Baseball cap pulled over my face, palms sweating, I circled the neighbourhood twice before finally pushing open the door. Instead of a hair salon, you’d think I was psyching myself up to revisit the scene of a crime. In some ways I am, if you count unexpected bangs as a felony.
A year earlier, I’d watched in horror as my hairstylist gave me a set of curtain bangs and chopped off twice as much as I’d requested. It took everything not to have a toddler-like meltdown. Instead, I smiled politely as she spun me around in the chair, paid, and sobbed into a margarita as my best friend stroked my back and whispered, “It doesn’t look that bad”, on a loop.
Hair is a big part of our identity and a reflection of our self-expression, so when a cut or color goes wrong, it’s like a stranger is looking back at us in the mirror. But how to handle that situation the right way seems to be equally mystifying. Can I ask for a color correction? Should I just use a box dye at home and pray for the best? What if I just buy loads of hats?
The bottom line is, no stylist wants to give you a cut or a color you’re unhappy with. With that in mind, here’s a foolproof guide I’ll be following for how to leave the salon with the exact look you want, every time — and, all importantly, how to raise concerns without causing offence (or racking up a bar bill) if you’re disappointed with the result.
How do you tell your hairstylist or colorist exactly what you have in mind?
Rule no.1: always book a consultation before a color or a cut. It allows you to share what your vision is for your hair — and for the pros to pitch in with their expertise — before deciding whether you want to go ahead with it or not. “A thorough consultation should set realistic expectations from the beginning,” says Lauren Bailey-Chaidez, a stylist and owner of Feverfew Salon in Los Angeles. “I always try to explain what’s possible (and what’s not) and I check in throughout the appointment so they feel comfortable speaking up if something doesn’t feel right.”
Of course, TikTok’s buzzy ‘Korean bob’ or ‘butterfly layers’ can mean different things to different people. To ensure everyone is on the same page, Dale Herne, a stylist and educator at Hershesons salon in London, advises bringing screenshots of haircuts you really like on social media or on celebrities. “Two or three really great examples are all you need to showcase the style and vibe, ideally on someone with a similar hair texture to yours,” he says.
Pictures will also help your colorist to visualize your desired shade or placement for highlights, adds Bianca Hillier, master colorist at Andy LeCompte Salon in West Hollywood, California. “Words like golden, cool, or red are surprisingly subjective, and clients and colorists often interpret them differently,” she says. “Referencing images eliminates the guesswork and helps determine whether the desired results are realistic in one appointment or whether it will require a long-term plan.” Hillier adds that photos can also be helpful if the salon environment makes you anxious and you’re nervous about explaining what you want your hair to look like.
If you don’t like the cut or color of your hair, when should you say something — and how?
Herne says you shouldn’t feel afraid to speak up if, at any point, you feel like your stylist is cutting too much hair off or if your hair isn’t short enough. Celebrity hairstylist Dimitris Giannetos also stresses that whatever you do, don’t wait until the end of the appointment to express any concerns. “The best time to speak up is while you’re still in the chair,” he says. “Throughout the appointment, your stylist will usually check in, and that’s the perfect opportunity to share your thoughts.”
So while it’s tempting to scroll through your phone during your appointment, most stylists and colorists agree that it’s best to keep a watchful eye on what’s happening, especially if you’ve opted for a fresh style or you’re new to the salon. “The more open you are during the process, the easier it is to make small adjustments before you leave the salon,” says Giannetos.
If things don’t go quite as planned, Bailey-Chaidez maintains honesty is still the best policy. “If you’re unhappy, tell your stylist directly. If you smile, say you love it, and then leave a bad review or post a negative video afterward, you’ve taken away the opportunity for them to fix it or learn from the experience. It’s a two-way process, and both the stylist and the client share some responsibility in making sure everyone leaves feeling good about the experience.” At the end of the day, it’s your hair, says Bailey-Chaidez. “You’re paying for a service, so you should leave feeling happy with the result.”
