That’s not to say there aren’t positive aspects (we’re not bitter — we swear). But if you are going to enjoy the company of family this season, you’ll likely need to give yourself ways to handle all the not-so-fun parts heading home, too. So, in the interest of getting you through this holiday season (in ok spirits!), you’re going to need to plan accordingly.
That’s why we put together a guide of all the essentials you need to survive family time in a chaotic, bustling holiday house. No, we can’t help you snag an aunt who doesn’t snore, but we can help you stay occupied, even while appetizer-related warfare transpires downstairs. Shop ahead, and save yourself some brain cells.
Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones
Unfortunately, it has been deemed inappropriate to don ear plugs at dinner. That said, once you’ve retired from the table, you’ll want to drown out the droning debates and the clanking of plates in the other room. Hence: A great pair of noise-canceling headphones — whether you’re watching a movie, listening to music, or relishing some good ‘ol white noise, you can think of it as your own personal mute button.Bose Bose Quiet Comfort Noise Cancelling Wireless Headphones, $, available at Target
Animal Crossing™: New Horizons
There’s no antidote to family time like a little escapism — and fortunately, the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game provides just that. Frolic around in an alternative world void of snoring aunts and burnt pumpkin pies, while you design your own little haven.Pro tip: Download the (free) Animal Crossing: New Horizons 2.0 update and retreat to a stunning island getaway where you can now focus on cooking, lighting, and more.
Animal Crossing™: New Horizons - Happy Home Paradise DLC
Animal Crossing: New Horizons devotees can take things one step even further withAnimal Crossing: New Horizons - Happy Home Paradise, paid downloadable content where players build dream vacation homes for clients on resort islands. So, while you count down the minutes in your suburban home town, you might as well live vicariously through the glorious, tropical Nintendo universe.
Sonos Roam
For moments when noise-canceling headphones won’t serve you –– like, say, in the shower or on a bike ride –– try Sonos Roam. The speaker will give you that top-grade Sonos sound quality, but in a vessel that can travel with you no matter where you find yourself. That way, you can keep up with your podcasts and drown out your family at the same time.
MYSA Subscription
Natural wine! It’s good for you! And while most familial celebrations include wine, odds are, you’ll want a steady supply of your own. Pick out some solid options that suit your palate or take some expert recommendations from the wine wizards over at MYSA, and relish the knowledge that you’ll never be without a tasty, light-touch alcoholic beverage within reach.
Crossroads by Johnathan Franzen
Okay, okay, hear us out. Franzen may not be your cup of tea. He may not be the sort of author anyone describes as a “cup of tea.” But either way, this hefty tome will surely require hours of concentration –– so if you’re looking for a distraction tactic that involves bearing witness to the story of another deeply, tragically unhappy family, this might be your golden ticket. And if not, the hardcover edition serves as an excellent door stop.
Retrospec Atlas 21-Speed Bike
It’s highly possible that, at some point, you’ll find yourself in need of a very literal escape hatch. That’s when we’d suggest turning to a 21-speed, lightweight, easily transportable bicycle like this Retrospec number. It’ll get you out of Dodge –– and fast –– in a crisis of the family-overload variety.
Yaber Projector
Not only are holiday-movie screenings a staple of the season, but they’re also an ideal way to sate the masses for a few hours. That’s right: We’re talking ~2 hours of quiet time sans kitchen tasks or questions about your love life. Up the ante on movie time this year with a serious projector to ensure minimal distractions during your Elf viewing.
St. Agrestis Negroni 4-Pack
When you need something harder than wine –– but you simply can’t be bothered to enter the kitchen for cocktail materials –– these pre-bottled Negronis will certainly do the trick. Keep ‘em hidden, then pour over ice when you’re most in need.
Ocio Loungewear Set
The good part of being home for the holidays is that absolutely no one can tell you to put real clothes on. In fact, it’s the premier time of year to lounge around in your sweats. So opt for a cozy, pajama-adjacent set like this one from Ocio. It’s not as comfy as nudity, but it is chic enough to sport at the grocery store when you’re sent out to buy more eggs.
Maude Vibe
We’ll keep this one short and sweet: If you’re going home for the holidays, bring a vibrator.
Azulene Calming Mask
A little self-care goes a long way when you’re sharing a home with a full circus of holiday attendees. So be kind to yourself and tap out of cookie decorating for an hour or two to rejuvenate your skin with a calming mask.
Bearaby Weighted Blanket
If you’ve been relegated to the couch or strong-armed into sharing your childhood bedroom with your four preadolescent cousins, you’ll probably need a little something to help usher you into a solid deep sleep. We’d recommend a weighted knit blanket like this one from Bearaby –– which happens to be just as visually pleasing as any lightweight throw. Plus, it'll keep you toasty throughout long nights of gaming or holiday movie viewing.
Headspace Subscription
If your therapist is out of commission for the holidays, consult another mental health resource: Head Space. With countless guided meditations available right on your phone, it might be just the thing to keep you from flipping the table –– whether you’ve got 10 minutes to spare or two hours.
Travel Pro Hard Shell Case
You KNOW you'll never forgive yourself if your precious Nintendo Switch system gets banged up en route home for the holidays. Think about the consequences: Home? For days on end? With no Animal Crossing to occupy you??
We'd advise you play it safe and opt for a fool-proof carrying case like this one.
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