckily, my friends are just as fragrance-obsessed as I am and are happy to be my human guinea pigs (or my walking tester strips) when we go perfume shopping. Swapping samples and seeing how scents wear on each other is essential. I’ve often been “nose-catfished,” loving a fragrance at the opening only to dislike the dry down. Having my friends wear a scent and smelling it on them later lets me test it more objectively, without my own judgement getting in the way. Plus, it makes for a fun day out.
Not applying perfume to already worn clothing
Growing up, the mouth-watering scent of ginger, garlic, and spices was always present at home. As delicious as it was, I didn’t like those aromas clinging to me. I tried masking them with perfume, but the cooking smells always lingered in the background. Because of this, I now keep jackets and clothes I plan to wear outside far away from the kitchen to avoid absorbing cooking smells.
In restaurants, that’s harder to avoid, but if the scent on my clothes is particularly strong, I’ll apply Lush’s Dusting Powder to my arms and chest to quieten it. The powders can help mask or cover almost any lingering smell.
Spraying fragrance on book pages
Scent and memory are closely intertwined. At college, during exams, I would spray a specific scent on the pages of my textbooks while studying, and I would go into the exam wearing that same scent. I found I could remember almost everything.
I’ve really found scent to help with my studying and concentration, and it even works if you want to set the mood for reading for pleasure. For this, I would stick to eau de toilettes rather than extraits or perfume oils. You don’t want the scent to be too overpowering (it may distract you from reading if it’s strong), and you don’t want to stain the pages, either.
Avoiding fragrance at bedtime, except for one product
In theory, bedtime fragrance — especially soothing notes like amber and lavender — is a nice idea. The reality for me can be quite different. I avoid fragrance of any type immediately before bed because I want to rest and I know if I wear a fragrance, my mind will be constantly whirring.
If you’re intrigued by the idea of bedtime fragrance, opt for notes such as rosemary, lavender, or sage, which are known for their calming effects. Also, instead of spraying them immediately before sleeping, or onto your skin or pajamas, try spritzing them in the air or using a ceramic diffuser an hour or two before bed to get used to the scent, so the brain doesn’t register it as new stimuli and fixate on it.
That said, scented body wash is the perfect solution. When I shower before bed, it’s like my brain acclimates to the scent, helping me drift off.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
This week: an art teacher working in education who makes $54,304 per year and spends some of it on cheap-o vodka.
If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.We are legally unable to publish any diaries that have been written with the use of AI.
This is a follow-up diary written in 2026. You can read the previous diary here.
Interested in taking our latest Money Diaries survey? We’d love to hear your thoughts here.
Housing Costs: Rent is $1,100 with water included. Loan Payments: Car loan: $185 (I pay back my grandparents) Student loan: $127 Wifi: $50 Car insurance: $204 Electricity: $50–$150 Acorns: $25 (I use it as pet insurance)
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? There was an underlying expectation for me to attend college because I was bright and did well in school. However, there were no real plans in place to get me there, and no financial support. Both of my parents have GEDs and only went to college later in life, so the guidance wasn’t there. My plans to secure financial support through scholarships based on my academic performance were wrecked when, in high school, I became disabled and my working memory deteriorated quickly. My As became Ds and it was difficult for me to focus. As a result, my schoolwork suffered greatly and I wasn’t sure if I would even make it through high school, let alone attend college. My grandparents offered to pay for my college if I went to a community college (they paid for the first year of it, then loans and scholarships paid for the other three). At 18, unsure of what else to do with my life, I enrolled, pretty sure I would fail. And I did fail the first six weeks. I was so ashamed of myself that I buckled down and put my all into passing. I was hesitant to apply for accommodations for my disability because I was afraid they wouldn’t help. But after receiving them, college became much easier and my Ds turned into As once again.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances? Growing up, we didn’t have many productive conversations about money. My parents never really educated me about finances, and I learned through observation. My dad made around six figures but it always felt like we never had enough. We were living paycheck to paycheck because he would waste his money on random things. At various points, he would buy $30,000 motorcycles and then, when he felt poor, he would sell them for around half the price. Toys, action figures, rare comics, and other such nonsense were often bought right when the paycheck came in, but necessities and bills were treated as a second priority. My dad would even ask me for money as a child to cover electric bills and other expenses.