As for making changes, Herne says that, most of the time, any issues can be addressed there and then. The exception is with color, as you may need to come back at a later date for a correction. Hillier caveats this by saying: “Before assuming the color is wrong, ask about the maintenance and how the color will evolve. Most color will soften, lighten, or settle after a few washes.” Above all, keep the conversation calm and constructive. “If you’re still unhappy, communicate that clearly and respectfully so you and your stylist or colorist can decide on the best route to navigate,” advises Hillier. “The end goal is always to make sure you love your hair, and I would much rather address your concerns than have you leave the salon disappointed.”
How late is too late to change your mind about your hair color? And is it ever okay to ask for a redo?
There’s a difference between correcting something that didn’t go as planned and simply changing your mind about the shade a week or two later and deciding you want a completely different look, says Giannetos. “Hair color is a collaborative process, and it’s completely okay to reach out if something feels different than what you discussed,” Giannetos says. He adds, “That said, try to contact your colorist within the first week if you have concerns. The sooner you communicate, the more options you’ll have.”
This is also why that initial consultation is so crucial, explains Hillier, as it avoids issues further down the line. “If a client changes their mind, it’s best to speak up before the colorist begins mixing the color,” Hillier says. “Once it has been applied, your options become much more limited, and changing direction may require additional appointments to maintain the health and integrity of your hair.”
As for a redo? “If the final result doesn’t reflect what you and your stylist agreed on, or if the color shifts unexpectedly in the first few washes, it’s completely reasonable to reach out,” says Giannetos. “Sometimes a quick toner is all that’s needed to adjust warmth or brightness.” Again, it’s worth pulling up pictures to show what you feel should be done differently.
You dyed your hair at home in between salon visits; how do you tell your colorist?
Professional color is considered the gold standard for lightening or adding multi-dimensional tones to hair. But not everyone is in a financial position to get their hair colored every six to 12 weeks. If you do use a box dye in between appointments, there’s no shame in letting your colorist know. “We aren’t going to be offended — just tell us!” says Bailey-Chaidez. “Home color can have a huge impact on the results we’re able to achieve. Even if it’s faded and you can’t see it anymore, it’s still in your hair and can affect how professional color lifts, deposits, or reacts.”
Disclosing your hair history is also a must for safety reasons, stresses Bailey-Chaidez. “Honestly, clients tell us everything — their family drama, relationship updates, work stress… we want all the details,” she says, adding, “Knowing your hair history is no different. It helps us avoid unexpected chemical reactions and unnecessary damage. The more information you give us, the better we can create a plan that’s safe and gets you as close as possible to your goal.”
Is it rude not to talk to your hairstylist during your appointment?
Hillier has noticed that quiet appointments have become much more commonplace, and most stylists are happy to accommodate them. “As a professional, it’s my job to read the room,” says Hillier. “It’s obvious if a client is on call, or clicking away on a keyboard, that they’re clearly occupied.” You’ll still receive a great service, reassures Herne. “A good sign is when a client gently closes their eyes during an appointment,” he explains. “It gives me the signal that they’d prefer a quiet service and just want to relax.”
There may also be more complex reasons for wanting to avoid conversation that day. For some people, small talk can be intimidating and a quiet service can calm jangly nerves. “Bringing headphones to listen to music or watch a movie can make you feel more comfortable, especially in a loud and upbeat salon environment,” Hillier says. (Side note: Just make sure they’re wireless earbuds rather than over-ear headphones so they don’t interfere with your hair).
Politely explaining to your colorist or stylist that you’re just not feeling up for a chatty session is perfectly acceptable, too, says Hillier. “It’s not rude – simply tell your colorist that you’re in a funk,” she adds. Just remember, some collaboration is still necessary: during the consultation appointment, for example, to ensure everyone has clarity on the desired result, and if your stylist or colorist checks in to make sure you’re happy with how things are progressing.
Is it bad salon etiquette to hop between stylists or colorists?
