Picture it: I’m vacuuming my Revival rug with the most expensive item in my apartment — the $1,000 LG CordZero Auto Empty Cordless Stick Vacuum Cleaner — when I get an inkling to make a TikTok. As a self-proclaimed “home decor hottie” on the app, I considered it my duty to share the most whimsical feature of this appliance: It automatically empties its own dust bin in seconds with the help of a 3-foot-tall docking tower. It also, to my delight, sings a merry jingle before and after. I film the TikTok in my pajamas, edit in a funky little dance at the end, post, and wake up to 50,000 likes accompanied by over 100 comments.
In my experience as a shopping writer, a $1,000 product doesn’t just make people roll their eyes; it makes them mad. So I was shocked to find comments like “I need that,” “Finally a sign I’m on the right timeline,” and “GETTING IT,” popping up in my notifications. Full transparency, LG sent me this tech treasure to test the CordZero out, and it actually took me months to grasp only a fraction of its full potential. The amount of specs makes my eyes cross to this day, and LG’s on-site description summarizes it best: The CordZero “charges, stores tools and automatically empties the dust bin — all in one sleek docking station.” Oh, and while I haven’t tried, it’s also a mop. So, after some research, information synthesizing, and extensive tests, I understood why people went crazy for this vac.
@polkathottie Home Decor Hottie Of The Week: LG CordZero™ All in One Auto Empty Cordless Stick Vacuum…if you’re rich or feeling reckless with your money BUY IT #gifted #vacuum #HDHOTW #homedecor ♬ met her kn the internet – bray
CordZero Auto Empty Cordless Stick Vacuum Cleaner, $999
If I were to list all the highlights, doohickeys, and attributes of this contraption, I’d write a book. The manual I have at the ready is 39 pages long. So, here are a few key features aside from the tower. The vacuum has five tools and attachments and a maximum run time of 120 minutes. It also has three suction speeds (Normal, Power, and Turbo), a noise level of 84 decibels (a little louder than a telephone ring according to Yale), a five-step HEPA filtration system, and a start button (unlike Dyson’s trigger that starts the vacuum with a quick pull of your finger and stops it when you let go). You can also wash the filters AND track your cleaning history with the LG app that connects to the vacuum via WiFi. I digress.
Now let’s compare to other high-tech cordless vacs — for example, the creators of the internet’s most recognizable suckers on the market Dyson. The brand’s most expensive model the Dyson Outsize retails at $969.99 before tax and boasts a laser that reveals microscopic dust and a 120-minute run time. But while Dyson might win the popular vote, Samsung is LG’s toughest rival with its $899 (currently on sale for $849) Bespoke Jet Cordless Stick Vacuum With All In One Clean Station. Not to stir up any drama in the high-tech cleaning world, but Samsung goes out of its way to place “Designed to Be Seen” in approximately 120-point font on this kindred vacuum’s product page. And, seeing how someone commented, “Nah that vacuum stand looks like an eye sore” on my TikTok, I can’t help but wonder (in the Carrie Bradshaw fashion) if that was a friendly jab.
All the while, I don’t consider my LG docking tower an eyesore in the slightest. I think it actually makes my living room look expensive and a little more mature. Plus, it’s not for looks — the tower recharges the vacuum, inconspicuously stores all the attachments, and, of course, empties the CordZero’s canister once holstered. Atop it, you’ll find two touch controls: “Start/Stop” and “Select Mode” followed by three mode options “Emptying,” “Aux Battery,” and “Auto Mode.” Select Emptying to clear out the canister whenever you want; choose Auto Mode if you prefer the tower to empty the vacuum, well, automatically. Aux Battery refers to charging the vacuum’s replacement battery that’s included in your purchase. You can also empty the contents of the tower by removing and throwing out a concealed disposable bag.
Using the vacuum is lovely. Prior to this, I cleaned my floors with a Dyson V8 — it’s only natural the $1,000 LG triumphs over the $400 Dyson. The suction is top-tier, especially because I keep the canister empty 90% of the time thanks to the tower. The less gunk in the trunk the better the suction. I will say the different speeds don’t seem to vary too much. It isn’t a problem because the lowest setting is enough to suck up a pistachio from the ground without the rotary attachment. Make sure you do not have any jewelry on the ground when using the highest setting as it will perish beneath the powerful inhalation.
The LG is also much quieter than the V8. I know I live in New York and quiet hours are non-existent, but I’m not even afraid to use it at night. My biggest issue with other cordless vacs was forgetting to charge them, and the tower eradicates that concern. I may or may not look forward to charging it because of the famous LG jingle that plays when docked correctly. Dyson does feature a charging station on-site, but I had no plans to hook it up to my wall any time soon. The only thing I miss about the Dyson is the quick, Ghostbuster-like trigger — this one uses a push-to-start power button.
As for hair, when my afro was out and curls were strewn about my floors, there was nary a tangle or clog in the rotary. Just a hair- and dirt-free ground. Even my wool rug couldn’t deter the CordZero’s powerful rotation.
In short…
I, as a mere lifestyle shopping writer who got a C in high school chemistry, simply cannot do the LG CordZero All In One Auto Empty Cordless Stick Vacuum justice. Even the product page doesn’t list every single feature, only the manual. I didn’t even delve into the mop function because I have yet to bust it out of the box, nor do I find it all that relevant to the point of the review — which is to figure out why a vacuum of all things garnered 130,000 views on my TikTok page. The answer? It’s a kick-ass piece of machinery that plenty of people did not know existed. I’ll leave you with TikTok user @yungdirt5’s comment that summed it up more eloquently than I ever could: “A vacuum for the vacuum [thinking Emoji].”
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