What was your first job and why did you get it? I worked at Home Depot. I was living with my parents and we paid an equal amount of rent. I paid one third, my sister paid another third, and my parents covered the rest. All utilities and food costs were split evenly. I needed money to pay them so I applied to about 30 jobs and picked up the first one that would hire me.
Did you worry about money growing up? For me, having money was something that could never stick and was always going to be taken away. I always felt like we never had enough to cover the necessities and I worried when we would run out of essential items like food. It led to learning to live with less and make do with what we had.
Do you worry about money now? Yes and no. If I spend more than I expect on groceries or buy something for fun, I panic and feel very stressed about it. However, if I had to fix my car and it cost $3,000, I wouldn’t even blink. Money spent for fun or bills being higher than expected makes me worried, but emergencies and basic needs? That is what the hoards of money are for, so it doesn’t worry me too much.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I became responsible for myself the day I graduated high school. That was when I started paying my portion of the rent, being on the lease, covering utility bills, and paying taxes.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. No.
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Day One: Thursday
5:50 a.m. — I threw out my back two days ago and wake up with a pretty bad migraine. The cat decides to be a heating pad and lies on top of me. I don’t feel great, but if I take the day off, I’ll have to write sub plans, so I persevere. Also, I have this silly thing where I like my job, and it puts me in a better mood. I’ve built a life where I’m excited for work. What a gem, I think, as I hobble to the bathroom.
7:10 a.m. — They have me on cafeteria duty this year! This mostly involves standing around and making sure the students leave the cafeteria on time and don’t get into fights. It’s a lot of staring off into the distance. Most of the food served there is some sort of bar or prepackaged item. If students don’t want them, they leave them on the table for someone else to gather up or eat later. I typically pick them up while cleaning up leftover trash. If no one wants the leftover bars or food, I have breakfast. If they do, I’ll eat the breakfast I have set up in my classroom. I got some sort of wholegrain cereal bar today.
7:30 a.m. — I finished breakfast during my planning! Tomorrow will be a half day, so it’s the last real day before break and the last day to submit work. Lots of panicking students are submitting late work today — all of it is due by 2 p.m., and I’m rooting for them! I don’t have a late work penalty, and so far I have half a dozen students who have gone from failing an art class to passing. I’m very proud. I talk to my sister on the phone while grading; it makes the time go by faster.
11:30 a.m. — A student just raised their grade from a 21 to a 96! Nice! While I’m grading, students have the option to work on an art contest or do late work for other classes. Most are doing late work.
2:30 p.m. — I have ramen with American cheese, sriracha, four eggs, and rotisserie chicken. You may think that’s too many eggs, but eggs are the best part of ramen, and I feel like I deserve to indulge. I think about adding six, but the egg ratio seems a little too Gaston to me. As I’m eating, I wish I had added six.
5 p.m. — Since my last Money Diary, I found out that I was misdiagnosed. It turns out there is a (very cute and very small) hole in my brain. I had a lot more neurologic stuff going on than I realized, and I (and doctors) misattributed a lot of symptoms to psychiatric causes when they were neurological. I have had, and still have, migraines almost every day, but I’m aware of that now, so life has gotten easier because I can adapt. I have adapted in very strange ways, one of which is turning off all the lights in my house and having a very dramatic dishwashing session when they need to be done. I feel like Batman with how dark and quiet everything is. I also use the bathroom and shower in the dark now — very Batman themed.
5:30 p.m. — I pull some tarot for my love life for the month ahead. I pull tarot fairly often, particularly when I’m not feeling the best. I’m single now, and while I’ve been enjoying it, kids and marriage are in my long-term plans, so I do feel pressure to find someone to achieve my goals: Five of Swords, Knight of Wands, Five of Wands. Dang it.
