The point is: Right now, you'll hardly find folks adhering to traditional milestones on their romantic trajectories (you know, first you "go steady," then you get married, then you lose your virginity, buy a house, pop out three kids, and eventually die). Once you factor in the trappings of app dating, ethical non-monogamy, polycules, and so many of the other potential romantic possibilities available to us, it’s hard to discern which classic relationship stages still actually matter... and in what order they’re meant to occur.
Come holiday season, this can be unusually tricky territory. On the one hand, a sense of relationship ambiguity might be freeing... but on the other, how are you to know what feels "appropriate"? How do you know if you're overstepping? Understepping?! And if you don't go ahead and DTR right now, are you sentenced to spending your Thanksgiving wondering if they’re in their hometown sleeping with their marching band ex?
Well, we certainly can’t speak to the skeletons in your person’s (or almost-person’s) closet, but for what it’s worth, we can help you with the gifting conundrum. Ahead, we’ve pulled together the most low-stakes, high-brow gifts to give your partner-adjacent person while you’re still finding your footing as a "couple." They’re not gag gifts, but they’re not diamonds either. They’ll build intrigue without overpromising. And surely, they’ll help cement that third, fourth, fifth, twenty-seventh date.
Dirty Martini Hat
The dad hat, which continues to sit unexpectedly at the heart of modern fashion, is both a novelty gift and anything but. It says, “I can be silly,” but also, “I have great taste.” And this particular embroidered martini option from Instagram purveyor Wear Your Snacks will surely check both boxes.
Wear Your Snacks Dirty Martini Hat, $, available at Wear Your Snacks
Katie Kimmel Dog Vase
In the realm of ceramics, it can be hard to find one-off pieces worth gifting (rather than, say, a full set of tea cups). But these are early days, so we’re not replacing our partners' tableware just yet. Instead, start off with something small and full of personality like this absurd, yet stunning dog-thing flower vase from Katie Kimmel.
Katie Kimmel Confetti Puppy Vase, $, available at Katie Kimmel
Kola Goodies Sri Lankan Milk Tea
Whether or not your person is a tea person, this powdered latte mix from independent brand Kola Goodies is milky, comforting, and crazy easy to make. In fact, this might just be a little morning gift for you, should you spend the night.
Kola Goodies Sri Lankan Milk Tea, $, available at Kola Goodies
Dipped Taperware Candles
Let's say your apartment is a seven. Adding tapered candles into the mix will surely make it a 10. So give your romantic prospect the gift of +3 points on the home decor approval spectrum. This Etsy set is classic enough to suit any room, but sculptural enough to provide flavor, too.
Parachute Dipped Taper Candles Set, $, available at Parachute
Maison Balzac Bedside Carafe
Among the many complicated hurdles that accompany sharing a space — specifically, a bed — is perfecting a shared nighttime water routine. Are you both leave-12-half-finished-glasses-by-the-bed people? Are there twin nightstands or do you use the floor? Do you share one glass because it’s a corner bed and thus there's nowhere to put a second glass? Regardless, this very sexy carafe-and-glass combo will elevate the hell out of your communal evening hydration situation.
Maison Balzac Maison Balzac Bedside Carafe, $, available at Coming Soon
Outdoor Voices Rugby Shirt
Let it be known that you need not know the rules of rugby in order to effectively sport a rugby shirt. This vintage-inspired pullover is all about collegiate charm. So gift it, borrow it from your giftee, and revel in the joy of watching them look good in the thing you picked out.
Outdoor Voices Rugby Longsleeve, $, available at Outdoor Voices
Baggu Fanny Pack
It’s fashion, it’s utility, and it’s delightfully impersonal. Which is to say, surely your giftee will get great use of it without reading too much into it. Plus, this particular Baggu model comes in countless fun colors — as well as floral and checker prints — so there must be something in there for everybody.
Baggu Fanny Pack, $, available at Baggu
Bezel A. Lange & Söhne Watch
Au contraire, if you’re not in the market to play it cool, you’d best go for glamour and prestige: a luxury classic watch. Metaphorically speaking, it says, “time is sticking, let’s make moves.” Or, on a slightly less heavy handed note: "I’d willingly pay $5,000 to make you happy." Shop the selection at Bezel, a fully authenticated secondhand marketplace for vintage watches, and keep your fingers crossed that it’s, umm, a worthwhile investment.
A. Lange & Söhne A. Lange & Söhne Lange 1 Yellow Gold 101.021, $, available at Bezel
Ghia Non-Alcoholic Aperitif
Whether you’re big drinkers, sober-ish, or just…sober, Ghia is still something you’ll want to keep around the house. It’s rooty and negroni-adjacent, making it the perfect alc-replacement beverage — or an A+ mixer for a gin cocktail. Plus, the bottle is reminiscent of a vintage perfume bottle or an otherworldly potion, so it’s worth its while as kitchen decor alone.
Ghia Ghia Aperitif, $, available at Ghia
Bilboquet Glass Set
Sophie Lou Jacobson Bilboquet Wine Set, $, available at Coming Soon
Fruit Face Tray
Name one person who doesn't need this fruit face plate.
Bobo Choses Fruit Face Tray, $, available at Lisa Says Gah
CouCou French Class Gift Card
CouCou CouCou French Class Gift Card, $, available at CouCou
Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch Whiskey
Is there anything so elegant as glass of scotch, served neat? This particular blend of Scottish single malt and grain whiskeys has been aged at least 12 years, so it has that "good things take time" vibe going on. It's a "pinky's out" kind of gift — which is a good look for you.
Johnnie Walker Johnnie Walker 12 Year Black Label Blended Scotch Whisky, $, available at Wine
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