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Today: an in-house attorney who has a £300,000 joint annual income and who spends some of her money this week on gum for the office.
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Occupation: In-house attorney
Industry: Technology
Age: 37
Location: Cincinnati
Salary: $200,000 plus $75,000 bonus. My husband, S., makes $100,000. We share all finances.
Assets: $193,000 in savings (HYS account and regular savings accounts); $9,600 in checking accounts; $610,000 total retirement savings (401(k)s, IRAs); $7,000 in 529s; $339,000 in investment accounts; $35,000 other (CD, Series I bond, etc.); around $300,000 equity in home; around $20,000 equity in two cars; $25,000 in vested stock.
Debt: $75,000 remaining on mortgage.
Paycheck amount (2x/month): $5,214; S.’ paycheck is $2,539.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: $2,303 mortgage, includes escrow for taxes/insurance. I live with S., our two kids (R. and baby) and our dog.
Loan payments: Officially $0 as of last month!
R.’s preschool: $1,680
Utilities: $439 (electric, water, internet, security).
Insurance: $272 (car and life).
Entertainment subscriptions: $95 (Netflix, Spotify, YouTube TV, etc.).
Gymnastics class: $144
Deep cleaning service: $200
Phone: $70
Parking garage: $102
Charitable donations: $150 (average).
Gym: $22
Retirement contributions: $2,036 in total deducted from my and S.’ paychecks (8% match for my 401(k)).
Health insurance/HSA contributions: $610 deducted from my and S.’ paychecks (combined total).
Savings: $3,000 ($2,000 from me; $1,000 from my husband).
Investments: $1,000 to joint investment account; $100 to each 529 account.
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, there was definitely an expectation that I would pursue higher education. In terms of paying for school, my parents set up custodial brokerage accounts for myself and my siblings and told us they were to be used for tuition and room and board, then anything leftover (due to scholarships, grants, etc.) was ours to use for our futures (such as grad school, house, wedding, retirement and so on). My account was at around $300,000 when I went to college. I went to a public in-state university for both undergrad and law school and I pursued a number of scholarship opportunities, so I had about $175,000 leftover after seven years in school. I worked during summers for money to spend on anything non-academic (books, clothes, going out, vacations, building savings, etc.). My husband took out loans for undergrad and grad school while also working to fund his education and other expenses. He has worked for over 10 years in public service and his student loans (around $300,000 balance) were forgiven last month through the public service loan forgiveness program.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My family didn’t have a lot of open conversations about money. My parents both came from lower-income families in small towns, and they were (and continue to be) VERY financially conservative. My parents stressed the importance of saving early. Most of my financial education came when I started working.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first official job was at a local amusement park when I turned 16. I worked pretty much every day of the summer and winter breaks for gas money, expenses like clothing and going out with friends, and to start growing a savings account balance. Prior to this, I babysat around the neighborhood to earn money.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I was extremely lucky to not have to worry about money or watch my parents be especially stressed about money as I was growing up; however, we lived modestly and money wasn’t spent on extraneous items like a big house, new cars, expensive clothes or fancy vacations.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I worry about money constantly. I am stressed about childcare expenses, especially since they will be doubling in a few months when the baby starts daycare. I worry about saving money to help the kids with education costs and funding our retirement. I spent the last 10 years stressed about my husband’s student loan balance so the recent forgiveness has been a huge relief. My family has outgrown our “starter house” but with a 2.75% interest rate, it doesn’t make financial sense to try to move right now.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible for myself when I graduated law school at the age of 25. If I ever were truly in need, I think my parents would be able to provide us with a safety net.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I received the balance of my custodial brokerage account that I didn’t use for education (around $175,000), which was a huge head start when I became financially independent. I’ve tried hard not to dip into it over the years so that it will continue to grow. I also received a $10,000 gift from my grandmother before she died. My husband received around $10,000 after his dad passed away.
Day One: Tuesday
5:30 a.m. — I hear my 3-month-old baby making noise so I get up to feed her and luckily she goes back down. I struggle to fall back asleep so I just read a book on my phone using the Libby app (My Oxford Year). Eventually my 3-year-old, R., gets up and bursts into our room, waking up my husband, S., and putting an abrupt stop to my reading time. S. and R. head downstairs to feed the dog and R. watches TV while S. makes eggs and toast for breakfast. In the meantime, I get the baby up, feed her, then get myself ready for work and pack up the kids for the day.
