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Late summer has a scent all of its own. We might still be slathered in coconutty sunscreen, our skin salty from dips in the ocean, but there’s a whisper of chill creeping in. And what’s that? A hint of pumpkin spice?
Happily, fragrance houses know we’re not quite ready to let go of summer, but there’s something exciting about a new season on the horizon — and their latest launches capture that in-between feeling perfectly.
From Ellis Brooklyn’s Plum Tonic, a moodier take on summer’s fruity fragrances, to Le Monde Gourmand’s Pumpkin Crème, which is practically fall in a bottle, these are the best new perfumes to have on your radar for late summer and beyond.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy or click on something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Estée Lauder’s Glimmer captures the best smells of summer — think heady orange blossom, salty skin, woods, and juicy mandarin — but it’s the way the scent evolves on the skin that sets it apart from your typical summer fragrance. If the first spritz is sunrise, the dry-down is sunset: warm amber, earthy patchouli, and vanilla-esque tonka bean, like pulling on a cashmere sweater by the ocean as the temperature dips.
Estée Lauder Glimmer Eau de Parfum Spray, $, available at Estée Lauder
AllSaints’ fragrance is criminally underrated — just ask Instagram’s perfume enthusiasts — and Sacred Sands is yet another winner from the fashion brand. At first spritz, it opens with a zing of citrusy bergamot and crisp cypress, but after a few moments, especially on the skin, salty caviar, cinnamon-like balsam peru, and incense-infused milk make it warm, enveloping, and seriously expensive-smelling.
AllSaints Sacred Sands Unisex Fragrance, $, available at AllSaints
This is an enchanted woodland, bottled. It opens with crushed green apple leaves and freshly picked rhubarb, but those sweet, fruity notes eventually give way to spicy pink pepper, toasty amber woods, and cozy, skin-like musks. If you like fruit-forward scents but hate that most smell saccharine or juvenile, this boasts a sexy, grown-up edge.
AllSaints Naked Woods Unisex Fragrance, $, available at AllSaints
Calling all PSL obsessives! The latest addition to Le Monde Gourmand’s burgeoning beverage-inspired collection (think Chai Épicé and Lait de Coco) is true pumpkin spice. That’s the top note, of course, but once it settles on your skin, hair, and clothes, comforting musk mingles with creamy sandalwood, earthy nutmeg, and frothy milk, taking it from dessert-like to surprisingly sophisticated.
Le Monde Gourmand Pumpkin Crème Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
We didn’t think Eilish — our most complimented celebrity fragrance — could get any better. Then Eilish Intense landed on our desks. It has the same sweet vanilla, warm spices, and all-encompassing warmth as the OG, but everything is deeper and longer-lasting. The praline-like cocoa and velvety musks are the real standouts, though, adding a richness that far exceeds its affordable price tag.
Billie Eilish Eilish Intense Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
Vanilla, but not as you know it. While some fragrances can veer syrupy and cloying, Vanilla Canyon feels elevated thanks to earthy oakwood, nutty tonka bean, and the almost balsamic undertones of patchouli. Then there’s jasmine, which adds a creamy, velvety layer, while ripe plum gives it a rich, liqueur-like quality.
Phlur Vanilla Canyon Eau de Parfum, $, available at Phlur
At first, this is like taking a sip of an ice-cold Aperol spritz, thanks to a dash of mandarin and sugared musks, but the dry down is richer and broodier, like a shot of boozy, ripe plum aperitif. Powdery iris and citrus notes make it perfect for daytime, while the richer, darker dry-down makes it an equally excellent evening scent.
Ellis Brooklyn Plum Tonic Eau de Parfum, $, available at Sephora
Ever 11 is like biting into a tangy Morello cherry that’s been steeped at the bottom of a strong cocktail — the one thing you savor until the very end. It’s fitting, then, that each note is designed to evoke a different feeling: cherry for calm, vanilla bean for a mood boost, and leather accord for self-assurance. There’s also soothing Peru balsam oil, grounding patchouli, and sprightly pink pepper, capturing a whole spectrum of moods in a single spritz.
Vyrao Ever 11 Eau de Parfum, $, available at Vyrao
It’s rare (excuse us) that the Refinery29 beauty desk can all agree on a fragrance — we have such different tastes, after all — but Rare Beginnings is a surefire winner. There’s something about the sun-baked jasmine and gardenia petals, cozy vanilla bean, and juicy pear nectar that creates the perfect synergy: it’s compliment-worthy, effortlessly wearable, and one you’ll never get bored of.
Rare Beauty Rare Beginnings Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
If you like the initial sugar rush of gourmands — fragrances with dessert-like notes — but find they become cloying throughout the day, you haven’t tried Tonka. Almond oil is the standout note, lending it a frangipane-like feel without ever becoming tooth-achingly sweet. Benzoin adds a clean, skin-like quality that keeps it subtle and so wearable.
If pumpkin spice isn’t your thing, consider Cardamom Latte. It’s just as creamy and sweet, thanks to whipped coconut milk and vanilla cream, but cardamom adds a slightly bitter twist that keeps it from feeling sticky on the skin. Instead, it’s light and carefree with a hint of spice that’ll have people leaning in and asking what you’re wearing.
NEST New York Cardamom Latte Eau de Parfum, $, available at Sephora
Described as a “breezy floral,” Cashmere Muse captures the very best of beach days: salty skin, coconutty tonka that smells just like sunscreen, and freshly squeezed mandarin, alongside warmer base notes of almondy frangipani accord and banana-like ylang-ylang. A solar scent not by name, but by nature.
Kylie Cosmetics Cashmere Muse Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
The second scent in Kylie Jenner’s Mood Stones collection is an airy floral that somehow works for every occasion. Crisp apple, lush rose, heady honeysuckle, and creamy cedarwood come together to smell like diving headfirst into a pile of fresh laundry. It’s clean but still has depth thanks to a generous helping of vanilla absolute.
Kylie Cosmetics Collection Blush Wood Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
Last but certainly not least, Velvet Brew is the moodier, more nuanced fragrance in the line. It’s all thanks to coffee, hazelnut, and plum accord, which make it feel like taking a sip of a strong espresso martini. But grassy patchouli and delicate orange blossom add a touch of lightness, making it easy to wear anywhere and everywhere.
Kylie Cosmetics Velvet Brew Eau de Parfum, $, available at Ulta
The iconic Miss Dior has been reimagined for 2026, but it’s just as enchanting as the airy floral scent we fell in love with all those years ago — this time with a more gourmand twist. Think almondy tonka bean, creamy vanilla, and frothy sandalwood accord. The same honeyed rose centifolia is still there, but it’s less fruity than the most recent iteration, instead taking on a more chypre-like character that feels earthier and deeper.
