Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
This week: a mental health counselor working in private practice who makes $58,765 per year and spends some of it on two posters that I’ve been eyeing for my dining room wall for months.
This Money Diary was written in the fall of 2025.
Editor’s note: After a short hiatus, we’re back once a week! Thank you for your patience. We’ll be honoring Money Diary submissions we received during our break by publishing them in the coming weeks. There’s more to come soon — stay tuned.
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Trigger warning: This diary mentions sudden death.
Occupation: Mental health counselor
Industry: Behavioral health
Age: 46
Location: Queens, NY
Salary: $58,765
Joint Income/Financial Setup:
Assets: My one-bedroom co-op apartment purchased in 2024 for $265,000 (I put almost 50% down, thanks to my parents, so that I wouldn’t have an insane mortgage payment every month. My immigrant father joked that it was the money he saved for the wedding I will never have, so he might as well help me get a home).
Checking Account: $11,485.93
Savings Account: $15,508.92
Schwab Brokerage Account: $320,935.13 (stocks gifted to me by my mother right before I started shopping for a home to improve my chances of getting approved for a mortgage and by a co-op board).
Debt:
Mortgage: $138,084.19
VISA Sapphire credit card: $2,345
Paycheck Amount (1x weekly): $1493.88
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs:
Mortgage: $945.29
HOA: $1034.25 (covers electric/gas, water, heat, property taxes, maintenance). This was recently raised for the second time this year due to increased utilities and operating costs; however, the board and most elderly residents are resistant to making any changes that would bring down said costs, like installing solar panels on all of our roofs or upgrading boilers to deliver more efficient heat. This is one of the drawbacks of cooperative living, but it was the only way I was going to become a homeowner. The jump to homeownership came from a pretty traumatic experience in the rent-stabilized apartment I lived in for almost 10 years. I could never rent again after that, but I also didn’t have $700K laying around to buy a home in a semi-decent neighborhood, which is what the more affordable options go for these days in the boroughs.
Loan Payments: None. I paid off my two student loans in 2023 and 2024, respectively.
Internet: $49.99
Phone: $16 (family plan)
Planet Fitness/gym: $20.89
Fidelis Health Insurance: $431.39
Subscriptions: $9.99 (Discovery Plus); $11.99 (Hulu); $19.59 (Netflix); $0.99 (Apple Storage); $29 (Psychology Today); $86 (Simple Practice management software); $136.10 (insurance management services).
Personal Therapy: $500 (my provider doesn’t take my insurance so it’s all out of pocket).
Annual expenses charged in different months of the year as follows:
Chase Sapphire Rewards: $99 (Jan); Planet Fitness Black membership: $40.76 (June); ACA (professional counseling association): $189 (Oct); HSPO Professional Liability Insurance: $108 (Nov); Home/COOP owner’s Insurance w/ Plymouth Assurance: $383 (Dec).
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it
There was a lot of pressure to obtain higher education as an eldest daughter and child of immigrants. My father had a fifth-grade education, but my mother was able to attain a Master’s degree. This created a lot of tension and mixed messages about what it means to be highly educated and female in my culture. I was simultaneously encouraged to soak up all the knowledge, but also told to “dumb it down” so as not to intimidate men. I chose to attend one of the city colleges so that I could afford to pay for it on my own without loans. Once I completed my undergraduate studies, I spent most of my twenties in a spiral of “dumbing it down” while also trying to figure out what I wanted to do outside of my family’s expectations of me. At age 30, I decided to complete a two-year associate’s program in a health-related field that informed my path to becoming a mental health professional. I took out loans to pay for this, but my mother supported my living expenses at that time, in secret, so as to avoid my father’s disapproval. This was the case in her family during a time when most women were getting married right out of high school, but my grandmother told her never to be dependent on a man. I think this “you can only rely on yourself” mentality has helped me achieve a lot in my current career, including paying for grad school without any loans and establishing a private practice to work for myself once I became licensed.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My parents have a solid immigrant work ethic, but a huge scarcity mentality stemming from the war and poverty they grew up with that was passed down to their kids. It was ingrained in me never to owe anyone ANYTHING, so all debts get paid in full, and you don’t borrow money unless there is no other way. My father was able to establish a comfortable middle-class lifestyle (when that still existed) for us growing up, but you would never know it by the way he would qualify everything with, “We don’t have money for that.” I tend to be tighter with the purse strings than a lot of my friends, and I used to wonder how they complained about being broke when they made three times my salary. It felt like an achievement to exist on so little, but I have come to realize how “non-negotiable” setting aside funds for quality-of-life expenses like nice dinners, art shows, and travel is for my mental well-being.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked 15 hours a week in my senior year of high school at a local retail chain. One of my childhood friends was already working there and got me an interview with the general manager, this older Italian lady who treated us like her grandkids. I used the money I saved to pay for my first semester of college.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I did and I didn’t. I felt safe and secure in my parents’ ability to provide for all the necessities of life, but shut down and shamed for wanting anything beyond that. There was always this anxious dread of having to ask for money to pay for things my father wouldn’t approve of, which was almost everything. I couldn’t wait to start working, but my father initially disapproved of this, too, because he couldn’t control what I did with my own money.
