One of the most popular topics of discussion on the internet is the “Male Loneliness Epidemic.” Many refer to it as the reason we have “Alpha male” podcasts and an increasing number of red pill-type content targeted towards Gen Z and Gen Alpha young boys. Women are noticing that the men they date are participating in and exhibiting behaviors that make them very unlikeable and undatable. Loneliness is a serious subject, but when paired with misogyny and contempt towards women, it has become a punchline. When a woman posts about a bad dating experience or a wife posts about her careless and clueless husband, the jokes ensue. After each of these instances, I think the same thing: straight men are simply not lonely enough. The bar is on the floor, and these men can’t even meet that low standard. Maybe loneliness is what they deserve.
Watching this season of Love is Blind, I am beginning to understand the male loneliness epidemic more and more. In the last batch of episodes of the dating reality series, I watched these men unravel and say things to their fiancées that were deeply concerning. The humiliation ritual masquerading as a reality show that we all binge-watch with glee is back with Season 10, set in Ohio. As Love Is Blind grows, there is always the question: “Are these people here for the right reasons?” I think there are better questions like, “are these men ready for commitment at all?”, “are they truly ready to let another person into their lives?”, and “are they willing to actually do the work it takes in a relationship?” For all of the aforementioned questions, the answer is giving a glaring no. Don’t they know this show is supposed to end in marriage?
Kevan is a great example of someone who is not ready for the commitment that this experiment requires. His indecisiveness puts him in a love triangle with Tyler and Keya. In Episode 4 during the pods (the part of the series where couples are not allowed to see each others’ faces yet), Kevan says that he needs to “do the mature decision,” because he wants the “best for everybody” and “doesn’t want to let anybody down,” which made me roll my eyes and wish he would make up his mind.
Overall, the men on this season of Love Is Blind put their own lust over love repeatedly and show a complete lack of care or respect towards their fiancées.
In an interview on the podcast What’s the Reality? with LIB Season 6 contestant AD, Tyler revealed that what we didn’t see was Kevan’s admission that he was not ready to be married, and saying that if he were her, he would run. So, she did. All of Kevan’s flakiness led both Tyler and Keya to leave him in the pods. Throughout those episodes, Kevan seemed like he just didn’t want to lose the game he was playing.
In the pods, Emma was very vocal about not wanting kids, but her fiancé, Mike, kept trying to convince her she would be a great mom. He even explained this to her family by using the nonsensical analogy that if she can take care of a puppy, she can take care of a baby. This man should be alone until he can listen to a woman’s choices and respect them. It was baffling when, in the same scene, Mike said he was open to what Emma wants, then backtracked and said having kids was non-negotiable. If it was so important to him, he should not have proposed to Emma. Mike said he was really banking on Emma her changing her mind and that he thought he could be the one to change it, if she could just see his “passion for wanting kids.” This is disrespectful to her wishes and a waste of both of their time.
In true Love Is Blind fashion, many couples are having issues revolving around their physical appearances and the men feeling disappointed that the women they chose are not their “type.” We’ve seen this before on Love is Blind. We saw it in Season 2 with Shake & Deepti and in Season 3 with Bartise & Nancy. Of course, we know that people are human and physical attractiveness does matter in a relationship, but the show is called LOVE IS BLIND.
This season, this dilemma plagues three couples: Brittany and Devonta, Ashley and Alex, and Jessica and Chris. Brittany consistently told Devonta she didn’t feel secure in their relationship because he was not physically and verbally affectionate. He excused the distance by saying he was dealing with the death of his grandfather (who passed while the show was being filmed). But Devonta also revealed that Brittany is not his physical “type” and that he has never dated a woman of color. Brittany is Black and Latina. When I interviewed Brittany, I asked how she felt watching the episodes back and hearing how Devonta felt about her and she said that in the back of her mind she felt Devonte’s distaste towards her. Don’t worry girl, we could all feel it too. Devonta seems to be a self-hating mess and should be in therapy, not on reality TV.
The worst man of all is Chris.
In Ohio, Ashley told self-proclaimed Trump supporter and alleged scammer Alex that their intimacy was lacking. She brought up that they had not been intimate since arriving home from Mexico. He told her he was the one who initiated physical intimacy in Cabo and that now it was her turn. He then went on to say he was unaware that he could initiate sex with her while she is on her period. AGAIN, MEN AREN’T LONELY ENOUGH. Alex spends a majority of Episode 10 gaslighting Ashley because he can’t keep his story about his past exes straight. While Alex reassured Ashley that he is attracted to her, he told her to her face that she is not his typical “type” which is a horrible thing to repeatedly tell your partner.
The worst man of all is Chris. By now, you’ve probably seen the scene that has gone viral. It shows Chris sitting across from his partner Jessica, a doctor, and telling her that he is not attracted to her because she doesn’t work out enough. The audacity of this man. In the scene, Chris says to Jessica that he is not enjoying their sex life because he’s, “used to girls who do Pilates every day.” Mind you, in my opinion, Chris is a short five (and that’s being generous) with tiny hands, and Jessica is a hot doctor.
If that wasn’t bad enough, Chris also tells Jessica that he might be happier with Bri because he is more attracted to her. The more he explains himself as the episode goes on, the more openly disrespectful he becomes toward Jessica. He even loudly confesses to Bri and the other girls that Jessica was the worst sex he has ever had. Later in the evening, Chris even makes a sad attempt at reconciling with Jessica. He continously tries to get her to know he wasn’t trying to be mean all the while not understanding why what he said was so hurtful. Chris deserves worse than loneliness.
Overall, the men in this season of Love Is Blind put their own lust over love repeatedly and show a complete lack of care or respect towards their fiancées. The Love Is Blind casting directors need to find men who actually like women. We live in a time when women’s rights are being stripped away, when domestic violence is on the rise, and when even in our highest moments, we become the butt of the joke. At the very least, we want to be able to enjoy our silly dating reality show without having to watch men degrade and disrespect the women they supposedly love.
These men don’t want wives; they want unopinionated robots to put up with them.
Watching this season, it feels as though the men would rather treat the women more like experiments than human beings. They expect the women to bend, break, and mold themselves into who they want them to be, instead of seeing them for who they are and accepting the women they spent time getting to know in the pods. These men don’t want wives; they want unopinionated robots to put up with them. I would rather all of them just tell the truth and say, “This is not for me. I have some work to do.”
At the end of these episodes, it is clear these men are not ready for marriage, for falling in love at all, or for considering their partners’ needs and wants. We have one more week before the wedding episodes and I hope Emma, Ashley, and Brittany follow Jessica, Keya, and Tyler’s lead and run for the hills! There may be a male loneliness epidemic, but Season 10 of Love Is Blind is proving that maybe men are not nearly lonely enough.
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