Dior Miss Dior Eau de Parfum, $, available at Dior
Le Labo has added another city to its growing fragrance dynasty, this time with Shiu 25, inspired by Beijing. Olibanum offers a clean, skin-like quality, while subtly sweet, powdery iris and creamy woods make it an enveloping scent that’s best worn on skin to experience its full, warming effect. Full-size bottles are available starting September 1, exclusively throughout the month. Get it while it’s hot.
Le Labo Shiu 25 Eau de Parfum, $, available at Le Labo
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As the sad beige phase dwindles down, there’s a clear hue that’s rising to the top of fashion’s ranks, and it has major staying power. We’ve seen pops of red show up time and time again, but designers are constantly finding ways to revive the pigment and make it feel more relevant than ever. Most of the trends taking over the streets can be traced back to the runway.
A few years ago, it was The Row’s firetruck sweater that hypnotized the fashion scene. Then, Maximilian Davis invigorated Ferragamo’s red leather on Hug bags and sculptural heels. Most recently, the brightest star was seen on the Fall/Winter 2026-2027 runways in Tory Burch’s collection: a patent leather red pencil skirt, smartly paired with a neutral cardigan tucked into the drop waist and anchored with black pumps and a white bag.
NEW YORK, NEW YORK – JULY 29: Model Ashley Graham is seen walking in Midtown on July 29, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
Red skirts are the superstars of some of the best street-style looks this season. Whether it’s a sharp knee-length design as seen on Tracee Ellis Ross and Ashley Graham, or it’s a shirred and fringed rendition à la Ava Dash and H.E.R., that dopamine-inducing color never seems to fail sartorially.
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA – JULY 24: (L-R) H.E.R. and Liza Soberano attend DreamWorks Animation’s “Forgotten Island” at Arcade Monsters during San Diego Comic Con on July 24, 2026 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for DreamWorks Animation)
If you’re looking for ways to brighten up your own wardrobe, especially as we transition from summer to fall, start with a classic pencil skirt. The timeless silhouette will breathe new life into your office wardrobe. Pair it with a crisp button-down shirt or your favorite autumn sweater for instant street-style-star vibes. Keep your kitten heel sandals in rotation or go sporty chic with sleek retro sneakers.
Ava Dash at Vulture’s Reality Masterminds Celebration held at The Lawn Club on May 07, 2026 in New York, New York. (Photo by Kristina Bumphrey/Variety via Getty Images)
On the other side of the spectrum, you can have fun with voluminous bubble hem red skirts or ruffled designs. Those will take you from brunch to parties and everything in between. Style them with graphic tees, tanks, or coordinating tops.
To make your hunt for the perfect red skirt easier, I’m dropping my faves ahead. From Tory Burch’s viral vibrant runway design to the affordable yet superb quality of Alex Mill, your next red-hot look is just a click away.
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Reality TV competition series have surprisingly manufactured some significant girl groups over the years, from MTV’s Danity Kane to The X Factor’s Little Mix and Fifth Harmony to K-pop group Twice. And their signature styles were often as influential as their music. The latest, greatest girl group to come out of such a show is Katseye. Spawned from “The Debut: Dream Academy” — a real-time performance competition that selected and trained individuals to form a global girl group — the six members of Katseye officially debuted (fittingly with their single “Debut”) in June 2024. And they’ve been breaking boundaries and defying expectations ever since.
The original members (and their fan-dubbed roles) are leader Sophia Laforteza, main vocalist Lara Raj, lead dancer Daniela Avanzini, visual symbol Manon Bannerman, all-rounder Megan Skiendiel, and youngest member Yoonchae Jeung. Though they come from South Korea, the Philippines, Switzerland, and the United States — and have South Asian, Chinese, and Latin American roots — and predominantly sing in English, the group is considered K-pop because of its specific training system.
From distinctive “eras” and viral dance routines (who doesn’t know their Gap denim commercial or “Pinky Up” music video at this point?) to monumental festival debuts and even more surprising hiatuses, Katseye has rocked the world in the two years that it’s existed. To take a deeper dive into the group’s evolving eras and unique fashion aesthetics, I previously spoke to celebrity stylist Katie Qian — who also styles the likes of Tyla, Alysa Liu, and Conan Gray — ahead of Katseye’s Governors Ball debut. Ahead, she gives insight into the girl group’s already-iconic outfits (with a look inside Qian’s camera) and shares what she has in store for them next (in their “Wild” era).
Photos: Jeremychanphotography/Getty Images, Kevin Winter/Getty Images.
While she didn’t work with Katseye straight out of “Dream Academy,” Qian started styling the group in late 2025 for The Beautiful Chaos Tour. There, she joined forces with creative director Humberto Leon and visual director Joao Moraes to craft a distinctive, cohesive look for the members.
“Being thrown into the Katseye world, there’s just a lot to learn because there’s so many girls and a lot of creatives involved. It’s been really fun developing that aesthetic for them,” Qian tells Refinery29. “Humberto and I connected and we were really excited to work together in the ‘Gnarly’ era,” Qian says.
This era, or musical chapter, includes singles like “Gnarly” and “Gabriela” along with The Beautiful Chaos Tour. At the time, the girls were styled in bold black ‘fits. “‘Gnarly’ was a lot of dark tones, a lot of leather, and hardware. I would say it’s more of a dark and edgy era,” Qian adds. Think: black leather sets, lots of plaid, animal prints and fur, grommets, pinstripe suits, denim, and fiery reds.
But there’s a big distinction for Qian when styling for a tour versus a music video versus a red carpet. “For tour, there’s just a lot more to consider when we are creating the looks. These girls are dancing, doing insane choreography, they’re doing stunts. So when we’re creating the tour looks, it’s really functionality first and it needs to be really performance-friendly,” Qian explains. “And the looks also need to withstand the test of time if they’re dancing for two hours every single night for a few months.”
Photos: Katie Qian.
Post-tour, the next big styling moments came at the top of 2026 with Spotify’s annual Best New Artist Party and the 68th Grammy Awards, where the group gave a glimpse of departing from its previous era’s dark palettes. “I definitely am always just on the lookout for designers I think would be a good fit for Katseye. It’s definitely a niche. I’m looking for specific people who are able to create a bunch of different looks that look cohesive together,” Qian explains.
For the Spotify nominees’ red carpet looks, the members stunned in crystal-adorned mermaidcore designs from luxury Lebanese designer Georges Hobeika. Each member wore a distinctive gown or matching set in silver, pale pink, or deep green, creating the effect of a glamorous fairy tribe.