8 a.m. — I make it out the door with the baby and R. We head to R.’s preschool first and drop-off is surprisingly efficient. The baby and I get back in the car and head to my parents’ house. My parents and S.’ mom are splitting childcare duties for the baby until she is 6 months old and goes to daycare at the same place as R. I love that my baby is getting one-on-one time with grandparents (and that we are saving a ton of money) but the drive all around the city is tiring now that I am back in the office most days. When the baby starts daycare in a few months, our childcare costs will nearly double. Right now, S. and I generally split the driving duties depending on meeting schedules. Predictably, I hit bad traffic on the way to the office after I drop the baby off, but at least it gives me time to listen to my audiobook (Demon Copperhead).
9 a.m. — I park and walk a few blocks to the office. My garage is kind of far but I like getting the extra steps most days and the garage is cheaper than the one attached to my office building. I stop at my favorite coffee spot on the way in to grab a large coffee. $2.20
10 a.m. — I just returned to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave so I am still digging my way through emails and catching up on projects from when I was out. I eat an oatmeal muffin from home and a protein bar while I work and I do my morning pump. I breastfed R. for a year but I’m not sure how long I will last this time around with the baby. I am so grateful that I am able to breastfeed and that my job allows me the flexibility to pump; however, it takes a toll both physically and mentally.
12 p.m. — I’m using my lunch break today to attempt some exercise. The postpartum period this time has been a lot more difficult on my body and I’ve had some complications from a C-section. I go on a quick outdoor walk around the block while listening to my audiobook, then head to a gym by my office. I joined the gym when I went back to the office so that I would have a place close by to do my physical therapy exercises. I have pretty severe diastasis recti (abdominal separation) and with the kids it is tough to find time in the morning and evening to do my exercises. I do a 30-minute YouTube video for core rehab. I stop at Walgreens on the way back to the office for two big packs of gum to keep at my desk. $6.20
4 p.m. — I eat lunch I brought from home (including roasted chickpeas, a hard-boiled egg, lactation balls, bell peppers and a sandwich) while I pump. I work for a few more hours at the office, then I head home and do a quick pump while I log back into my computer to keep working. S. primarily works in our home office since his job is 100% remote. In contrast, my “office” consists of a desk and monitor in the corner of the dining room. I remember that R. dropped the baby monitor this morning and broke it, so I order a new part from Amazon and hope it arrives quickly. $12.93
5 p.m. — My parents pick R. up from school and bring the baby and R. home for us so we don’t have to make the extra drive this afternoon. I am eternally grateful to my parents and S.’ mom for all the childcare help they give us and I love how close R. is with his grandparents. I put the baby down for a quick nap and play outside with R. while S. makes dinner. S. and I split the household and childcare workload pretty evenly — S. does the cooking (he is an amazing cook!) and I do our cleaning and family finances, then we share dishes and laundry. Dinner tonight is black beans and rice and mukimame, with mini ice cream sandwiches outside for dessert.
7 p.m. — We start bedtime routines for the kids, including baths and books, and a final feed for the baby. R. almost exclusively wants to read books about trucks, but with each biweekly library haul I try to sneak in a few random ones for some variety. Tonight, in addition to a few truck ones, we read about a dog who needs glasses — this is my not-so-subtle attempt to get R. more comfortable with his new glasses. After books, I get the baby to bed while S. takes R. I clean up the house while listening to S. tell R. a story. Lately S. has been using ChatGPT to generate stories using data points R. provides (like characters, places, trucks and activities), which has made for some pretty entertaining stories. By the time I finish dishes and shower, R. is asleep.
8:45 p.m. — S. and I hang out in bed together and catch up about our days and logistics planning for tomorrow. We watch Friends while S. does a fantasy football draft. I do my last pump of the evening then it is bedtime for me. S. is more of a night owl and enjoys his later evening time to watch sports and play video games in the basement.
Daily Total: $21.33
Day Two: Wednesday
7:30 a.m. — S. got up with R. and let me sleep in since I was up in the night with the baby. They work on breakfast while I get the baby up and fed. S. leaves early with the baby, who is going to my mother-in-law’s today. I bribe R. to hustle with the promise of a car snack and drop him off at school. I’m working remotely today so I get home and finish off R.’s (now cold) breakfast of eggs and toast. I walk up to the neighborhood coffee shop to kick-start my day with a quick walk and a large coffee. $3.75
9 a.m. — I get home and eat an oatmeal muffin while I start work for the morning. I take some quick breaks to pump, tidy up the kitchen and eat a few snacks throughout my morning. The upside and downside of working remotely is snack availability.