Do you worry about money now?
I do, but more so about securing my future. I always have enough to eat and pay my bills, but I worry about the rising costs of everything and my ability to save for any kind of retirement tract with the way the world is right now. I’m riding the wave for now, but there are just too many unknowns.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
While I began paying all of my own expenses at 17-years-old, I became financially emancipated when I moved out of my parents’ home at age 24. I had to move back for a few months at age 34 and again at age 44 while I secured new housing, but I paid for all of my needs myself to avoid any kind of dependency that could lead to guilting. I know that I can rely on them in an emergency, but their financial help is often conditional and comes with a cost.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents gifted me the down payment funds for my current apartment purchase. My mother also transferred stock funds over to me so that I could boost my assets on paper for my home purchase. I treat these like an inheritance since it all came from the sale of my late grandfather’s home back in 2017.
Day One: Monday
6:30 a.m. — I wake up at 6:30 a.m. to the “alarm” of my neighbors leaving for work (alas, the dry wall doesn’t provide any kind of sound buffer in this building). I take my supplements and brew a K-Cup of dark roast coffee that I mix with a scoop of L-theanine (an amino acid that helps manage my anxiety and improves sleep). I’ve been taking it for five months and feel a difference in my ability to calm down from a stressful work day. I add a teaspoon of turbinado sugar and some organic half-and-half to create my own version of whipped coffee. I answer my 13-year-old niece’s text about her mother’s birthday gift to ask if she wants help paying for it. Her response: “Well, I have like five dollars, soooooo.” I laugh and tell her to buy the card. I order the gift on Amazon ($38.75) and start going through my emails to prepare for the workday. I have a slew of administrative tasks related to insurance and a continuing education course that needs to get done before my evening appointments. $38.75
10:30 a.m. — I squeeze in a workout around 10 a.m. and make myself an egg and cheese croissant for breakfast afterward. I usually work out fasted and don’t have my first meal of the day until 10:30-11 a.m. I take a brain break around 2 p.m. to watch the news and have a snack of sliced apple and a clementine. The government shutdown and all the instability in the world is making everyone super anxious and depressed, myself included. While coping skills and action plans are great “triage,” we need more definitive guarantees that the basics of food, shelter, and healthcare won’t be taken away. I’m right there with a lot of my clients in that feeling of just treading water. I finish my continuing education course around 4 p.m. and lie on the floor to ground my nervous system before I head into my back-to-back client sessions.
7:30 p.m. — I submit insurance claims and sign off for the day at 7:30 p.m. I decide to indulge in the rest of my hazelnut truffles from ION, my favorite Greek chocolate brand, leftover from Halloween, and watch a few episodes of The Golden Girls to wind down from the day. I grew up watching this as a little girl, and it brings me a familiar comfort not unlike my own grandmother wrapping me up in a blanket while feeding me ridiculous stories and cheesecake. I start to feel sleepy around 9:30 p.m. and decide it’s time for bed. This day is done.
Daily Total: $38.75
Day Two: Tuesday
5:53 a.m. — I awoke at 5:53 a.m. due to the upstairs neighbors having a case of the “dropsies.” I take my supplements, make my whipped coffee drink, and scroll through election-related news to properly wake up my brain. I’m anxious about what the situation will be like at the polling station today. Last year, security had to remove people because the scanners were malfunctioning, and they became aggressive and accusatory toward the volunteers. I try to distract my mind by making a list of all the self-care I want to engage in this week, including getting my hair done and having dinner with my good friend/mentor who happens to be in town. I finish my coffee, shower, and get dressed to walk over to my polling station, about two miles from where I live. The walk will be good for clearing my head and moving some of this anxious energy out.