Then for the Grammys red carpet, Qian followed a similar formula, pulling from one designer (Ludovic de Saint Sernin) and focusing on the same colors and fabrics (white lace and leather, plus silver crystal mesh) across the six members for a cohesive girl group look. “For award shows, we just keep it more refined usually because on the carpet, I feel like things translate completely differently than if it’s in a video or in concept photos that we’re taking,” Qian explains, adding: “We just try to make all of them look nice standing next to each other. It has to be a bit more refined and sophisticated looking, and not too overwhelming.” (Though for their actual Grammys “Gnarly” performance, they dressed in accordance to the era with Kim Possible-esque utilitarian costumes.)
Then in a surprising turn of events, it was announced on February 20 that Manon would be taking a hiatus to focus on her mental health. But with a full schedule of music video drops and festival season on the docket, the remaining five members were still ready to give us great performances and even greater looks.
Their Lollapalooza Chile and Festival Estéreo Picnic performances in March still tied to the “Gnarly” aesthetic and era, but focused more on metallic blues, bold ketchup and mustard combos, and animal print rather than head-to-toe black. But then, we entered a completely new era.
The ‘Pinky Up’ music video had this overarching tea party but made rave and chaotic kind of vibe.
— Katie Qian
On April 9, Katseye released their next single and music video, “Pinky Up,” which perhaps catapulted the group most into the cultural zeitgeist. The upbeat song and quick-paced choreography meshed with outlandish costumes, creating a viral moment.
“Music videos are my favorite because we can go really crazy and conceptual with the looks. For ‘Pinky Up,’ I felt like we could make all of our wildest dreams come true, because although they are doing choreography, it’s not live,” Qian says. “There’s also a concept for a music video, so it’s really fun to tell a story with the looks.
“The ‘Pinky Up’ music video had this overarching tea party but made rave and chaotic kind of vibe. It’s just really vibrant, a lot of layering, and really kitschy and maximal,” Qian explains. “But then obviously we take each girl’s preferences into consideration, and they get to pick which looks they wear.”
This truly felt like the first time each member got distinctive looks that really stood apart from each other and were as dynamic as their personalities with lots of color, texture, and quirky accessorizing. Aside from one scene where the group wears the exact same Fembot-inspired outfits and blonde wigs, each girl wore multiple looks just as out-there as the next. Qian shares: “I think the looks from the ‘Pinky Up’ music video are my favorite. I just felt like they have character to them, and it’s like diving into a whole new world because that was the first peek of their new era.”
Photos: Katie Qian.
This era came just one day before the group’s Coachella debut where they got to perform the immediate-hit song, donning Alice in Wonderland-coded pastel striped and polka-dotted bra and short sets during Weekend 1, and Victoria’s Secret Angel-coded nude and pink lingerie looks for Weekend 2. This was just the start for their monumental “Pinky Up” era and aesthetic.
“The first weekend of Coachella was kind of psycho tea party vibes. And for the AMAs, we had this plushy concept. And now for Gov Ball, we’re doing something that really dives into this polka dot concept that we have been exploring in the ‘Pinky Up’ era,” Qian explains. To get the aesthetic down, Qian brought in Vietnamese brand La Lune to create the statement-making looks for all of these performances.
Photos: Katie Qian.
Since Governor’s Ball, Katseye released their single and music video “Animal” in July where we got a peek into a moodier, businesscore aesthetic (similar to “Gnarly”) for the upcoming “Wild” era. In August, the group also announced a short hiatus for Sophia’s health before the four reamaining members performed at a couple of music festivals, wearing looks that felt like a hybrid of “Pinky Up” pastels and prints with contrasting “Wild” blacks.
“My favorite part of the styling process is probably just getting to realize all these crazy visions that we have in our heads. Humberto and I will just be chatting on the phone like: ‘What should we do that’s never been seen before?’ Qian shares. At the time of speaking with the stylist, she couldn’t divulge much about the next era. “For Wild, I don’t know yet, actually. I can’t say just yet, but I’m sure that Humberto and Joao are thinking of some really fun ideas for us to explore in the ‘Wild’ Era.”
And with Katseye’s documentary Wild Hearts releasing today, their EP Wild launching on August 14, plus a world tour kicking off on September 1, we’re in for an era upgrade and a lot more wild style.
Look out for Refinery29’s upcoming shopping guide to get Katseye’s look, according to Qian, whether you’re attending their WildWorld Tour or channeling a bold and wild fall.
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Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
This week: A manager working in conservation who makes $50,000 per year and spends some of it on a Vera Bradley ID zip case.
If you’d like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.We are legally unable to publish any diaries that have been written with the use of AI.
Editor’s Note:This diary was written in 2026 and is a follow-up diary.You can read the previous diary from 2023 here. And the previous diary from 2024 here.
Interested in taking our latest Money Diaries survey? We’d love to hear your thoughts here.
Occupation: Manager Industry: Conservation Age: 36 Location: Indianapolis, IN Salary: $50,000 Joint Income/Financial Setup: Joint income is around $115,000; it depends on my spouse’s hours. My partner and I have one joint checking account; we both contribute to it each month to cover our mortgage, utilities, groceries, and daily family incidentals. We each have our own checking, savings, credit cards, and loans that we are individually handling. I will be tracking my individual spending as well as our joint spending for this Money Diary. Assets: $79,692.27 (HY Savings: $2265.15, Checking: $300, Retirement: $66,451.62, Equity half: $10,675.50). I know in my past diaries people didn’t like that I halved mortgage and equity since that wouldn’t really be the case if my partner and I split; but it is how I have calculated my net worth for years, so I’m gonna do me. Debt: $149,854.18 (Auto lease: $1,995.04, Mortgage half: $143,650.89, Credit cards: $4,208.25) Paycheck Amount (Every two weeks): $1,500 Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: $2,600. I live with my husband, B., and two children, O. (who is six) and A. (who is two). This is paid out of our joint account. Loan Payments: Car lease: $500 (I’m planning to buy out my lease before it terms later this year) Energy/Gas: Average $75; fluctuates with the seasons (paid out of joint). Electricity: Average $185 fluctuates with the seasons (paid out of joint). Phone/Disney+: $40 (I pay this to my parents for my phone and I cover Disney+, Hulu, and ESPN+ for my whole family; parents, brother, brother/SIL, and my family) (B.’s phone is paid for by his work) Netflix: $8 Health & Dental Insurance: $500 — deducted from my partner’s paycheck H.S.A Contributions: ~$140 deducted pre-tax (my partner has auto deductions set up from their paycheck) Internet: $75 (my partner pays this)
Other Expenses: Chewy Dog Food: $52 (every five weeks) Trash: $119 (paid quarterly out of our joint account) Pest Control: $180 (paid quarterly out of our joint account) Car Insurance: $1,500 (paid every six months out of our joint account)
Weekly Expenses: Daycare: $150 After School Care: ~$50 (we pay what we use so this can vary depending on schedules. This week, I ended up paying more because the system is glitching, but that will simply pay us ahead).