The short answer is no. “There’s no rule that says you have to stick with the same stylist or colorist forever,” says Herne. Many salons keep detailed client notes for consistency. “If your regular stylist is unavailable, seeing another stylist is never a problem,” says Bailey-Chaidez, adding that at her salon, referrals between teammates are completely normal. Regarding loyalty, Hillier says it’s always appreciated, but it’s also earned through results and trust. “If a client has clearly communicated their goals over multiple appointments and is still not receiving the desired look, it’s appropriate to seek a second opinion or new artist,” she says.
So it’s absolutely okay to try somewhere new. But in some circumstances, Herne stresses that there are also benefits to giving someone a second chance and building an ongoing relationship with your existing stylist or colorist. “Over time, they understand your hair’s texture, how it behaves, what’s been done to it previously and, most importantly, what you’re trying to achieve long term,” he says. “That history allows them to make more informed decisions and tailor your cut or color.”
Ultimately, the decision is yours, but everyone agrees that the biggest thing is respect. “If you weren’t happy with your service, have that conversation first if you can,” says Bailey-Chaidez. “But if you were disrespectful to your stylist and then decide to come back later, that can make things awkward.” Open, honest communication goes a long way: “Most stylists appreciate the opportunity to make things right.”
What are some tips for socially anxious people navigating hair salons?
While some people revel in the mirror selfies, the playlist and the social interaction, a busy salon can be a stressful and overwhelming environment for others.
Most stylists agree that mid-morning and mid-week appointments tend to be quieter, so you may prefer to book in then. “Booking a consultation first can also help you ease into the experience and get familiar with the space without committing to a full service,” says Bailey-Chaidez. If booking in person or over the phone feels daunting, consider making an appointment online or via an app. “And don’t hesitate to reach out with questions before your appointment — many stylists are happy to communicate via email or DM if that feels more comfortable,” she says.
When you arrive, it’s perfectly normal if things feel a little awkward at first, Bailey-Chaidez adds. “Especially in salons without a traditional front desk,” she admits. “But most stylists understand this and will do their best to acknowledge you as soon as they can.” Bailey-Chaidez stresses that your stylist or colorist will also follow your lead — whether you’re comfortable chatting or prefer to keep conversation minimal. “You can also let them know during the service that you’d like a quiet appointment,” says Hillier. “Everyone wants you to feel comfortable and relaxed throughout the process.”
Most importantly, give yourself grace says Bailey-Chaidez. “Finding a stylist and environment that feels safe and comfortable can take time, and that’s completely okay.”
When and how much should you tip?
Bailey-Chaidez says 20% gratuity is the standard tip for a cut or color. When it comes to corrections, she notes: “Allow your stylist to make adjustments that day or schedule a correction appointment within the week if needed. If the service isn’t finished because you’re waiting on a correction, I’d hold off on the tip until everything is complete.”
If you later decide you simply don’t like the look — even though your stylist gave you exactly what you asked for — that’s a different situation, Bailey-Chaidez says. “Many stylists or salons will still try to help by offering a discounted adjustment or second service, even when it’s not technically their mistake,” she says. In which case, a tip is one way to show your appreciation.
How can you build a better rapport with your hairstylist?
Hillier says that trust is built over time, but booking with the same stylist or colorist means they can better understand your preferences, lifestyle, and long-term hair goals. “Share honest feedback, ask questions, and let them know how you’re feeling throughout the process,” she says. “The stronger the relationship, the better your results become.” Booking your next appointment when you pay is one way to guarantee consistent results. Following your stylist’s recommendations for aftercare, like using heat protection and a once-weekly hair mask, is another.
Divulging your daily hair care routine is equally important. “Let them know how much time you’re willing to spend styling your hair at home and be honest about your maintenance expectations,” Giannetos says. Do you wash your hair every day, for example? Do you prefer to air-dry rather than blow-dry? Do you use styling products in your hair or do you simply wash and head out the door? All this can determine the best cut and color on a practical level. “The best results happen when there’s trust on both sides,” he says. “Think of your stylist as your beauty partner — the more they know about your routine and goals, the better they can customize your look.”
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