12:30 p.m. — I’m ready for a work break so I vacuum while listening to my audiobook, spending way too long trying to dig Play-Doh out of the carpet, then I pump while trying to hydrate. I decide to make a quick run to Aldi for peanut butter and end up getting a few extra groceries while I’m there. I unload groceries and make a quick smoothie while eating some of my new purchases, including pumpkin seeds. $43.21
4 p.m. — It is a busy afternoon of work and it flies by. It’s a good thing I set a calendar alert to remember to pump while I work. I’m hoping to beat traffic so I leave to pick up the baby from my mother-in-law’s house. I stop for gas on the way and end up hitting traffic anyway, but at least I finish my audiobook on the drive. $44.02
6 p.m. — I arrive back home with the baby and take her up to the nursery for a quick contact nap while I work from my phone. S. has picked up R. from school and I can hear them playing together while I rock the baby. The late afternoon window is always a struggle for the baby to sleep. We eat a quick dinner of leftover black beans and rice. S. takes the kids upstairs for bath time while I answer a few emails and eat angel food cake out of the pan for dessert.
7:45 p.m. — We read a few books in bed while I feed the baby and then we get the kids to sleep. I am downstairs early to answer a few emails and prepare for tomorrow in the office. I tidy up the house, pack up my work gear and lots of snacks, and take a shower. I skip hair washing tonight because I’ve noticed my postpartum hair loss has officially started.
9:30 p.m. — I hang out with S. in bed and we catch up on our day before watching some TV and decompressing. I finish my last pump and I am ready for sleep. S. joins me tonight to catch up on sleep instead of staying up.
Daily Total: $90.98
Day Three: Thursday
7 a.m. — I drag myself out of bed after a rough night with both kids. I spend some time playing with R. after feeding the baby. S. makes oatmeal for breakfast and then we get ready for the day. S. has drop-off duty for the kids this morning. I start a new audiobook on my commute to the office (Finlay Donovan Rolls The Dice).
8:45 a.m. — My first stop at the office today is a biometric screening as part of our healthcare incentive program to get an extra $500 added to my paycheck. Once complete, I am desperate for food and caffeine since I have been fasting for the blood work. I run to the coffee shop by my office before starting work and eating an oatmeal muffin from home. I pump and eat a protein bar while I continue to work through the morning. $2.20
12 p.m. — I go to lunch with some coworkers and we opt for a nicer restaurant since it has an outdoor patio and it’s a beautiful day. I order cauliflower tacos and eat way too much of the chips and guacamole. It is good to catch up on what’s been happening on the team since I was out on maternity leave. After lunch, we head back to the office and I pump. Then I spend the afternoon in meetings, grabbing some snacks from home when I can in between calls, along with a few trips to the office candy bowl. $26
3:30 p.m. — I leave the office early to get to my parents’ house before a Zoom meeting and beat some of the traffic to pick up the baby. After my meeting, I go on a quick walk with my dad while the baby naps. He tells me he cashed out a CD and then surprises me with a $5,000 check to put towards the kids’ 529 accounts. I am reminded again how lucky I am for how much our parents do for their grandkids.
5:30 p.m. — I drive through Chipotle on the way home to pick up dinner. S. picked up R. from school and they went to the park while I was getting the baby. We eat dinner and play outside afterwards while eating mini ice cream sandwiches to enjoy the beautiful night. After dinner it’s time for bath and books with the kids before bed. I try to sneakily sort laundry while R. is in the bath but he catches me and insists on “helping”, aka building a giant laundry house and telling me I can’t put anything away. I give up and feed the baby before we wrangle both kids into bed. $27.56
8 p.m. — I feel guilty I didn’t exercise at all today, but I’m too tired to do anything but shower and a few physical therapy exercises on the floor. S. and I hang out in bed and chat about our day for a bit, then we watch Friends until I do my last pump. I go to sleep but S. stays up because apparently there is an exciting game on.
Daily Total: $55.76
Day Four: Friday
6 a.m. — I officially give up on falling back asleep after waking up with the baby around 5 a.m. S. fell asleep in R.’s room after R. woke up in the night and needed tucking back in. I cuddle with the dog while I research 10th anniversary wedding gifts online. S. and I always have fun trying to stick to the traditional anniversary gifts. Year 10 is tin or aluminum, which I am finding a little challenging. Is beer romantic enough? R. wakes up and I take him downstairs to play while S. and the baby keep sleeping. R. primarily enjoys playing with trucks, and this morning we do lots of rescues using fire trucks.