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes. Both of my parents are college graduates, both the first in their families (I think my dad’s oldest brother has an associate’s degree but I don’t know if he got that before my dad finished his bachelor’s degree or not), and both have since received their master’s degrees in their respective fields as well. My mother also worked at a college before having us kids and then again once my youngest brother was in elementary school. I attended one college my freshman year in the hopes of receiving a tuition exchange, as my mother worked at another local college. That didn’t pan out so I ended up transferring to the college my mom works at and finishing school there. While my tuition at the school my mother worked at was paid due to her employment, I still took out loans for housing for three years. I lived at home during my senior year to save money.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances? I can’t recall any specific conversations per se, but I remember being taken to the bank at a young age to set up a savings account (we got dinosaurs for making deposits — as a kid, who could ask for a better incentive!). I also remember participating in a club/class that was a mock stock market class while I was homeschooled in elementary school. I remember nothing specific about that class other than that I took it, though. I learned more through watching my parents manage their money from afar.
What was your first job and why did you get it? I started babysitting at the age of 12 and became a certified babysitter by the time I was 14. My first tax-paying job was at a local T-shirt shop in town when I was a senior in high school. I got that job because I had dropped out of all my extracurricular activities senior year and my parents said I had to do something. I loved the job and ended up working there several summers into college.
Did you worry about money growing up? I didn’t. If there were family struggles, I didn’t know about them. I have a general idea of what my dad made when I was younger now, which was somewhere in the mid-$90K range. I know as he climbed through a few companies, he was able to leverage his skills for higher pay. We were comfortably upper-middle class. My mother stayed home with us after my first brother was born and she homeschooled us all once we got to school-age. I was homeschooled until I went to sixth grade and my mom stayed home until my youngest brother was in fourth grade. We were blessed enough to have more than we needed on my dad’s job alone during these times.
Do you worry about money now? Yes. Very much. I recently left my previous position, in a move that I didn’t want to make but felt forced to. This meant I had to take a significant pay cut, which will probably set me back around three years in salary. I’m in my third week of work at this new location and so far it has been great, but the pay is a big question mark. I should get my first paycheck within this week, so right now I’m not certain what my paycheck will look like. The nice thing is that I’m now salaried and my pay will be stable from pay period to pay period. There is also now the question of my commute, which has tripled despite me working from home two days a week now. Lots of question marks so far!
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? Other than staying on my parents’ insurance until 26, around 23 I moved out on my own and handled all of my own bills. Currently, our safety net is our savings, then our parents. All three sets of parents (my parents, FIL & Step-MIL, and MIL) would help us out if we were in a pinch and have offered many times prior when we needed it.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes. My parents paid for our wedding. Also, my parents typically gift us money for Christmas each year and we get varying amounts of cash from my husband’s parents for holidays and birthdays.
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Day One: Tuesday
6:25 a.m. — My final alarm goes off and I get up and head to the shower to start my day. We had a rough night last night because we had storms and some tornadoes go through our area; the kids slept fine but one of our dogs has extreme storm anxiety so she was a wreck most of the night and kept us up. After my shower, I get the kiddos, A. and O., up and they snuggle in my bed with B. for a little while I get dressed in a floral button down and jeans.
7:10 a.m. — We’re on our way to school and sitter drop-off. Most mornings I take our Kindergartener to school and B. takes our two-year-old to the sitter. We get to school right when the doors open, so that’s a quick process.
7:45 a.m. — I make a quick detour on my commute to a traveling coffee truck which is set up perfectly along my route this morning. Normally, I don’t get to stop except on Thursdays when they’re scheduled to be set up at a hospital on my route; on Tuesdays they don’t have a set location so this was a blissful happenstance. I get a cold brew with a small splash of cream; something that should be easy but this coffee truck is the only place that consistently gets the “small” splash correctly. It’s simple and delicious. $8
8:30 a.m. — I’m the first one to arrive at the office, which has been typical so far into this job. This is my third week, and while the workday officially begins at 9 with the commute time, it doesn’t make sense for me to go back home after dropping off my kiddo, so I just head in and get there whenever. This office is wonderfully flexible and I have so far enjoyed the people and the work I’m able to do with them. I settle in. I get an email notification that our son’s after-school care weekly payment is due (in the weekly expenses). My coworkers, who are in the office today, start arriving around 9:15 a.m. and we quickly catch up and share our storm stories from the night before.
12:00 p.m. — I take a break to make my lunch. I have tomato soup and dry ramen noodles for texture. I took this job after leaving my previous position after nearly 15 years. While it was not what I wanted to do by any means, I loved the people and the work; circumstances changed and it felt like I didn’t have a choice. I had previously been doing two jobs and it was at a point those jobs needed to be separated; I made it clear to my boss which of the two positions I wanted but I felt that was ignored, and I was offered the opposite. I was informed that was my only option if I was to stay. I believe the offer was made with the hope of me staying out of loyalty. I chose to leave as I didn’t think it was fair after 15 years that my opinions on my own position weren’t considered or shared with the board of directors. It has been a rough year so far.
4:00 p.m. — The workday ends and I head on my way to pick up my kids. We have an evening T-ball game tonight for my oldest, so we are boogying as fast as we can to get going as we have to get home, get O. dressed, get snacks and get to the ballfield ASAP.
7:15 p.m. — T-ball finished, delightful chaos as usual. A. got to play with a new friend of hers at the field and we got to visit with three of the five grandparents. Since it is so close to bedtime, we capitulate and stop at Taco Bell for a quick dinner. $18.30
8:45 p.m. — Everyone is fed and in bed, including B. and me. Hopefully, we have a full night’s sleep. (Reader, as expected, this did not happen).
Daily Total: $26.30
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Day Two: Wednesday
6:30 a.m. — After a rough night of both dogs and kids being up multiple times, it is time to get up and get everyone motivated. Thankfully, I work from home on Wednesdays, but everyone else has to get to where they are going. Kids are finally up and fed, and we are out of the house and in place just in time. I’m wearing a T-shirt and jeans, and a fluffy sweater because it is pretty chilly here today.
11:00 a.m. — I scheduled a grocery pickup this morning so I’m out of the house and picking that up ($172.41 from our joint spending). Then head back home for lunch and more work. I also do lots of laundry and empty the dishwasher during my day when I have a chance. $172.41
2:00 p.m. — Picked up my son from school for early release; get home and settle in O. with some books so I can get back to work. I also realize that we were missing several items from our grocery order and request those to be refunded. ($23.65 refunded to the joint account).