7:30 p.m. — I eat three ice cream Drumsticks while playing Bloons Tower Defense Six and watching video essays. I have a migraine and my back hurts (these are my justifications).
8 p.m. — I’m doing a research study on mindfulness meditation and its impact on migraines. I have to meditate for 10 minutes each night to see if it helps with chronic migraines. It’s not, but the study pays $275 if you complete it, and today is the last day!
Daily Total: $0
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Day Two: Friday
7:00 a.m. — It’s the last day before spring break, and I have no faith in holding the attention of my class. Typically, I would play a movie, but my Smartboard (a giant projector on the wall) is busted, so our IT guy is hard at work trying to fix it. The classes are also less than 50 minutes long. Students can either work on an art contest or have free time to do as they please.
7:10 a.m. — I check my email and have like six emails from one parent asking for late work to be accepted next Monday. Grades are due today, and all late work had to be turned in yesterday with district policy, and I SENT OUT LIKE 30 EMAILS SAYING THIS. I’m slightly peeved but send back a polite “sorry, due to district policy…” yadda yadda yadda email to smooth things over.
8:30 a.m. — The parent sent another email saying her student will turn in the work over the weekend. I quickly reply saying that all late work was due yesterday, and grades are due today. She can turn it in, but I’ll not be grading it.
8:45 a.m. — Grading is done! Time to wait for the day to end! I start talking about Teen Titans with my students.
9:30 a.m. — The parent calls to ask why her child can’t turn work in over the weekend. I told her all late work was due yesterday, and grades are due today. I can’t change this. The parent explains that her child will turn in late work over the weekend. I explain that I will not be grading the missing work, as I’m on break. A very loud OOOOOOOH OKAY comes before she hangs up. I have no idea if I succeeded or failed this interaction.
10 a.m. — The day is already done! The students get bagged lunches on half days, and as I make small talk during cafeteria duty, they give me two leftover lunches they didn’t want to toss. Cold cut sandwiches with two fruits and milk — a little juvenile, but pretty good! I submit grades while eating.
11:30 a.m. — I head home to pack and set up my locks and keys so my sister can cat sit for me. Tonight, I’m driving up to Northern Virginia and taking the metro into D.C. Before I leave, I pick up some gas at Costco and some cat food at Food Lion. $41.39
1:00 p.m. — Driving time! I head straight into D.C. I have a friend, H., who lives in the area, so I’m sleeping on his couch while he shows me around. He is also fixing up my computer while I’m up there, so it kind of pays for itself, right? Maybe? I’m trying to justify using this much gas. “WHERE IS YOUR BATHROOM? OMG PLEASE LET ME IN!” is the first thing I say when I pull up, but I’m happy I didn’t have to stop.
3:30 p.m. — We chat for a bit and meet his roommates — they’re all computer science people. I’m pretty computer literate, but I struggle to keep up with what they are talking about. We meet up with some other D.C. friends via the metro. $2.50
4:30 p.m. — We go to the proper inner city of D.C. One of my friends in the group tells me about the best ramen spot in the area; she swears up and down it’s fantastic. I get the tonkotsu ramen, which, by the way, only came with one egg, very lame. I think I might be spoiled, but I didn’t think it was very good. Very large portions, but it better be for $17. Are you for real? There isn’t even a waiter; I order on a screen. Still getting used to D.C. prices. $17.47
6:30 p.m. — We head all the way into D.C. to go bar hopping! $2.50
7:30 p.m. — I’m greeted by the most beautiful sign I have ever seen in my life: women drink for free until midnight. And guess what, it’s before midnight. A vodka cranberry and a vodka peach lychee drink later, and I’m very talkative and having a very good time. It would have been $46 without the discount. D.C. — are you for real? For two drinks?
