There’s a loneliness epidemic in the United States, and this isolation and lack of connection is having devastating effects on countless people, contributing to both physical ailments, like heart disease and dementia, as well as mental afflictions, like depression and anxiety. In this social climate, the need for long-lasting relationships has become increasingly vital — so much so that friends Alexis Mendias and Jaqueline “Jackie” Padilla were eager to help foster these connections with City Señoras, a social club that helps Latinas get out of their comfort zone and into community. The online-meets-IRL community, which is currently linking women in New York through in-person events, first found footing on TikTok, and now garners a loyal follower base of more than 6,000 across social media platforms.
Mendias and Padilla — who are both first-gen Mexican Americans from California — met on Facebook Marketplace. Mendias needed an additional roommate, and Padilla was looking for an apartment in New York. It was a match made in Marketplace heaven. They became fast friends on Padilla’s first night in New York. “We were united by lychee martinis,” Mendias tells Refinery29 Somos. A year later, in 2023, the idea to create City Señoras presented itself during one of their “kitchen downloads.”
“There’s a loneliness epidemic in the United States, and this isolation and lack of connection is having devastating effects on countless people.”
Grace Gavilanes
“When I moved here, I didn’t know anyone. So I was trying to create my group here, my community. I was having trouble connecting with people,” recalls Padilla, who works at a foreign relations think tank. “I was so used to reaching out to my primas back home and going out for a walk and speaking Spanglish [with them]. I wanted to create that sort of community here, too. Alexis and I started having this conversation in our kitchen about that, and we found that we both felt the same.”
At the core of the duo’s bond, and what they hope to create and celebrate with this new group, is a shared interest in self-care — a prioritization of the things and experiences that bring them the most joy, calm, and balance. A señora approach to living, if you will. For Mendias and Padilla, that could mean taking a tech-free walk, mindfully sipping on hot tea, lighting a candle after a long day, or simply catching up in their kitchen before bedtime. They knew that if they felt this strongly about thriving in their señora eras, other Latinas probably felt the same way, too.
A quick scroll on LatinaTok yields countless examples of how millennial women are embracing the señora lifestyle, whether that be through gardening, enjoying caldo in the summer, flipping tortillas on the comal with their bare hands, or deep cleaning their home to Juan Luis Guerra. But what does being a señora as a single, childless 20- or 30-something mean offline?
“[Having a señora mindset] is the pausing and taking care of yourself before you’re pausing and taking care of other people. I think we’ve seen that with the women in our lives, who helped raise us. I think for them, it was out of necessity because they had these greater responsibilities,” Mendias says. “We’re just girls in our 20s and 30s. But even then, with the stress of the world, we still think it’s important for us to do the same — to take a step back and feed into ourselves first. And it’s beautiful to be able to do that in community as well.”
“[Having a señora mindset] is the pausing and taking care of yourself before you’re pausing and taking care of other people.”
Alexis Mendias
After putting the word out on group chat app Geneva, the co-founders planned the first official City Señoras event, which consisted of playing lotería in Central Park. Despite chatter and excitement from fellow Latinas, only “two lovely ladies” made it to the inaugural meetup in August. “We were the two lovely ladies,” Padilla and Mendias tell Somos in unison. The no-show experience was humbling, but they knew City Señoras had potential, which prompted the duo to spread the news of their newly minted venture on Instagram and TikTok — a natural choice for Mendias, who works as a social media manager by day.
“That’s when people started to actually see us and show up,” Mendias says. “I think representation is so powerful; it’s what also helped drive people to come and show up to our third event, which was that massive walk in Central Park.”
The walk, which they hosted three weeks after their first meetup, saw more than 50 women participating either in pairs or in small groups, united by their shared desire to channel their inner señoras. Weather permitting, Mendias and Padilla aim to host one monthly walk in addition to indoor events, like a “samba and sips” event at their neighborhood Brazilian bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, a day trip to Beacon, New York, and a “conchas and lotería” event at a cafe in Ridgewood, Queens. Mendias and Padilla are in the midst of organizing future meetups, which will likely include a Zumba class, an intention-setting journaling session, and a trip to a Latina-owned apothecary in Queens.
“We want to help our tribe not fall into the winter blues,” says Padilla, who also shares that these in-person events have brought together women whose ages range from mid-20s to 40s. Everyone is welcome.
“I think if it’s something that you feel like you really want or is a space that is needed, there are others who feel the same way.”
Jaqueline “Jackie” Padilla
“We have several repeat señoras, and they’ve created their own groups,” Mendias adds. “I was talking to these three gals who didn’t know each other before coming to one of our events. They all met on a walk, and they ended up spending Thanksgiving together. I’m like, ‘Ah, that’s amazing.’ It inspires me to continue what we’re doing with the group.”
The duo dreams of expanding their community-building venture across major U.S. cities and eventually embarking on a City Señoras tour. In the meantime, they’re doling out actionable advice for those in search of their own groups. Mendias and Padilla believe anyone can find the perfect community that complements them best — no matter how niche their interests are or their location.
“I think social is such a great tool. Type in community and your city and see who else is just putting themselves out there,” Mendias recommends. “I like to think of TikTok as a really great SEO engine. If you even do that with ‘New York community,’ you’ll see there’s so many different subgroups.”
“We didn’t see what we were looking for at the time. I think if it’s something that you feel like you really want or is a space that is needed, there are others who feel the same way,” Padilla shares. “And if you put the message out, I’m sure people will reciprocate and answer the call, too.”
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