4:45 p.m. — I pick up A. from the sitter after my workday ended. I realize I have two more items that I didn’t get with my grocery order and request those refunded, too. ($5.41 refunded to our joint account). We get home and the kids play while I lounge around for a bit and do some cleaning. B. gets home later than usual tonight, so dinner is a bit of ‘choose your own adventure’ for us. We play with the dogs and snuggle the chicks. (Oh, I totally forgot to mention that we not only have two dogs but we recently added three chickens to our home. We are raising them for eggs and once they are a little bigger, they will move outside into the coop that B. is building. Currently, they are living in a pen in our garage and we are loving the tiny chicken snuggles and the chaos that they bring.)
9:30 p.m. — Kids are in bed. B. and O. spent the evening building with Lego, so I put A. to bed tonight. I’m snuggled into bed and playing a dumb game on my phone while B. makes himself a very late dinner. I turn on my current rewatch of Star Trek: The Next Generation and settle in for silly space adventures. Love me some Commander William T. Riker. In the hope of a better night’s sleep, I pop my earplugs in and drift off.
Daily Total: $172.41
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Day Three: Thursday
6:30 a.m. — Up a little later than usual and in the shower. O. got himself up with his Yoto alarm and greets me at my bathroom door, scaring the bajeezus out of me! O. asks if he got up early enough for pink donuts. He has been asking all week, but hasn’t gotten up early enough to go get a treat, so this morning he was a self-starter. I’m dressed in jeans and a fleece sweatshirt. B. and O. head out for breakfast treats. A. and I take a leisurely approach to the morning since I don’t have to be in the office until 9. We enjoy our coffee and “coppee milk” in our vintage diner tea cups and chat about all the interesting things that two-year-olds know. Then we get her dressed, put in her two pigtails, and tell the chickies to have a good day and get in the car.
12:00 p.m. — I have been settled in at my desk for a while now and was the only person in our office until after 10:30. I’m highly considering moving my laptop into our conference room because work is being done on the building right outside of my window, and they’re hammering on the wall. It’s not the easiest way to concentrate on work. One of my coworkers forgot their lunch so they suggest we all hop in the car and head to Sweetgreen. I get a guacamole greens bowl with tofu. $17.49
3:45 p.m. — Head out for my daily commute home. I only have to get A. this afternoon. O. is being picked up by my dad and they’re getting dinner, and going to see a program with a Benjamin Franklin reenactor at our local college as part of the celebration of the 250th anniversary of the US. So it is just A. and I for a while until B. gets home from work. We get lots of snuggles and giggles in.
8:30 p.m. — O. gets home from his evening with grandad. He is disappointed that A. is already in bed, but is happy to play for a while with just me while B. works on finishing our chicken coop. After a while of play and some reading, O. heads to bed and B. and I shortly follow as well.
Daily Total: $17.49
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Day Four: Friday
6:30 a.m. — Finally a night of pretty good sleep! Kids are in our bed and we snuggle for a few minutes before getting up and getting ready for the day. O. asks to be a ‘lunchboxer’, so I grab a Lunchable from the fridge for him. He doesn’t often ask to bring his lunch, so I try to keep a few of these on-hand for a quick grab since he usually makes the request last minute before we leave for the day. B. takes A. to the sitters and I take O. to school. I’m in a T-shirt and sweatpants to start my day.
8:00 a.m. — I sit down to my laptop at home. Friday is another work-from-home day for me, so I can start early and finish early if I get everything done. I check and I can see that my first paycheck hit my bank. It is more than I anticipated so that is great, while it is still a large-ish pay cut from what I was making prior, but it is not as bad as I worried it would be. I work through my budget adjustments and then realize I have plenty of room to do some ordering for things for A.’s room. We recently moved her into her own room after the kids had shared since she was around eight months old. I am still working through decorating it and making it something she can grow into. I also get some groceries delivered to make up for the things that got left out of my other order. $60.07
10:15 a.m. — Got a call from school that O. is having tummy trouble. Head out to pick him up. He is in a jovial mood when I get him, but since he told the school he was having bathroom issues he has to go home. He says he is glad I came to keep him company. Get home and get settled back in for work and O. watches some Star Wars show on Disney+. O. had requested donuts since he was missing a friend’s birthday party at school today. I had already been planning on getting donuts for the weekend so I go ahead and order those for delivery from our local donut shop. $27.62
3:45 p.m. — Wrap up the work day. Swing by the bank to get the cash for our sitter $150 (in weekly expenses) and head to pick up A. After picking A. up, O. says his belly feels bad and he wants a barf bag for the ride home. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to use it and is feeling better, but tired when we get home. I let O. play a little more of his video game because A. said she wanted to watch, and O. tries to teach her how to play, which is very sweet. O. has recently become obsessed with Star Wars and my brother got him a Lego Star Wars video game for Christmas, which has been a huge hit. While the kids do that, I start working on a travel Lego case idea I found on Pinterest because I am sick of free-floating Legos in the back seat.
5:45 p.m. — B. gets home from work and heads outside to work on the coop for a while, with the help of O. We end up having quesadillas for dinner and B. picks the family movie for the evening. We wind up watching Man Of The House on Disney+. It’s quite the ’90s throwback. We ended up letting the kids stay up way later than usual, but now everyone is snuggled into bed and lights are out. I stay up wayyyyyyy too late just scrolling on my phone.
Daily Total: $87.69
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Day Five: Saturday
6:15 a.m. — A. is screaming, “Mommy come get me!” from her bedroom. Not upset screaming, just attention screaming. I grab her and hope to settle her into our bed to snuggle and go back to sleep. That doesn’t happen; she instead crawls all over me and asks for snacks and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse+, and on and on and on. She finally gets down and asks her dad to take her to the living room. Saturday is my day to sleep in, so B. takes A. to the living room. I hear O. shortly after I get up and follow them out.
12:15 p.m. — I got two extra hours of sleep and after getting up at 9:00 a.m. I make my coffee and have a slow start to my morning. We gear up and get ready to head to O.’s T-ball game. I get dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, and a sweater again since it is chilly, as well as my team hat. Our T-ball league gives all the teams names after the pros, so each year I buy myself a hat for the team O. is on. Armed with snacks and bubbles for A., we head out. We meet up with nana and grandfather at the ballfield and enjoy a good game. O. was excited to tell us that he was going to try to hit the ball off the pitch both times he bats, and how he will do this. I have been pleased with his effort this season; he is willing to learn and be a good teammate, which has been very fun to watch.
5:00 p.m. — I get a call from my mom about dinner tonight; they are inviting us over to watch the Kentucky Derby. We have already started cooking so I pivot and invite them over since we have plenty. We do a quick clean of our house, mainly to wrangle the toys into the playroom and clean off the whole table since I have been using that as my workspace. They come over for burgers, fried potatoes, and my mom made some mac and cheese. Then we watch a very exciting race and cheer very loudly for the FIRST FEMALE horse trainer to win the derby! Let’s hear it for women in sports!
