There’s a lot of talk about how #rough the dating scene nowadays can be — and for many reasons (the foremost being my own inability to be clever over text), I won’t lie: I’m not envious of anyone living the single life rn. However, as someone in a long-term relationship — six years going on forever, if all goes well — being boo’d up isn’t 24/7 bliss. That said, the overwhelming majority of the time, I’m incredibly grateful to have found my partner and am head over heels in love. (Aww.)
As many couples can relate to, there are plenty of times when I’m looking for activities we can do together to bring us closer and strengthen our bond. (I know it sounds trite, but I’m a Virgo that takes self-improvement maybe a little too seriously.) Luckily, my day job grants me the perks to test out some pretty awesome stuff — and when BestSelf Co’s Intimacy Deck came upon our radar, I leaped at the chance to give it a go.
You may remember BestSelf from fellow Shopping Team star Mercedes’ review of the brand’s 2022 journal-planner hybrid. With their glowing endorsement, I was even more excited when the brand sent me their Intimacy and Relationship Decks. Each features 150 prompts designed to spark meaningful conversations with your partner. (There’s also a 50-question Date Deck, which looks très fun.)
Ahead, keep reading for my review of both decks – but folks, I’m calling it now: Second to a romantic vacation, this just might be the best couples gift idea ever. (Plus, R29 readers can get 20% off with promo code REFINERY.)
Intimacy Deck, $25
Similar to popular couples’ card games like We’re Not Really Strangers and Belgian psychotherapist (and modern-day relationship whisperer) Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin, BestSelf’s Intimacy Deck features deep, introspective questions that really made me and my partner think about our bond. (“This isn’t a sex dice thing, right?” he said before we got started.)
Anyway, we opened a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon (not by any means required, but made for a fun night in) and got to work: We decided to randomly pick a card for each other from a chosen category, and take turns doing so. All of the categories were so good, it genuinely made it fun to choose a different one each time. (“Random” brought the most laughs, but even I learned some new things about him with the “About You” prompts.) An hour flew by with us asking questions, and by the end of the night, I felt closer to him than in a long time. The feels!
Relationship Deck, $25
Compared to the Intimacy Deck, my experience of the Relationship Deck covered more pragmatic facets of coupledom; topics included “Finances,” “Work,” and “Health” alongside ones like “Mindfulness” and “Personal Development.” What I really liked about this deck is that it felt perfect for us, as a couple that shares an apartment and rescue pup. A couple of cards made us stop and think about our dynamics — he’s a first-year intern at a hospital currently making less than me, but will likely end up becoming the breadwinner in years to come — in a way that we hadn’t really before.
Final Thoughts
Depending on your partner, the act of talking about the relationship itself might not be something that comes easily. While these decks are ultimately supposed to be a fun, modern way to spark meaningful conversations, the truth is that it can be very vulnerable to answer these — especially if there is past trauma in the relationship. That’s not to say that there aren’t any fun, sexy questions in the mix — “Describe our first kiss” brought some of the best memories we’ve shared — but it’s definitely something to keep in mind before diving in. I, an avid journaler and professional over-sharer, have always been comfortable expressing my emotions. On the other hand, my more mercurial partner has always been more guarded with feelings and therefore can struggle with being as candid. With that being so, it meant so much more to me when he was able to open up with every card.
At $25 for each deck, this is something I’m already planning on getting for my friends in various stages of coupledom — and I bet the Date Deck would be perfect for a FaceTime date (assuming both parties order in advance) or for keeping on a coffee table to get to know someone new IRL.
At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy or click on something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
from Refinery29 https://ift.tt/34ePgse
via IFTTT