11:00 a.m. — There are barely any people there when I arrive and voting takes less than five minutes. I buy a brownie and a small water from the PTA bake sale ($4) in the front lobby and walk back the longer way to get an extra mile of cardio in. I decide to pop into my hair salon, hoping to be squeezed in, but my stylist is fully booked and gives me an appointment for Friday. I make another pit stop at my liquor store to replenish my wine cabinet with some Primitivo, but settle for a Rioja and Italian Cabernet blend. ($30.98) I make a large cruciferous salad with grilled olives and the Tvarog farmer’s cheese I bought last week from the Euro market. I toast a pita and dip it into some olive oil as I watch the news for updates on the election. $34.98
8:30 p.m. — I finish a little later than expected due to going over the time with my last client and sign off from all my admin around 8:30 p.m. I decide to indulge in some of the free Halloween candy I swiped while making my hair appointment, while I begin a back-and-forth of texts and voice notes with a guy I matched with. I actually feel excited about how much we have in common and the ease of our conversation so far. Dating in my city can be very mentally taxing, and I had just paused my profile when his match came through. I feel cautiously optimistic…for now. My eyelids start closing around 10:45 p.m. — it’s way past my bedtime.
Daily Total: $34.98
Day Three: Wednesday
7:15 a.m. — I wake up at 7:15 am (gasp) feeling rested, but a little dehydrated from the dry heat of my radiators. I look at my phone and see the election results, along with texts from my sister about my niece’s Christmas-related meltdown after seeing a gift she has to have. I take my supplements, make my whipped coffee drink, and check emails before starting on progress notes from the last two days. Wednesdays are one of my longer days with appointments spread out from 11 until 8 p.m., so I want to get ahead of the paperwork as much as possible. I schedule my next three days of home workouts to make sure I prioritize time for my own well-being. Work-life balance is why I went into private practice, but sometimes I fall off on making use of my breaks for myself instead of trying to catch up on all the administrative work. I’m trying to be better about this, especially with the holiday “trigger” season coming up.
10:30 a.m. — I shower and make my first meal of the day — two slices of Ukrainian dark bread with hummus, brie cheese, grilled olives, and a boiled egg — before I log into my first appointment.
3:00 p.m. — My mom drops by for a surprise visit during my long break, midafternoon, with cookies from a local bakery to have over coffee. I forgo doing notes to relax and listen to the gossip of extended family drama. I decide to walk her half the way back home, which gets in two miles of much-needed movement before I sit for the last of my appointments.
7:50 p.m. — I log off for the day at 7:50 p.m. and snack on apple slices as I wait for my phone date with the guy I had been texting the previous day. Unfortunately, the ease of conversation that I had been feeling thus far isn’t there in real time. I’m put off by how scripted he’s coming off and the questions he’s asking that make it clear he didn’t really listen to any of the voice notes with particular attention. I feel like I’m talking to an AI chat bot. As he rambles on about a project he’s working on, he discloses some key information that lets me know we don’t align in our dating intentions. I tell him that I’m starting to fade and need to let him go at the one-hour 17-minute mark of our call, but he continues his monologue, saying that he just had to get that out before he let me go. I finally hang up at 10:30 p.m. and watch half an episode of The Golden Girls to reset before sleep overtakes me.
Daily Total: $0
Day Four: Thursday
5:53 a.m. — I wake up at 5:53 a.m. from insane anxiety dreams that I immediately write down. I take my supplements, make my whipped coffee, and set up for my morning workout — kickboxing and deep core activation. I finish around 9:30 a.m. and make a second cup of coffee as I work on progress notes from the previous day. I take the DND off my phone and am inundated with texts and notifications about the tragic death of a classmate. I make a note of the memorial and respond to the group chat fundraising for their family.
10:30 a.m. — I lose my appetite, but force myself to eat a post-workout meal at 10:30 a.m. of Ukrainian dark bread, jamón, brie, and the rest of the hummus. I slice an apple with peanut butter to get some additional fat and protein in. I’m grateful to have my own therapy this morning. There are very few safe spaces these days and I really need to feel seen, heard, and understood. Therapy supports me to be able to do this work at a high level while also allowing me to be a human with my own “messy” emotions.
