It seems like, every few months, there’s a photo or movie that prompts a new crop of people to come to the sudden conclusion that Adam Dr...

We Have Been Attracted To Centaurs For A Long Time, Actually

By NADIFA July 29, 2021

It seems like, every few months, there’s a photo or movie that prompts a new crop of people to come to the sudden conclusion that Adam Driver is hot. Maybe you finally saw *it* after Driver posed with Lady Gaga while dressed in a white cable-knit sweater; maybe it was after his shirtless scene in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. But others have come to terms with their attraction to Driver after watching a now-viral and deeply erotic Burberry ad where one Adam Driver turns from Big Hot Man to Big Hot Centaur. If this is you, you might have to face the fact that you’re not just into Driver — you’re into centaurs. And you aren’t alone.

In the sensual, perplexing ad for Burberry’s new fragrance, Burberry Hero, a shirtless Adam Driver dramatically charges into the sea while FKA twigs’ “Two Weeks” plays. He appears to be racing (or running alongside?) a large horse. Both Driver and the horse proceed to swim underwater, side by side, and as the camera flashes between both, it becomes clear that somehow they have merged. We’re left with a final, shadowy shot of Driver, as a centaur, standing on the beach. Hot.

Sure, we have some questions about this ad, like: Did Driver somehow merge with a horse underwater? Is something in the water that turns humans into mythical creatures, a la the M. Night Shyamalan Old beach? Wait — was he the horse all along? Or was the centaur wearing Adam Driver’s human pants when it emerged from the water? And finally: How on earth does this relate back to a perfume? Twitter reacted with thirst, confusion, and even fear.

But let’s be clear about something here: Driver is only the latest in a long line of hot centaurs, from Pierce Brosnan’s Chiron to James McAvoy’s Mr. Tumnus to, you know, this. I, newly interested in centaur hotness, have scoured the internet to find some kind of scientific article explaining this phenomenon, but the best I found was a factoid on TVTropes.org that centaurs are often shirtless (which is, yes, hot). So, instead, in an attempt to better understand and articulate the appeal, I asked Refinery29 staffers to describe their first centaur awakenings. You’re welcome!

“Maybe it’s because I’m a Capricorn and we stan a mixed breed, but centaurs have been hot since forever. Of course there are plenty of historical centaurs that are hot, but Leslie Knope as a centaur takes the cake for me — it’s the only time I’ve wanted to be with Leslie rather than be Leslie. Something about the way she’s holding a bow with her hair flying in the wind and her hind legs in the air just gets me. Obviously Jerry sucks, but he honestly deserves a Nobel Prize for this work of art.” —Hannah Rimm, Associate Editor, Money Diaries & Lifestyle

“I was not personally attracted to the centaurs in Xena: Warrior Princess (I was a wee child limited to crushing on Derek Jeter at the time of my viewing), but it feels important to note that show was filled with sexy centaurs. Upon Googling to make sure I was not imagining all the hunky and bodacious centaurs — Xena was an equal opportunity Hot Centaur show — I learned there are now multiple fan edits of Xena herself as one of the sultry human/beast hybrids. Lucy Lawless — always one step ahead of Adam Driver!” —Ariana Romero, Senior TV Critic

“I can loosely trace my sexy-centaur history back to a childhood viewing of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (we’re talking the 1988 BBC version here, folks) where the hairy half-man-half-goat character Mr. Tumnus made me feel something I’d describe as scary-sexy — this, unsurprisingly, also sums up my feelings for Adam Driver (with or without a clove-and-hoof lower body).” —Elizabeth Buxton, Deputy Director, Shopping

“I guess my first sexy centaur experience centered on Firenze from Harry Potter. He’s described as having a palomino horse body, blonde hair, and ‘astonishingly blue’ eyes. In the fifth book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Firenze is hired to replace Professor Trelawney as the Divination teacher at Hogwarts. Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown, who are kind of bimbo best friend characters and Gryffindor students, are so obsessed with Firenze that they curl their eyelashes around their wands before class to make sure they look extra cute for him. While all of this happened in my head as I read the book for the first time, I imagined a damn fine centaur and totally related to the horny teens’ hot-for-teacher attitude. If there’s anything sexier than someone exceedingly smart passing knowledge onto you, it’s that someone doing it on four legs and with a gorgeous coat.” —Olivia Harrison, Lifestyle Editor

“I haven’t confessed this to my co-workers (who all have immaculate taste), but I’m not big on animation or fantasy films/tv. My exposure to sexy centaurs is actually very limited, so I think the sexiest of all has to be Adam Driver. I mean, this ad is practically pornographic, and because of it, my new sexuality going forward might just be centaur-sexual.” —Leora Yashari, Senior News Editor

“I was too young to like boys, let alone centaurs, but in retrospect, the centaur IT guy from Artemis Fowl sounds hot.” —Natalie Morin, Entertainment Writer

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Why Men Doing The Bare Minimum Is Weirdly Sexy

Why Is It So Weirdly Sexy To Have A Husky Voice?

It's Weirdly Sexy When Hot White Dudes Cry



from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/2TGj5x1
via IFTTT