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Trivia is an ancient tradition, the first traces of which have been dated back to the era of neanderthals. It has remained a key facet of human life to this day, and knowing the proper trivia technique is one of the most invaluable skills one could learn. Be warned: "doing trivia" is not as simplistic as it sounds-- hard work and unshakeable dedication are a must if you truly wish to be the best.
== Steps ==
=== Learn and respect your trivia history ===
# To fully appreciate and understand the greatness of this art form, one must become familiar with it's history. Read up on The Almighty Armadillo, God of All Trivia and Grand Ruler of the Universe. Learn the techniques of trivia practitioners past. Do not limit your research to the perspective of a trivia answerer, but of a trivia MAKER as well.
# Now that you know your trivia history, learn to show it the respect it deserves. Build a shrine to The Almighty Armadillo. No, make that two shrines. Actually-- better go for three to be safe. BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY ARMADILLO. KNOW THAT NEXT TO HIM, YOU ARE BUT A SPECK OF DIRT. This is a crucial step. If you attempt trivia without the proper respect to its past and traditions, you WILL fail and are likely to incur serious injury.
=== Prepare yourself physically and mentally ===
# So you know your history. Great! Now you must prepare to really get down to business. First off, be sure to stretch before answering trivia. Take at least 20 minutes to warm up. This will help deter injury and soreness both during and after trivia.
# Meditate. You will have to set aside around four hours before your trivia experience begins in order to clear your mind of all distractions. Open your mind to the the universe. Only by doing this will trivia deem you worthy to partake.
# Have a plan. Enter trivia with a plan of attack-- going in blind is a straight path to ruin. If you have meditated properly, this should be simple. In your mind, repeat the following: "I am one with the universe. I am one with the trivia. The universe has trivia. Trivia has a plan. The plan is me. I am trivia." Do so 20,277 times. A plan will find you, for you ARE the plan.
=== Answer the trivia ===
# At this point, someone has probably asked you a trivia question. If not, you may ask one to yourself if you wish. If all of the afformentioned steps have been completed thoroughly and properly, an answer should present itself to you within the first three minutes after any given trivia question has been asked.
# Return your answer to whatever trivia master has presented it to you. Remember to also give them compliments, cake, and perhaps a few phone answerers.
=== Continue to live a trivia life ===
# Trivia is a part of your life now. Accept it. Do not attempt to escape it. This is impossible. Trust me, it will be much, much easier for you if you just cooperate.
# TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA
== Tips ==
* Eating peanuts beforehand can help with the meditation process.
* Make sure you have plenty of water on hand! It is important to stay hydrated.
== Warnings ==
* Do not EVER say the word watermelon. EVER.
__PARTS__
== Steps ==
=== Learn and respect your trivia history ===
# To fully appreciate and understand the greatness of this art form, one must become familiar with it's history. Read up on The Almighty Armadillo, God of All Trivia and Grand Ruler of the Universe. Learn the techniques of trivia practitioners past. Do not limit your research to the perspective of a trivia answerer, but of a trivia MAKER as well.
# Now that you know your trivia history, learn to show it the respect it deserves. Build a shrine to The Almighty Armadillo. No, make that two shrines. Actually-- better go for three to be safe. BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY ARMADILLO. KNOW THAT NEXT TO HIM, YOU ARE BUT A SPECK OF DIRT. This is a crucial step. If you attempt trivia without the proper respect to its past and traditions, you WILL fail and are likely to incur serious injury.
=== Prepare yourself physically and mentally ===
# So you know your history. Great! Now you must prepare to really get down to business. First off, be sure to stretch before answering trivia. Take at least 20 minutes to warm up. This will help deter injury and soreness both during and after trivia.
# Meditate. You will have to set aside around four hours before your trivia experience begins in order to clear your mind of all distractions. Open your mind to the the universe. Only by doing this will trivia deem you worthy to partake.
# Have a plan. Enter trivia with a plan of attack-- going in blind is a straight path to ruin. If you have meditated properly, this should be simple. In your mind, repeat the following: "I am one with the universe. I am one with the trivia. The universe has trivia. Trivia has a plan. The plan is me. I am trivia." Do so 20,277 times. A plan will find you, for you ARE the plan.
=== Answer the trivia ===
# At this point, someone has probably asked you a trivia question. If not, you may ask one to yourself if you wish. If all of the afformentioned steps have been completed thoroughly and properly, an answer should present itself to you within the first three minutes after any given trivia question has been asked.
# Return your answer to whatever trivia master has presented it to you. Remember to also give them compliments, cake, and perhaps a few phone answerers.
=== Continue to live a trivia life ===
# Trivia is a part of your life now. Accept it. Do not attempt to escape it. This is impossible. Trust me, it will be much, much easier for you if you just cooperate.
# TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA TRIVIA
== Tips ==
* Eating peanuts beforehand can help with the meditation process.
* Make sure you have plenty of water on hand! It is important to stay hydrated.
== Warnings ==
* Do not EVER say the word watermelon. EVER.
__PARTS__
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