12:30 p.m. — After therapy, I place an order on Sephora for my daily moisturizer from Biossance ($44.42), taking advantage of its 15% off storewide sale. I finish my apple slices and continue working on progress notes until my first appointment of the day. I decide to use my long break for a nap, but end up watching the news a little longer than I probably should have, and reposting therapy-related content to my IG stories. I do some household chores to reset my head before heading into my client calls. $44.42
4:30 p.m. — I make an early dinner of orzo with capers, grated Locatelli and cracked pepper, along with the rest of the jamón, that I eat before the last two calls of the day. I check my phone and see a text from my match about his project (his own words: “I can’t shut up about this thing”). I respond to it out of politeness, but I know I have to tell him that I’m not feeling this. It’s a conversation I have no bandwidth for tonight, so I put the Do Not Disturb back on.
7:30 p.m. — I finish my final admin tasks before logging off. I foam roll and stretch to release the tension of sitting for the past two hours. I decide to unwind by watching the latest episode of The Great British Bake Off. I get weepy about how kind and sweet everyone is toward one another. There’s not enough of that in the world right now. I decide to listen to my body and crash early at 9:30 p.m.
Daily Total: $44.42
Day Five: Friday
4:00 a.m. — I wake up drenched in sweat at 4 a.m. due to my apartment being unbelievably hot. I realize that I forgot to leave the window open a crack as I usually do. I drink 16 ounces of water and lie back down with the early morning breeze hitting me, hoping sleep will return, but it doesn’t. I get up, take my supplements, and make my whipped coffee as I settle into my morning guilty pleasure of looking at real estate on Zillow. I text my sister about yet another tragic event — a neighborhood kid who was killed on his way to school yesterday morning — to see if my niece knew him. Her school is offering students crisis support, but I want to make myself available in case she needs to talk. I learn that two of her classmates have been critically injured in e-bike accidents this year, but she doesn’t know this kid. My heart hurts for how devastated his parents are and what will happen to the driver who hit him.
9:00 a.m. — I make a second cup of coffee around 7:30 a.m. and get started on the rest of the progress notes from the week. Fridays are when I catch up on all unfinished business. I’m psyched for my hair appointment and dinner date later on tonight. I get my workout done around 9 a.m. and make a breakfast of two fried eggs on a whole wheat pita with roasted grapes that I made last week, and the rest of the brie. My fridge is now painfully empty so a grocery run is in order, but not going to happen today. My brain feels like soup from the 4 a.m. wake-up and I can’t organize my thoughts to get anything done other than napping. I finish one more note before lying on my couch for a few hours.
1:30 p.m. — I wake up with enough time to make my hair appointment at 1:45 p.m. It’s a local spot owned by a raspy Fran Drescher-type stylist who chain smokes throughout the service, but she does the job well enough. I pay for my single process color and blowout with tip in cash ($160) and rush home to change for my dinner date at a trendy Mexican spot in the city. I love seeing my mentor/friend because our conversations always recharge my battery and remind me that I’m more than just my job. $160.00
6:30 p.m. — Dinner consists of various tostadas, octopus and duck carnitas, and a spicy serrano margarita. The bartender treats us to a shot of the smoothest tequila blanco I’ve ever tasted from a brand called Lalo to enjoy with our cornhusk meringue dessert. My friend insists that dinner is her treat, so I feel doubly taken care of after such a hard week.
9:00 p.m. — I head home on the subway and bus ($5.90) with a full belly and heart, but I’m fading hard. I get home at 10:45 p.m., wash my face, and crawl into bed immediately…with the window open this time. $5.90
Daily Total: $165.90
Day Six: Saturday
7:00 a.m. — I wake up at 7:00 a.m. from pleasant dreams for once, but feeling the beginning of a cold coming on. I take my supplements, make my whipped coffee, and browse Crate and Barrel’s holiday gift suggestions. I’m hosting my family for Thanksgiving this year and need to source a good serving dish and bar accessory kit in preparation for that. I text my sister and brother-in-law for their ETA in coming to help me install some lights and window fixtures in the house. I push back my dinner plans with friends to make sure that I have enough time to commute without stressing. There is no subway service in my area this weekend, which is typical for the city. We joke that the MTA laughs when you make plans. I plan out which trains I will be taking to visit a friend out of state tomorrow and continue working on progress notes now that my brain is back online.
