Play the Great Midwest Trivia Contest and Abide by the Trivia Credo

←Older revision		Revision as of 01:22, 26 January 2020
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	== Steps ==		== Steps ==
	=== Preparing for Trivia ===		=== Preparing for Trivia ===
−	# Sleep before the weekend. You're going to need sleep before the event. Sleep is essential since you will be awake for 40 hours or more. Go to bed early, cut down on caffeine, and if all else fails take a healthy handful of sleeping pills.	+	# Sleep before the weekend. You're going to need sleep before the event. Sleep is essential since you will be awake for 40 hours or more. Go to bed early, cut down on caffeine, and if all else fails take a healthy handful of sleeping pills.[[Image:SleepingDuringTrivia.png|center]]
−	# Practice jamming An important part of trivia is ensuing that other players cannot answer during challenging questions. The best way to practice this is to call 911, fake emergencies and keep them on the line as long as possible. Be sure to use an untraceable phone number and do not provide any information about your real location. Talking about taking hostages is often an effective way of keeping the conversation going.	+	# Practice jamming. An important part of trivia is ensuing that other players cannot answer during challenging questions. The best way to practice this is to call 911, fake emergencies and keep them on the line as long as possible. Be sure to use an untraceable phone number and do not provide any information about your real location. Talking about taking hostages is often an effective way of keeping the conversation going.[[Image:JammingpracticeforTrivia.png|center]]
−	# Come up with funny chode puns.If you don't have a large arsenal of chode puns, you will certainly not succeed at trivia. Some people, like Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia, do this by watching other people's videos of chode puns, though you should try to be creative before blatantly plagarizing their hard work. If nothing else just write "frog and chode are friends" 50 times in a word document and you'll be set.	+	# Come up with funny chode puns. If you don't have a large arsenal of chode puns, you will certainly not succeed at trivia. Some people, like Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia, do this by watching other people's videos of chode puns, though you should try to be creative before blatantly plagarizing their hard work. If nothing else just write "frog and chode are friends" 50 times in a word document and you'll be set.[[Image:TriviaChodePuns.png|center]]
−	# Buy lots of food and hire a smug child to cook it. 50 hours is a lot of time and eventually you'll have to eat, probably more than once. You'll have a lot of friends, so you can save money by buying a costco membership and buying in bulk before immediately canceling your membership after trivia. But food needs to be cooked and the best way to do that without taking time out of answering questions is to hire a smug child. An earnest child will think you are all weird and won't stick around all weekend, but a smug child will giggle at the chode puns, plus you don't have to pay them as much as an adult.	+	# Buy lots of food and hire a smug child to cook it. 50 hours is a lot of time and eventually you'll have to eat, probably more than once. You'll have a lot of friends, so you can save money by buying a costco membership and buying in bulk before immediately canceling your membership after trivia. But food needs to be cooked and the best way to do that without taking time out of answering questions is to hire a smug child. An earnest child will think you are all weird and won't stick around all weekend, but a smug child will giggle at the chode puns, plus you don't have to pay them as much as an adult.[[Image:SmugChildTrivia.png|center]]
		+	#Steal your work laptop. Your personal laptop is a probably a piece of garbage at this point and is super slow because of all the viruses you've downloaded over the years, so it's a wise idea to use a computer that is managed by an IT person who is ultimately more responsible for the device than you. Don't forget a charger so that one of your friends can accidentally walk off with it at the end of the week and make it impossible to get any work done until you order a new one. Some people would suggest deleting your browser history after the event, but you should wait until after you've talked about trivia to your coworkers and read at least one chapter of the Cats fanfiction you liked so much to them during your daily meeting. And if all else fails, use the internet browser on your Nintendo 3DS.[[Image:TriviaWorkLaptop.png|center]]
		+	# Listen to Africa on repeat. The trivia theme song is an important part of celebrating the event, but inevitably there will be so much time spent on questions that they only play it like 80 times over the weekend. Put your old reliable Africa by Toto cassette into your classic boombox, hoist it over your left shoulder, and jam out for at least 2 hours straight, pausing only to rewind the cassette when needed. Remixes are acceptable, but you will be best prepared for Trivia by listening to the original.[[Image:ListeningToAfrica.png|center]]
	=== Playing Trivia ===		=== Playing Trivia ===
−	# No one is entirely sure how to play trivia and it's different every year. Just be sure to use your work computer and have fun.	+	# Figure it out yourself you lazy bum. Much of the fun of trivia comes from figuring out how to do it yourself and failing. Celebrate failure and the cold of embrace of death whenever possible. Don't forget to call the complaint line out of spite any time you get a question wrong, though not to berate the trivia masters but to compliment them for writing such challenging questions.[[Image:FiguringItOutYourself.png|center]]
−	=== Recovering from Trivia ===
−	# Take Monday off. It's important to give your body and mind time to process your experience and transition back to the real world. Plus you'll probably be tired and want to spend time with your teammates before the real world starts back.
−	# Save your search history. You never know when you'll use the information you learned and the internet you saw later and it can be hard to find outside of trivia weekend.
−	# Start preparing for trivia next year. It's never too late to start back at step one and get ready for the next Great Midwest Trivia Contest.
	== Tips ==		== Tips ==
	* Plan ahead. Nothing is worse than getting to 10:00:37 on Friday and not being ready.		* Plan ahead. Nothing is worse than getting to 10:00:37 on Friday and not being ready.
	* Save all the trivia number sin your phone, especially the complaint line. The trivia masters love to just chat, so call a lot.		* Save all the trivia number sin your phone, especially the complaint line. The trivia masters love to just chat, so call a lot.
−	* Get ready to share beds with your team.	+	* Get ready to share beds.
	* Maintain a Costco membership - even if you never use it, knowing you can buy bulk toilet paper before the weekend is worth the peace of mind.		* Maintain a Costco membership - even if you never use it, knowing you can buy bulk toilet paper before the weekend is worth the peace of mind.
	* Follow all the current and past trivia masters on all conceivable social media platforms.		* Follow all the current and past trivia masters on all conceivable social media platforms.
	* Be prepared to fall in love with Trivia Master Miranda's dad.		* Be prepared to fall in love with Trivia Master Miranda's dad.
		+	*It's never too late to start planning for next year.
	__PARTS__		__PARTS__

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