8:30 p.m. — BAR TWO!!! I walk there with my friends, slightly drunk, and take photos of statues in the city’s center. The music is way too loud, and I feel slightly insecure that I have had no plastic surgery. I get a free pair of sunglasses from some bar trivia thing!
10:30 p.m. — Here’s the corrected version: BAR THREE!! This one is Alice in Wonderland themed. It’s pretty empty; perhaps it’s not late enough, but I’m losing steam. I have a migraine, but the drinking is helping it. Drinks here are like $20 each, so I refuse to pay that much. If I want more alcohol, I can always swing back to the chicks-drink-free-place. I read people’s palms at the bar as an icebreaker; it works well.
1 a.m. — Time to take the metro home! $2.50
1:45 a.m. — H. shows me the chicken restaurant that’s open really late. I get goat and gyro meat; it is the best food I have ever tasted. We don’t even talk while eating; we just shove food into our mouths and drunkenly stare. We walk back to his apartment afterward and hit the hay. $13.20
Daily Total: $79.56
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Day Three: Saturday
6:00 a.m. — I’m awake at 6 a.m. because I’m still on the teacher’s sleep schedule. I can’t get back to sleep. H. isn’t awake. It’s time for awkwardly playing on my phone and trying not to make noise until H. wakes up, and given we were out until 2 a.m., it’s going to be a while.
12 p.m. — After finishing half a book on my phone, H. is finally awake! We head to a store to get the stuff to fix my laptop — I want to get rid of the Linux OS and replace the battery. At the store, I poke at the 2-in-1 laptops, and H. pokes at the discount bin. I buy the cheapest flash drive for the fix-up; we have everything else we need. $9.59
1 p.m. — D.C. part two! We walk around the very underrated Postal Museum, the National Guard Memorial Museum, and the Capital Jewish Museum ($12). $12
4 p.m. — We hop on the metro and head home! $5.90
5 p.m. — We’ve been in the hot sun all day walking, and I don’t feel great. I buy a Big Gulp and plan to fill it with Diet Coke, but in Northern Virginia, apparently, they have the option of getting a gallon of some sort of electrolyte drink instead of only offering soda. I try it out — honestly, it’s not very good, but maybe healthy? Who knows? $2.69
6 p.m. — We indulge in more of the wonderful chicken at the place that I would sell my firstborn to! We also try something called knafeh, which is right next door. As far as I can tell, it is cheese covered in sugar and pistachios and some sort of shredded wheat. The man was so excited that it was my first time buying it (or it was just awkward because we were the only ones in line) that he gave us a coffee for free. $23.20
7 p.m. — My friend fixes my laptop while I take on the very important task of petting the cat and eating salsa.
8 p.m. — Quick gas fill-up before I head home. H. wanted me to stay an extra night, but I have Easter and therapy tomorrow — plus I love driving at night. H. gives me an awkward hug before we leave. It was really fun to see him! $35.44
11:30 p.m. — I put everything away and then pass out.
Daily Total: $88.82
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Day Four: Sunday
6 a.m. — WHY AM I AWAKE?? ARGH!!!!! I try to sleep in a little bit more before I give up and eat ice cream for breakfast.
1 p.m. — Therapy time! We talk a lot about Easter. This is the first year without my grandmother running it due to her passing, and my grandfather had a stroke, so he’s unable to help. Easter feels like the only tie I really have to my Ukrainian ancestry and a very strong connection to her. It feels important for me to get this right. $36.40
10 a.m. — After three-plus calls to my mom without her picking up her phone, she finally answers. I ask if she needs any help for Easter. She has been taking care of my grandfather since his stroke, and while I’m thankful, it’s definitely been hard on her. She is very hard to get a hold of and often just doesn’t show up to plans, not even canceling last minute, but sometimes just ghosting and expecting you to figure out she’s not coming. She says to just come empty-handed and that she will take care of everything. The food will be ready and she’s making salmon for dinner. I boil some eggs just in case because I feel like she might need the help.