7:30 a.m. — S. and the baby are up. I feed the baby then we all get ready for the day. We stop at our neighborhood coffee shop before school as a special treat and enjoy our coffees (me and S.) and pastries (me and R.) outside. We see lots of neighbors and R. enjoys telling people “enjoy your coffee” as they head inside. $11.70
9 a.m. — S. stays at the coffee shop to work while I take R. to school and the baby to my mother-in-law’s house. There was an accident on the highway so the commute is extra long today. I’m grateful I thought to bring my laptop with me. I feed the baby when we finally get there and have a smoothie my mother-in-law makes me (my husband gets his cooking genes from her). I answer a few emails before getting back in the car and heading home to work remotely.
12 p.m. — I take a work break to push the kids’ wagon up to a local pet supply shop for two bags of dog food and some toys and treats to add to a pet-themed basket for a work fundraiser. I play with two kittens that are up for adoption at the shop while I talk to the employee about some of our local pet rescues. S. and I used to foster dogs with one of the rescues before we had kids and we really miss it, but unfortunately we are out of space and our lives are too chaotic right now. $84.01
1 p.m. — I get back home to work while I eat at my desk. Lunch is peanut butter crackers, a pear and a handful of protein cookies, along with an oatmeal muffin. After a few hours of work, I take a break to put the newly washed sheets back on the bed (much faster without a toddler “helping”) and I do a quick 10-minute core video from YouTube. I get back to work and eat some cut-up bell peppers while I pump.
4:45 p.m. — I leave to get R. from school. In the meantime, my mother-in-law arrives at our house with the baby. I try getting the baby down for a nap but she isn’t interested so S. baby-wears her while finishing dinner. I play with R. and his trucks outside in the sandbox, then we sit down for a dinner of black bean dip, which R. has been requesting all week, along with some steamed veggies. R. isn’t interested in the veggies but we get him to eat some chickpeas and mukimame by making patterns with them. We are having fun until R. bites his finger while eating, and this kicks off a truly epic meltdown.
7:30 p.m. — Bedtime is chaotic because R. is still upset. While I rock the baby to sleep, I end up going down a Google wormhole about red flag behaviors in toddlers and how many tantrums are normal. I go for a walk to try to mitigate my anxiety and I talk to my mom about my concerns. She tries to assure me that R.’s behavior is normal for a toddler, especially one going through big transitions like with the new baby and a new class at school. I had really bad postpartum anxiety after R. was born, particularly around health issues. It has been much better with the baby this time around; however, things like this tend to make it flare up again.
9:40 p.m. — I get home, shower, and get in bed with S. where we talk about my concerns about R.’s behavior. Feeling a little better, I do my last pump while we watch Friends, then I head to sleep.
Daily Total: $95.71
Day Five: Saturday
7 a.m. — R. bursts into our room and wakes us up for the day. Neither S. nor I want to get out of bed since we were both up in the night with the kids. Luckily we convince R. to play in our bed with his trucks while we slowly wake up. After breakfast, we hustle R. to get ready for gymnastics then S. leaves with him. Gymnastics class is super expensive but it has really helped R. a lot with both coordination and confidence, which has been great since he is a very cautious kid. I leave for a quick walk with the baby while it is still cool outside.
10 a.m. — We all meet at a park for a friend’s birthday party. I take R. over to play and socialize with the other parents while S. walks around with the baby trying to get her to sleep. I’m a bigger extrovert than S. and he’d much prefer to be with the baby during these kinds of events. After the party, we head home and eat lunch picnic-style on the front porch. R. seems tired so we make him have “quiet time” in his room. He gave up naps a few months ago but we try to encourage some quiet time when we can to help him regulate and reset. S. plays with the baby while watching football. I go on a quick walk and listen to my audiobook.