11:00 a.m. — I hop in the shower and get dressed around 11 a.m. before making myself a sandwich from Trader Joe’s veggie burger patty, a boiled egg, Twaróg farmer’s cheese, and cracked pepper on two slices of Ukrainian dark bread. I have the last of my sour pickles for some crunch and probiotics as I watch the latest news on the government shutdown.
2:00 p.m. — I decide to order my Christmas tree from Kohl’s ($32.65) and housewarming ornament from Etsy ($24.90), taking advantage of its pre-Black Friday deals before my sister and family arrive around 3 p.m. We spend the next two hours discovering all the structural issues of this early 1950s construction that make our tasks at hand more challenging than they need to be. Thankfully, my brother-in-law is a master “jury rigger” and saves the day. His love language is fixing things and acts of service. $57.55
5:30 p.m. — I clean up like a madwoman and text the group chat to let my friends know that I’m running late. I’m ravenous by this point and regret that I didn’t have a snack to hold me over. I miss the bus ($2.90) by seconds and end up getting to the soup dumpling shop 20 minutes late. The wait time for a table is 40 minutes. I text for an ETA and learn that one of them is having a family emergency. My other friend shows up just as our table number is called. Both of us are stressed for very different reasons, but at least we have food. $2.90
7:15 p.m. — We dine on pork dumplings, chive and scallion pancakes, and cucumber garlic salad. This place turns over tables the second you’re done eating, so after I pay the check ($38.41), we decide to grab some dessert from a local Chinese bakery (her treat) and walk off the rest of this frazzled energy on the way to her car. Parking is nonexistent in this area of Queens so it’s a good ten-minute walk to get there. I’m home by 9 p.m. and eat my well-earned dessert of crème brûlée after washing my face and changing into PJs. I end up falling asleep on the couch and get into my bed around 10 p.m. $38.41
Daily Total: $98.86
Day Seven: Sunday
6:45 a.m. — I awoke at 6:45 a.m. to the high-pitched sound of some kind of engine outside my window. There is no sleep for the weary in this hood, I swear! I take my supplements, make my whipped coffee, and do some online shopping for two posters ($27.95) that I’ve been eyeing for my dining room wall for months. I’m shifting toward more decorative “nesting” now that all the major home improvements are done. $27.95
9:30 a.m. — I shower, get dressed, and pack my overnight bag for my visit with my friend out of state. I check the train schedule again to make sure everything is running on time and buy my e-ticket before heading out for my walk to the station. $16.25
10:45 a.m. — I make a pit stop at a local cafe to grab a latte and two mini croissants that I pay for in cash before boarding the train. I text my friend my ETA as I settle into my three-hour commute and start reading When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté. She responds by suggesting I order a Lyft to her place once I arrive because she’s still working. $13.56
2:30 p.m. — My driver ends up being Turkish and we vibe to the music of a famous pop singer that’s pretty well known in my culture, too, on the ride to my friend’s place. I read another chapter of my book and make a coffee as I wait for my friend to free up from her meeting. After a two-minute-long hug (we haven’t seen each other in over three months), we decide to stay in for the night because we’re both fried from our respective weeks and it’s already semi-dark out at 4 p.m. $35.77
5:00 p.m. — We take a quick ride over to the local liquor store, where the owner is known for offering samples of new tequilas. I find their only bottle of Lalo, that amazing tequila I had on Friday, and buy it for our evening in. My friend makes a glorious curry noodle bowl for us with mushrooms, squash, onion, chili crisp, and coconut milk as we sip our tequila and have the most epic catch-up. $53.16
10:00 p.m. — We gorge on some snacks after dinner from Trader Joe’s for dessert, including dark chocolate butter cookies, chocolate-covered mini pretzels, and chocolate-covered potato chip “Snacky Clusters.” I call it a night around 11:00 p.m. — good eats and tequila did its job, and I let sleep overtake me.
Daily Total: $146.69
Conclusion
Conclusion:
“I’ve realised that I don’t eat enough throughout the day and need to be better about grocery shopping in bulk or at least on a more frequent basis so I don’t end up at absolute zero. I feel that I did really well with self-care expenses during probably one of the most financially stressful years of my life. I didn’t default to deprivation and austerity in response to that anxiety. Overall, it’s helped me confirm that I can still have a work-life balance even when income ebbs.”
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