2 p.m. — Easter time! I head over to my grandfather’s house, and something is wrong. I told her repeatedly I would be here by 2 p.m. I have no idea where my mother is. After sneaking through the back door, my mom isn’t anywhere to be seen. I help my grandfather use an iPad and put on a history documentary for him. My twin sister and my brother-in-law arrive with some paska and more dyed eggs. After about 30 minutes of poking through the house, my mom emerges. None of the food is cooked. Mom offers to cook salmon and chicken, and try to make a cheese board. There’s no salmon or chicken in the house, and the cheese for the cheese board has mold. I’m pissed.
2:45 p.m. — After a lot of arguing, I give up and go to Food Lion with my brother-in-law to pick up grocery store fried chicken and a Caesar salad kit. Fuck it. He pays because he is the best brother-in-law.
3 p.m. — We all sit down to eat fried chicken and paska. I also spend a lot of time eating Turkish delight. My grandmother and I were the only people who liked it; there is still a huge hoard left in her house. I don’t know if this is a standard Ukrainian thing or something my family does, but we take an egg and split it into many small pieces. Everyone gets a piece, and it’s supposed to bring good luck. It feels good to get that right.
4:30 p.m. — We put away all the leftovers in some disposable Tupperware and send people home. Well, no cooking for the next couple of days!
7 p.m. — I eat leftover Turkish delight, fried chicken, and a whole can of corn for dinner. Wow — I’m being so healthy right now.
5 p.m. — My sister and I talk about moving in with our grandfather after our leases are up. Mom has not been very helpful and isn’t really able to take care of him well. I think it would be better to have more people to watch out for him. If we move in, it would be free rent, and we could use the savings to get him a caretaker. This isn’t a problem that needs to be solved today, but I feel uncomfortable with how much my mum disappears, and I think my grandfather needs more support.
Daily Total: $36.40
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Day Five: Monday
6 a.m. — AHHHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP! I eventually manage to get back to sleep.
10 a.m. — I eat leftover salad and chicken for breakfast and play Balatro. I spend a lot of time on Reddit reading about Botox for migraines. I make sure to take a shower because you’re supposed to avoid hot water afterward. I’m very methodical about washing my hair.
1:15 p.m. — Botox time! I take three tubes to the place. The doctor is happy I’ve been so diligent about tracking the migraines. I had to fail five medications before they would let me get this. I can’t move my face and I don’t like it. I spend a lot of time trying to move my eyebrows and not doing so. There is a disabled person who lets me pet their service animal after I ask. When I leave the building, I wait in the parking lot for a while before I feel comfortable driving. $50
3 p.m. — I talk to a friend from high school for a really long time. He has weird hours, so I never get to hang out with him. I watch him play Helldivers 2 over Discord. He shows pictures of his dog.
5 p.m. — Beach time with a rando! I have an online friend group that meets up in person every so often. Five people were supposed to show up, but only me and some other guy do for the first hour. We sit at a restaurant while he tells me about his children and Oklahoma. He orders a mixed drink and fried pickles; I get nothing. I don’t trust restaurants by the beach to have fair prices. At sunset, another woman joins us, and we dig a very large hole. This is the call of the beach: dig a large hole.
8 p.m. — I head over to my twin’s house. We watch The Pitt and eat salmon burgers and Rolos for dinner, along with a massive amount of popcorn. We try to figure out logistics with Grandpa.
Daily Total: $50
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Day Six: Tuesday
9 a.m. — ARGH, I can’t believe it — oh wait, it’s actually a normal hour to wake up! I have successfully slept in! Time to pet my cat, who is asleep on top of me.
10 a.m. — I scroll through my Instagram. Three of my teacher friends are going to Hawaii this year. I’m jealous. I try to remind myself that I have more medical expenses, less debt, I’m younger than all of my coworkers, and I make less money, but I still feel like I’m failing. I eat Easter leftovers for breakfast.