8:00 p.m. — My parents leave and we are gearing up for bedtime. O. asked earlier in the week if he could put A. to bed and we forgot last night, so we offer him the opportunity to do her bedtime tonight. I get her changed and ready and send them into her room to read a book after bedtime kisses. It lasts about six minutes before I can hear negotiations taking place with A. yelling, “don’t leave, O!” and O. trying to tell her he is done. I go in and the lights are still on, so clearly they weren’t headed for bedtime. I get the lights turned off, the sound machine on, and the night light on and let O. and A. snuggle for a bit and sing to them before O. says he is done. I send him on his merry way and finish up bedtime for A.
9.00 p.m. — O. is headed to bed with B. I start reading a library book, And Now, Back to You by B.K. Borison, on my Kindle that’s due back in a few days. I don’t get very far reading it before I switch to scrolling and B. comes in for bedtime.
Daily Total: $0
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Day Six: Sunday
6:45 a.m. — Another early wake-up for A. at around 6:45 a.m. B. grabs her and puts her in our bed. O. has joined us, too. A. leaves our bedroom to go play. She is usually pretty good at self-entertaining (this comes back to bite me). We snuggle for a little bit then O. and I get up and let B. sleep in.
8:15 a.m. — We walk into the kitchen and see the egg carton on the floor. A. has taken it off the counter. I check the carton and there are 11; this was a full carton before. I speak to A. about not playing with food and then ask her where the other egg is. She tells me it is in the playroom, but says, “It not broken, mommy.” Thankfully, it was on our indoor/outdoor rug — but it absolutely is broken. A. is sorry, and says she won’t do it again. O. decides he wants to watch some cartoons and I make my coffee and get the kids breakfast. A. finds some chapstick and wants to use her “wips”. This again ends in disaster as she uses it on the floor, on a Polly Pocket, and on a picture of her cousins.
3:00 p.m. — We have an exceedingly lazy day today. The kids play and I read most of my book. B. plays games on his phone. A. is up early from her nap and snuggles, and watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with me while I read. I order a Target delivery since we need diapers to take to the sitter’s tomorrow for A. $45.84
7:30 p.m. — Kids are both in bed and snoring. We had a little bit of a rough evening: the kids both threw fits when they were asked to clean up the playroom. But everyone rounded the corner for dinnertime and we had early bedtimes all around.
8:30 p.m. — I climb into bed and finish my book. Very cute, enjoyed the sweet relationship featured, and while not super steamy, there was just enough for a quick read. B. is in bed and we are both scrolling on our phones; I am looking through grocery lists and planning for our week. Neither of us is too sleepy, so B. turns on a movie. I promptly fall asleep after that. (Also as note, I did not change out of my PJs today — pure lazy bliss!)
Daily Total: $45.84
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Day Seven: Monday
6:20 a.m. — I am up and in the shower. O. got himself up again this morning and is sitting in his room when I go to check on him. A. is a slow wake this morning but then is out and about and coloring with O. in the living room while we get ready. I get dressed in green linen pants and a navy and white polka dot button down for work since I am in the office today. I flip the coffeemaker on, and I’m so thankful that I prepped it last night before bed. We are just about ready and out the door when I realize O. hasn’t taken his inhaler today and he has already been coughing up a storm. I run back in and search to no avail. I tell him on the way to school to go see the nurse, as she has one of his inhalers on hand. After dropping him off I top up on gas and head to work. $50.01
8:30 a.m. — At the office and get right to work building my brand new office chair. Very excited to not be sitting at a glorified kitchen chair. Everyone else slowly rolls in. I also put in an order for batteries, a teacher appreciation gift, and a new Vera Bradley ID case. I had forgotten how much I loved those in college and something like that still makes sense for me as a daily carry. $36.36
11:15 a.m. — We have our standing department meeting and one of our leadership team informs us that she has turned in her notice and will be leaving the staff in early June. I am sorry to hear this, but also understand since I too recently left a job I loved. She and I had actually had a preexisting relationship. I will definitely miss working with her.
1:45 p.m. — I see a reminder that my son’s elementary school choir group is singing the national anthem at a minor league baseball game this Friday, so I text B. about getting tickets to go. He is all for it so I hop online through the fundraising link and get us three lawn tickets; thankfully, A. is still free. $49.74
4:30 p.m. — Kids and I are home now. They want to play ‘car’, which means they sit in the front seat of the turned-off car and pretend to drive. O. cleaned out the backseat so I could sit there. He lasts all of three minutes before he realizes his friend is also outside and he runs across the street to their house with promises that he is just going to say hi. He ends up staying over there for a while, so A. and I finish playing ‘car’ then head into the garage to visit the chickens. O. brings his friend back over to ours to play for a bit before dinner. They run all over the front yard, help themselves to popsicles and have a grand old time before his friend gets called home for dinner.
5:45 p.m. — B. arrives home and we all head in to start making our dinner. I also get to hanging the curtains I got for A.’s room. Chicken patties and fries for dinner. We enjoy chatting about everyone’s day. I also place a grocery order to pick up later this week (we will be charged at pickup). A. is in bed around 8, but unhappy about it and crying. I am not pleased with the new curtains; they aren’t as room-darkening as I had hoped. After I leave A.’s room, I do a return to Target for those. I will get $24.40 refunded. I look through Amazon for another option and find something in a similar color that promises full blackout; I add new sketchbook for O. and some water bottle straws. $48.50
9:15 p.m. — I take a bath and start reading another book by an author I will be seeing in person at an event later this week. I can hear A. still crying; B. goes in to calm her down. During that process, O. opens his sister’s door and tries to ask his dad something and wakes A. I get out of the bath, B. leaves A.’s room, she is still screaming, and O. starts to get ready for bed. We have a talk with O. about not going into his sister’s room after bedtime since he woke her up. B. puts O. to bed and we let A. cry for a while until she falls asleep. I hate doing that, but she was clearly overtired and won’t stay asleep if we stay in her room with her. B. comes to the bedroom and showers. Our younger dog is also in our room, which doesn’t bode well since we expect storms overnight. We are finally all tucked in and I turn on a sleep story on Calm. Fingers crossed the night isn’t too rough.
Daily Total: $184.61
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The Breakdown
Conclusion: This is my third time writing a Money Diary. I always enjoy doing the narrative portion as I do track all of my expenses on an app already. This was a pretty typical week, for the most part. Most of my spending is on groceries and gas, so that all made sense. I have also gotten better about actually returning things that don’t work for us and making sure I am getting refunded for groceries that aren’t either of good quality or aren’t actually part of our order. With money being tighter for us, not just because of my job change, but also because of the current economic state, I’m more anxious around our money than normal but trying to make easy changes that make sense for our family.