2 p.m. — I take R. on a walk around the neighborhood in his wagon. We end up stopping at a restaurant where we get a fruit smoothie and a muffin to share. It is nice to spend some one-on-one time with R., which we don’t get to do as much lately. We get home as the baby wakes up from a nap so I feed her while we all hang out in the backyard. $12.60
5 p.m. — We decide to go out to dinner tonight at a barbecue spot with lots of outdoor space for R. to play. It doesn’t turn out to be the best option for me as a vegetarian, but I enjoy some sides while S. and R. have pulled pork and ribs. We are able to bring our own beer to this place, which is nice and saves us some money. The baby sleeps while we eat and play outside. After dinner, we go on a short walk in the neighborhood. $42.65
8 p.m. — We get the kids bathed and read some books before bed. I feed the baby and rock her to sleep while I start a new book on my Libby app (Daisy Haites). Once both kids are asleep, S. and I both shower then work together on a giant pile of laundry while hanging out and watching Friends. I finish the night with my last pump then go to bed. S. heads downstairs for what he deems an “epic” night of sports to watch.
Daily Total: $55.25
Day Six: Sunday
9 a.m. — The baby slept through the night! We are all feeling extra rested this morning so we treat ourselves to breakfast at our local coffee shop, including an egg and cheese panini, an egg and tater tot bowl, two pastries and two coffees. $21.60
10 a.m. — We all head out on a grocery run. First stop is Kroger for specialty grocery items like Greek yogurt ice cream bars, protein bars and produce. S. has a system when it comes to groceries so I’m just along for the ride. $102.78
10:30 a.m. — Next we head to Aldi for most of our food staple items like eggs, milk, chips, cheese sticks, chicken, etc. R. loves Aldi and always tries to add things to the cart (usually from the Aldi mystery aisle). Today he chooses a giant pizza and insists on running around the store with it. The baby sleeps through the whole trip. $205.43
11 a.m. — S. and R. put away the groceries while I feed the baby. I can hear R. opening all the new snacks as he “helps” with putting things in the pantry. S. forgot to buy crescent rolls to make an appetizer for a party we are going to, so he heads back to Aldi while I hang with the kids. $10.42
1 p.m. — We go to a friend’s house for a football party. R. gets to play with the other kids who are around his age, and lots of new and exciting toys. Their daughter is very excited about the baby and she enjoys playing and holding her throughout the afternoon. Ultimately our team loses and it is time to head home.
5 p.m. — When we get home, I go on a short walk with R. while S. works on dinner prep and baby-wears, hoping the baby will fall asleep. The baby isn’t interested in napping on S. so I work on a contact nap while reading my book. We have pizza and steamed broccoli for dinner — outside, to enjoy the weather. We decide to burn some of the sticks that have fallen in the yard and make s’mores. R. takes one bite of his and isn’t a big fan.
8:30 p.m. — After bath, books and bedtime for the kids, I work on cleaning up the house and packing for the work day tomorrow. I shower and get in bed to hang out with S. Last pump then bedtime for us both.
Daily Total: $340.23
Day Seven: Monday
5:30 a.m. — I wake up with the baby. She’s not interested in going back to sleep so I guess I’m up for the day and we cuddle. Not too long after, R. wakes up and also doesn’t want to go back to bed, though S. tries to get him to rest a bit longer. We all mobilize for the day and get ready together.
8 a.m. — I am on drop-off duty today, making my first stop to drop R. off at school before heading to my mother-in-law’s with the baby. I don’t linger long because I have a meeting to get back for. I am working remotely today so when I get home I make coffee and eat some dry cereal while I work. I transfer the $5,000 my dad gave us along with $5,000 from our HYS account to the kids’ 529 accounts. I pump while working and grab a protein bar.
11:45 a.m. — S. and I decide to go to the gym during our lunch break. I do a postpartum HIIT video on YouTube and can tell my legs will be sore! When we get home I make lunch while pumping, including a PB&J, a pear, some popcorn, and protein cookies. I have meetings all afternoon but luckily I can put away some laundry during one of the “listen mode” calls.
4:30 p.m. — I run to pick up R. from school and finish my audiobook on the drive. R. is clearly tired and has a tantrum on the way home. My mother-in-law is kind enough to bring the baby home to us, and she agrees to stay for dinner. I take baby and work on my phone while I contact nap with her. S. makes dinner and R. plays with his grandma. We have bowls of rice with roasted kale, carrots, broccoli and cauliflower plus chicken for most and tofu for me. R. doesn’t do a great job sitting at the table for dinner and we battle over getting him to eat bites, which is extra frustrating in front of my mother-in-law.
8 p.m. — After some outside playing, it is time for baths, books and bed for the kids. I clean up downstairs, start packing up for tomorrow and shower before getting into bed. I hang out with S. in bed, very tired after a busy day. Quick last pump then time for sleep.
Daily Total: $0
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