11 a.m. — Driving: part two! I’m heading out to the middle of nowhere in Northern California. My friend, L. gets a free hotel stay there from his work, and he’s letting me stay. It’s gas time, but I make sure to wait until I get into a more rural area so it’s cheaper. I never worry too much about gas prices as I drive a baby car that gets very good gas mileage. $31.99
4 p.m. — I make a few stops along the way and walk around a few trails. I arrive and spend 20 minutes trying to figure out where the hotel is because L. had to call me to explain the parking situation. Afterwards, we drive to an ABC store to pick up the cheapest vodka possible and a Walmart for snacks: Cheez Whiz, crackers and weird cookie things. L. pays for all the food while I’m trying to figure out how to split the cost. Well, it works in my favor! $3.67
5 p.m. — L. works nights in a factory, so the timing is a little weird for food. I eat Cheez Whiz on crackers for dinner and like 85 cookies. At some point, he orders DoorDash, and I eat half a pizza and a sub. We’re mostly just hanging out and watching Smiling Friends and children’s TV shows. He works night shifts and wakes up at 4 p.m. most days, so this is like morning for him.
12 a.m. — We go for a midnight walk in the woods. I’m kind of nervous, but apparently L. does this all the time (sounds like he’s trying to get me to a secondary location to murder me). I forgot how much I missed him. While we keep up and talk on the phone a lot, I haven’t seen him in person since college. Jeez, that long?
1 a.m. — I eat Cheez Whiz, drink vodka, and listen to L., figuring out that actually his parents were not perfect and he is much gayer than he thought. The Cheez Whiz has been a real star of the show here. Directly into my mouth it goes.
3 a.m. — I help L. set up a Roth IRA, normal 3 a.m. things! We get halfway through, and I fall asleep, but he actually finishes the process. I have been bugging him about this for a year, so I’m glad it stuck!
Daily Total: $35.66
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Day Seven: Wednesday
12 p.m. — I HAVE FINALLY SLEPT IN!! I wake up next to a bunch of junk food wrappers. My brother-in-law, who is watching my cat, has sent me six selfies of him and the cat cuddling with the caption: stealing your bitch.
1 p.m. — L. is finally awake. He’s craving salad. I have eaten so much Cheez Whiz that I have room for no more. L. refuses to let me not eat because I must be hungry. BRO, I ATE HALF A PIZZA, A SUB, AND AN ENTIRE CONTAINER OF CHEEZ WHIZ AND CRACKERS — HOW? It must be because he is tall. I get a surprisingly good juice: mango kale. They have free refills, so I try another one that is rosemary lemonade and hibiscus cranberry. I may be a bit hungover, but it also could be a migraine, or maybe both? $2.70
2 p.m. — My face feels weird from the Botox. We swim in the pool because the hotel shower is broken and it runs cold, and it feels similar-ish. I don’t know, I feel disgusting. I need a nap. I eat several cookies to calm my stomach; this was a bad decision but whatever.
2:30 p.m. — I realize I have a really bad migraine. I always have a migraine, so it takes a while to realize it’s bad. I guess the Botox isn’t working. Add it to the pile. While there are two beds for me to choose from, I fall asleep in the bathtub to avoid sunlight. I hate that my face isn’t moving the way I want it to.
4 p.m. — L. has been playing some video games in the other room. He comes in to offer me half a Philly cheesesteak. I have never felt so much love for this man. I play Co-Op Mode Bloons Tower Defense 6 with him while eating in a completely dark bathroom. This isn’t really what I thought adulthood would look like.
5:30 p.m. — I head back home — it’s about a 4-hour drive! Not a fan of the headlights with a migraine but I love driving at night because it’s so calm.
10:30 p.m. — I definitely hit some traffic on the way home. I get home and immediately pass out and fall asleep with my cat on top of me.
Daily Total: $2.70
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The Breakdown
Conclusion: I think I’m a lot sadder than I thought this week. I’m also more of a party animal than I thought. I tend to think of myself as a bit bookish and nerdy, but I seem to be having a different experience during Spring Break. I also think I should spend more money on others. I have very generous family and friends, and I need to repay that kindness more.
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