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Content Warning: This article includes discussion of eating disorders.
Ariana Grande is currently the internet’s main character — but it’s for a pretty distressing reason. Over the past several years the Petal singer and Academy Award-nominated star of Wicked has been everywhere. But recently, the conversation around Grande hasn’t been about her performances or her latest album, but rather her body and increasing concerns over her health as well as speculation that the singer may be grappling with an eating disorder.
This isn’t anything new. In 2024, conversations around Grande’s body began to swirl during press for the Wicked franchise, after Grande and co-star Cynthia Erivo were photographed looking noticeably thinner; causing people to speculate on the reasons for the pairs’ weight loss. In 2025’s Wicked:For Good, Grande looked even more frail. More recently, videos of Grande performing onstage during her Eternal Sunshine world tour looking malnourished elicited further comments of concern from fans online, culminating in a furor on July 31 when Grande released the music video for “Petal,” the title song off her latest album of the same name.
In the video, Grande plays a very clear version of herself; an auditioning actress named Pepper who’s repeatedly told she’s not good enough and needs to change, tweaking herself with every audition to fit the clearly unattainable expectations of the industry. Grande appears throughout the video looking thin and frail, most noticeably in one scene where she dons a black bodysuit reminiscent of Sandy in Grease. Since its release, the comments of the video have been flooded with concern from fans, writing: “It’s not about wanting the old Ariana back. It’s about wanting her to be healthy.” Another fan commented: “Seeing her ribcage and clavicle is truly terrifying. I hope she gets the help she needs soon or at least someone close to her steps up.”
Shortly after the video was released, Grande’s team issued a statement revealing that the pop star will be stepping back from the spotlight after her current tour and dropping out of co-starring in the previously announced stage production of Sunday in the Park with Georgealongside Jonathan Bailey. In a statement to People, a representative for Grande said: “Ariana will be taking a step back from visibility after she completes the Eternal Sunshine Tour. She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny,” the rep continued. “This tour has been a beautiful experience for her. She loves her fans and has loved every minute of this tour so much.”
Needless to say, it’s complicated — and people online are divided. The past several weeks have seen fans, trolls, and fellow celebs alike take to the internet to share their thoughts on Grande’s health and body, with comments ranging from genuine concern to insensitive statements that she should “just eat a cheeseburger” and debates over whether or not we should be talking about Grande’s body at all.
On August 1, model Tess Holliday took to Instagram to share her opinion on the conversation, asking people to retire “the public body commentary era.”
Around the same time, The Good Place actress Jameela Jamil took to social media to share her concerns for the star, replying to a post about the latest video, writing: “This poor woman is possibly dying right in front of us,” before criticizing her team as “irresponsible” for making decisions that clearly emphasize her small frame. Jamil was quickly criticized for her comments, before doubling down; emphasizing that it’s a complicated situation, but emphasizing that not saying anything means “we run the risk of normalizing that image to hundreds of millions of teenage girls, kids and even impressionable adults consuming her content.”
Actress & advocate Jameela Jamil made a comment of concern on Ariana Grande’s appearance in her recently released ‘Petal’ music video. Do you think the discourse is valid?
So, how should we be talking about Ariana Grande? It’s not so clear cut. With the help of experts and people dealing with the complexity of eating disorders personally, we sift through the discourse and its dangers.
Should talking about Grande’s body be off limits? The answer requires nuance.
For dietitian, author and the writer behind the Rethinking Wellness newsletter, Christy Harrison, this conversation swirling around Grande isn’t necessarily all that new. As any person, especially women, knows, celebrity bodies, especially celebrity female bodies, have always been heavily scrutinized.
And while often unfair, it makes sense that these people would be topics of conversation, given the role modern celebrities and their images play. “They’re held up as symbols of beauty,” Harrison tells Refinery29. “These images are not just a person’s own.” Instead, these celebrity images are carefully manufactured by record labels, PR teams and other facets of the celebrity image-making machine to be viewed as idealized beauty standards or a goal that fans should strive to and want to emulate – at least to the point of purchasing what they’re selling; be it concert tickets, beauty lines or lifestyle.
It’s not just concern for her, it’s concern for ourselves and the fear that the beauty standard is shrinking to ever-smaller proportions in a way that I think we fear that’s going to become what’s expected of us as women.
Christy Harrison – dietitian & writer, Rethinking Wellness
“There’s always this dynamic, there is always this conversation between what celebrity culture and Celebrities Inc. is pushing out there and then how the public is receiving that and responding,” Harrison says. Essentially, these images are being put out to be consumed, so it’s natural that consumers would have thoughts about them. “If this is what’s swirling around in the culture, if this is what’s publicly being put out there as someone’s image, I think the public has a right to a discourse about it,” Harrison adds.
For Harrison, what is different about the current conversation around Grande from those of celebrities in the past, is the polarization in reactions online; a reality Harrison says is partly due to social media algorithms, which prioritize hot takes for virality instead of nuance.
Another key difference for Harrison? “Ariana Grande is very emaciated.”
While Harrison emphasizes that we don’t know the specificity of Grande’s health, as she’s not shared anything publicly, “bodies that dramatically thin — we’re not talking about standard celebrities – we’re talking about this level of thinness that is concerning I think to many people; it raises alarm bells because of its association with sickness, stress, it makes it seem like there’s something going on…I think that’s part of what has created this sort of heightened moment about the discourse around her body. People are understandably feeling concerned for her, and there’s alarm bells going off that something isn’t right.”
We don’t need to know Grande’s medical history to know she’s clearly going through something — and we need to discuss that with care
While Dr. Courtney Simpson, Director of the Eating Disorders Centre at the Evidence Based Treatment Center of Seattle, agrees with Harrison about not speculating on an individual’s health, she points to Grande’s long career and visibility in the spotlight. Since she first came onto our screens in 2010, the public have seen Grande — and her body — through various stages as she’s gone through puberty and young adulthood. That is no doubt a difficult position for Grande; something she has spoken about openly, often exploring the parasocial relationship between herself and her fans in her music. In 2024’s “Yes, And?” Grande addressed this head on, singing: “My face is sitting, I don’t need no disguise / Don’t comment on my body, do not reply / Your business is yours, and mine is mine.”
But for Simpson, this time in the spotlight also serves as an indicator that something is at least different with Grande and her body right now. “With someone like Ariana Grande, we have seen her body change over time,” Simpson says. “And so there’s evidence to support that something’s going on there; whether it’s an eating disorder or not — you can have other conditions that can contribute to losing a bunch of weight.”
Grande shouldn’t be attacked and vilified for this… “Eating disorders specifically…they’re not a choice.”
Dr. Courtney Simpson
While Simpson notes that you can’t necessarily tell that someone is struggling with an eating disorder by just looking at them, “she doesn’t look healthy or well,” Simpson says. Which means, for Simpson, that conversations around Grande’s body, weight and mental health need to be handled with care “Whatever the cause, [we should be] thinking about framing the conversation as: something appears to be going on that’s contributing to her looking malnourished and that’s concerning,” Simpson says.
And, Grande shouldn’t be attacked and vilified for this. Much of the initial conversations around Grande and her weight painted it as a moral failing of sorts. This goes back to the parasocial relationship many fans have with celebs. In a 2011 interview with VOGUE, Rihanna infamously said she didn’t want to be a role model, and time and time again we’ve seen instances of celebrities held to higher standards by their fans and the public due to their visibility. But what’s lost in this inherent expectation is the fact that, at the end of the day, Grande is a human being, meaning she’s not always going to — and maybe can’t necessarily — make the decisions the public deems as “correct.”
“Eating disorders specifically…they’re not a choice,” Simpson adds. “They’re not something that someone chooses, they’re not something that somebody one day wakes up and [says]: this is fun. It’s a complex interaction between biology and environment.”
But at the same time, Ariana Grande is a public figure, and that can come with consequences
While Grande and her team may just want public scrutiny to go away, the thing is that, it can’t. Celebs like Grande may not have signed up to be role models for the masses, but the truth is that by virtue of their roles and their success, they inevitably have become that. Meaning that what they do, say, and yes, even how they look, sends a very public message about what’s accepted and viewed as the norm — and that can negatively impact young people or trigger those who are currently grappling with or in recovery from an eating disorder.
A 2024 global study from the University of Waterloo found that 55% of youths surveyed between the ages of 10-17 felt dissatisfied with their bodies, with social media as a large factor impacting this. And the conversation around Grande’s body, as well as “concern trolling” comments online have reportedly caused an influx of calls to eating disorder helplines in the UK, with clinicians reporting clients who are upset about the constant scrutiny and public comments about Grande’s body.
As journalist Nicole Russel noted in an opinion piece for USA Today about Grande, “it’s a double edged sword: Her celebrity status doesn’t exempt her from scrutiny, but that scrutiny should stay constructive and kind.” Especially when, as Russell points out, her health and appearance are topics of conversation based on a music video she herself would have produced and approved.
Madison Mazzeo has experienced the impact of this firsthand. The 31-year-old Phoenix-based podcaster is currently in recovery for an eating disorder, something she has dealt with since she was 16-years-old. As someone who was initially in a larger body, she says, “the thing that’s actually been the most triggering to me is watching people applaud [Grande’s] body and applaud its changes and defend it.”
“I got a lot of comments about being in a larger body and so the second I got into a smaller body, people were all telling me how much healthier I looked and how good I looked. I feel like she [has] had a pretty similar trajectory,” she says of Grande.
Both Harrison and Simpson have also encountered clients feeling activated or impacted by both the conversation around Grande’s body as well as the overall return to extreme thinness in society right now with the proliferation and increased accessibility of weight loss drugs.
The thing that’s actually been the most triggering to me is watching people applaud [Grande’s] body and applaud its changes and defend it.”
Madison Mazzeo, Phoenix-based podcaster in treatment for an eating disorder
“The thing that happens with our brains is that the more that we see a certain type of image, piece of information, the more we get used to it and the more it becomes normalized,” Simpson says. “What that means is that we’re getting used to that as a standard, even if we’re not trying.”
And constantly reinforcing the message that this is what a healthy body does — and should — look like.
For both Simpson and Harrison, this concern is especially pertinent for young people, whose media literacy skills and ability to discern and think critically about the images in front of them are still developing.”It’s not just concern for her, it’s concern for ourselves and the fear that the beauty standard is shrinking to ever-smaller proportions in a way that I think we fear that’s going to become what’s expected of us as women,” Harrison adds. “As everyday women, that’s the new standard that we’re going to have to adhere to, not just unattainably thin, the way that we’ve seen from celebrities for decades, but distressingly thin perhaps thin to the point of illness or something going on that just feels like this could actually be deadly.”
And it’s this concern — and impact — that takes this particular conversation beyond the typical refrain to never talk about women’s bodies — because this is an extreme example. As journalist Stacy Lee Kong noted in a recent edition of pop culture newsletter Friday Things, the idea that it’s taboo to talk about celebrities’ weight and bodies makes sense philosophically, especially when you look at examples like the fatphobia inherent in comments about singer Adele’s thinner body in 2020. But as she says, it doesn’t entirely make sense to expect people to ignore when a celeb’s appearance changes, considering that’s the currency they tend to run on. And it’s especially nonsensical to use the idea of never talking about women’s bodies as an excuse to not address potential real-world harm.
Are these conversations helping people with eating disorders? We need to think about the message this debate sends.
With all that being said, it’s important to also take a larger look at the people and systems surrounding Grande right now, and question them, too.
The announcement from Grande’s team noted that the pop star would be taking a step back from the spotlight, because of the “endless, ongoing public scrutiny” it has led to; reinforcing that Grande is healthy. For Mazzeo, this framing, for a celebrity with such a large platform, is not only problematic, but also potentially harmful. “There’s a difference when you’re in the public eye and you’re like, ‘Hey, I’m struggling with an eating disorder’ versus I’’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and you shouldn’t assume otherwise,’” she says. While Mazzeo notes that Grande doesn’t owe us transparency on whether or not she’s dealing with an eating disorder (or another illness), it’s the constant assurance that she’s fine and healthy that’s an issue. “Because I think that is very dangerous, to be clearly malnourished and tell everybody that you’re healthy,” she says.
And there are many people behind the scenes that would go into that decision. As Stacy Lee Kong says in the same Friday Things newsletter, it’s important to ask questions about what’s really happening here. As Lee Kong asked: “Why is her team so invested in portraying her as healthy and happy? Do they really have her best interests at heart, or are they invested in protecting her tour’s profitability? What professional responsibilities are at play here?”
“Celebrities are a business,” Harrison says. “A business in line of fire is always going to say ‘everything’s great’ or ‘we’re listening and learning’ or ‘we’re taking some time to reflect.’ This is a common trope. It’s not specific to her situation, it’s damage control.”
What remains important is how we, as the public, engage in conversations around Grande’s appearance with those in our lives. For people viewing these images who may feel impacted by them, Harrison suggests taking a social media break and stepping away from the discourse if you’re able to. “Getting back into real life, getting some support, getting some help for your own disordered eating or body image distress, that’s really what’s most important.”
If you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in need of support, please call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. For a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.
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